rae_lana Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 He says he would rather move than live as we are. Not because he doesn't want to stay but because he's exhausted. He said nothing about feeling guilty or bad, only that loving two people is making him crazy, he can't focus, he can't eat work or sleep properly. He knows he has to pick one of us and that he'd have to leave this area.. If I won't leave my husband, they are leaving. My husband IS suspicious now because its sudden news. I am exhausted too. But I really would rather stay exhausted than lose them from my life. Is it possible his reason is the full truth?
Charym88 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I think it's impossible to love 2 people at the same time. If it is possible, I'm sure it's not perfectly equal feelings. Therefore, I think the person he chooses is the one he loves more or, in a very rare instance, he may be pushed by society "to do the right thing." This has recently happened to me recently. He went back to be unhappy because of the pressure by society. He had a child with the woman and him and I had nothing but our love. If societal pressure is the issue and he truly loves you, he will be back. The thing about pressure is that it works for so long before it backfires in the opposite direction.
Pierre Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 People having affairs are often in love. OM loves you deeply. But, this live is within the affair bubble. It seems OM knows a d day would be fatal for this amazing love he has four you. The logical solution for OM is to leave. It seems OM has some clear thoughts.
Pierre Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I think it's impossible to love 2 people at the same time. If it is possible, I'm sure it's not perfectly equal feelings. Therefore, I think the person he chooses is the one he loves more or, in a very rare instance, he may be pushed by society "to do the right thing." This has recently happened to me recently. He went back to be unhappy because of the pressure by society. He had a child with the woman and him and I had nothing but our love. If societal pressure is the issue and he truly loves you, he will be back. The thing about pressure is that it works for so long before it backfires in the opposite direction. Most OMs love both the OW And wife. Long term love is simply harder to break. Short term romance seems more exciting, but it is easier to.break. 1
Red Wolverine Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 He wants the distance between you. If he knew he wanted to be with you, he'd man up and tell his wife and your husband the truth and let the chips fall. Acting like it's your choice allows him to place the responsibility on you. He knows you won't choose to be honest. Win win scenario for him. If you doubt this, tell him you have decided to be with him. Watch him backpedal. 3
Author rae_lana Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 He wants the distance between you. If he knew he wanted to be with you, he'd man up and tell his wife and your husband the truth and let the chips fall. Acting like it's your choice allows him to place the responsibility on you. He knows you won't choose to be honest. Win win scenario for him. If you doubt this, tell him you have decided to be with him. Watch him backpedal. I agree with this.. A lot, however if he was to tell his wife and my husband I would be very angry.. So that's a big reason he's not.
Pierre Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I agree with this.. A lot, however if he was to tell his wife and my husband I would be very angry.. So that's a big reason he's not. Why would you be angry? The two if you may end up together.
Red Wolverine Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I agree with this.. A lot, however if he was to tell his wife and my husband I would be very angry.. So that's a big reason he's not. Seriously, the big reason is that he wants to stay in his marriage. It's very simple... Him moving is a brilliant strategy on his part. He gets to act like he's sacrificing himself to make this easier for both of you. The reality is the kitchen is way too hot and he's getting out. He knows this will be discovered for one reason or another if he stays.
Author rae_lana Posted August 12, 2013 Author Posted August 12, 2013 Seriously, the big reason is that he wants to stay in his marriage. It's very simple... Him moving is a brilliant strategy on his part. He gets to act like he's sacrificing himself to make this easier for both of you. The reality is the kitchen is way too hot and he's getting out. He knows this will be discovered for one reason or another if he stays. I think you are right. I really do.
Praying4Peace Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Didnt he say 'if you won't leave your husband they are leaving'?? Will you leave your husband if he agrees to leave his wife? Sounds like he's giving you and option, who knows if he'll stick with it.
Author rae_lana Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Didnt he say 'if you won't leave your husband they are leaving'?? Will you leave your husband if he agrees to leave his wife? Sounds like he's giving you and option, who knows if he'll stick with it. Yes. He says we could go together. Right now they are planning on moving and she's so excited about it. I have no idea what to do. He said he loves us both but very differently, he's always been scared of leaving her, she doesn't really have any family. We both care about to, I don't know what to say. I couldn't do it to her. She doesn't know a lot about him.. My husband has been pretty indifferent to me lately. Believe it or not, I'm trying at home. I try really hard not to think about any of this.
Author rae_lana Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 (edited) I don't know if I can believe anything he says. I don't really trust anyone though and I think he's told me mostly the truth and its lined up with what she says mostly. But I believe her. She says they haven't had sex in two months. That on top of her not knowing a huge side of him, must make some difference? I don't know that I want him to want to be with me I cannot imagine how this would happen.. I just am really nervous. Edited August 13, 2013 by rae_lana
Author rae_lana Posted August 13, 2013 Author Posted August 13, 2013 Why would you be angry? The two if you may end up together. I would love to end up with him. I think about it more and more. But I also know I would lay in bed awake and think about her and my husband and what I did every single night. Right now they are happy right. They are. I get we are harming then slowly.. I get that. But I do think its wrong to tell them this and leave?? We have family and friends here. Everyone would hate me for sure and my job would be lost here for sure. Moving would be the only option.
Recommended Posts