Charym88 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I just realized today after 6 days of NC that I really probably didn't love my ex. After all the love I thought I had for him, there is very minimum, if any feelings left. However, I do want him back for about one more night of sex, then I want to turn around and dump him. I know it sounds psycho, but I won't rest until I get an apology and I get to dump him. Also, I used to think his sex was the best in the world until I just recently went out to get me some from an older flame. It's about the same, so I'm no longer obsessed with his sex. Plus, last night, I went to read his Facebook profile and things do not seem to be going pretty well with him going back to NYC. He was talking about something about feeling endangered. I don't know if it sounds evil, but I felt glad that he felt bad and nothing overly too good because I think he doesn't deserve even a little bit of happiness after what he had done to me. Has anyone ever wanted to get an ex back just to get revenge? Also, have you ever been ever-so-happy that your ex's life wasn't going so great compared to your own? I'm just trying to figure out if I'm being overly evil.
may_girl Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 (edited) I believe this feeling is completely normal. But just remember, it is just about the ego boost. Don't crave or desire these emotions for too long, and certainly don't hold on to achieving control. Because as the dumpee, the chances of you obtaining it are very rare and it can take over many aspects of your life. The best way you can regain control is by controlling yourself. Live your life well, maintain NC, and realize this is simply a feeling that will soon pass. You just need to remain strong, independent and happy in your own life without needing to constantly need reassurance that he isn't doing so great. Remember - success is the best revenge. Edited August 10, 2013 by may_girl
StandardToaster895 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Sounds like you just want to be in control of your emotions, which I understand perfectly right now. I'm going through the same thing. All I can say is ask yourself seriously, would being in control or whatever make you really feel better? Would it make you a better person? Would it make you that much happier to have revenge? What will that accomplish? Live and let live! Maybe he'll learn from his problems in NYC and come back to you a better, improved man! It's possible so don't try to dream about ****ting on him.
Author Charym88 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 Sounds like you just want to be in control of your emotions, which I understand perfectly right now. I'm going through the same thing. All I can say is ask yourself seriously, would being in control or whatever make you really feel better? Would it make you a better person? Would it make you that much happier to have revenge? What will that accomplish? Live and let live! Maybe he'll learn from his problems in NYC and come back to you a better, improved man! It's possible so don't try to dream about ****ting on him. I doubt very highly he would come back to me way in a hot Texas to come back and be with me after this new baby he had and the pressure from his family to marry his child's mother. I will just have to wait until she leaves him, because she will just keep pursuing him until time's end, because she is desperate.
JDPT Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Sure- we all had those thoughts. I used to think of winning my ex back and make her fall in love with me so madly and deeply all over again for me to just drop her. But reality is that I would be causing myself more pain, it's best to let go off anger and resentment it does absolutely nothing for your recovery.
Author Charym88 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 Sure- we all had those thoughts. I used to think of winning my ex back and make her fall in love with me so madly and deeply all over again for me to just drop her. But reality is that I would be causing myself more pain, it's best to let go off anger and resentment it does absolutely nothing for your recovery. Well, if I can't drop his behind, I at least want him to apologize or something. If that doesn't work, I want his child's mother to leave him high and dry. Not so I can get him back, but so he can hurt like I did. If that doesn't work, I hope he never finds a job in NYC since he claims that was the reason he moved to TX with me (according to what he told his child's mother after he returned). If that doesn't work, I hope child support makes him live forever in poverty since he is already paying child support for one. He now has a daughter. I hope he has a third child and forever stay broke.
JDPT Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Well, if I can't drop his behind, I at least want him to apologize or something. If that doesn't work, I want his child's mother to leave him high and dry. Not so I can get him back, but so he can hurt like I did. If that doesn't work, I hope he never finds a job in NYC since he claims that was the reason he moved to TX with me (according to what he told his child's mother after he returned). If that doesn't work, I hope child support makes him live forever in poverty since he is already paying child support for one. He now has a daughter. I hope he has a third child and forever stay broke. OH I felt like you and perhaps still at times. Believe me if I wanted to be vicious I could really cause my ex a lot of trouble. However, you need to find forgiveness and peace within yourself. You can start by forgiving him for all the pain he is/has caused you and you can also forgive yourself for the decisions made in the past. And find peace within you, you will notice as you start letting go of anger, revenge, resentment you will gradually make room to focus on you and start properly healing, otherwise this anger will always linger. I used to say to myself "I forgive you for causing me all this pain, I also thank you for it as it has helped me be a better man..." turn it around and make it work in your favor, it will start feeling better in time.
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