zodiark11 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 (edited) Hello guys. Just thought of sharing my story here. Me and my ex (I guess) are 22, I just went through a break up two weeks ago and I don't know if I'm too sensitive, this hurts a lot than I expected. I even ashamed of myself looking at some of my friends went break up and still have a huge smile and posting happy stuffs on facebook. After my break up (19 months dating of LDR), I read some stuffs of what and what not to do at this phase. I figured I should go that NC thing but I'm still not sure. I met my girlfriend from an online game back in early 2011. She was with her dick boyfriend (LDR as well), joined back the game and we all meet up. But after few weeks, it's so quick that she thinks of me as best friend and I'm happy as well because I thought I have one more best friend that will care about me for a long run. I'm happy because I don't have a single person or a friend I'm comfortable talking about anything (Relationship, family issue). One day we messing around in facebook, we posted each other on the timeline saying I love you. We didn't mean it that time and it upsets her ex. She argued with him and I simply back off with full respect. Then after few days, they met up for the first time and things doesn't seem to be that fantastic because of what happened. She told me too that they met up, kissed and touched for a little. And that's it. After the meetup, that boy went missing again and left her missing like crazy. I was still her friend that time and as a friend, I get so upset too. At this point, during mid 2011, I told her to forget that guy. She explained too that they've been together like this for 2 years. Their relationship goes on and off, more off with him being missing most of the time. To make it short, I had hard time convincing her but I did eventually, and came the unexpected. On November 2011, I had my own problems and it became an eye opener that I have someone that I can have chance (I was desperately looking for love for the last 21 years of my life, none has shown up). I realize she could be perfect, she's just my type and beautiful. I didn't expect her to have feelings towards me as well and we start to confess each other slowly. This time, she was unsure because she's afraid to get hurt like her relationship from her stupid ex. I was afraid too because I would be another disappointment to her. So that time, on Christmas Eve, we fell in love and dated in long distance. All the way until recently, on May 2013 she started her degree and it's just an hour away drive from her ex. She told me that she saw him most of the time at one particular mall, we didn't have problem with that. But after a while, she broke up with me. She didn't tell the reason right away but it's because she wanted to try to get back with him once again, despite whatever will happen. I was mad, i fought back but I given up hope at some point. Then after that day, she called and saying she was wrong and it's not right, I was right, so we got back together. THen just recently, I became desperate, clingy, just completely foolish. I needed her attention because I'm having a serious depression because of my family issue. I needed her, but she distant herself towards me and it adds oil to the fire. One day, which is two weeeks ago, she texted me this isn't going to work out. I fell again, heartbroken. This time she says that she needed a space to breathe, I understand that this is my fault. Another reason is, she doesn't know what she wants. She says she made up her mind of forgetting her ex, but not sure if it's the right thing to do. She told me she love me, really and it's just that things were dull. She also says that she's tired I don't know what the hell does that mean. I'm really frustrated, tired and confused. I swear I did some stuffs too, making her 3d card, send her letter and a ring just for fun. We met up ocassionally like for a week every two months, do happy things, made love etc. I swear to God, women are so confusing. I have explained to her that her ex is a biggest scumbag and disrespect her all the time. She knows what I told her before in the past about her ex. She's having a mixed feelings and wanted to stay like this for a while. I'm tired of this and I want to go NC for a while, at least until she realize what is it like to be dumped instead, but I'll reply to her if she needs me the most and I'll set to not saying too much. Yes, I do still love her like my own daughter but I'm so tired of this crap. I know I need to move on, hang out and do something but where I am living is so limited. I'm in a college where not even one person would hang out with me, there's just no places to go around here and it's killing me too. So, guys. I should do NC or LC? I'm thinking LC but I set myself to not say too much, if she need me because I promised her that. If it's just a silly stuff, I'll take my sweet time to reply. She also says she still cares and miss me sometimes and want to be friends. In the mean time, I'm trying to just occupy myself, doing leftover assignments, making foam costumes I've been trying to do for months. I don't have much friends so I don't mind to meet some strangers around the world to chat with me Sorry if this post is so long, but I appreciate the time taken to read and reply. God bless you all Edited August 10, 2013 by zodiark11 2
HopelessRomantick Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Zodiark, I had LDR with someone living in the Philippines. I live in NJ, USA. It was almost 3 years long. We were BFF's too. She broke it off with me last July 2012 and she begged me for 2 things. 1. continue to always be her BFF. 2. maintain communication. I agreed to both. 13 months later, I am still heart broken and struggling. I just said goodbye to her last week. Told her I am a complete package. She either gets all of me or none of me. Agreeing to those 2 things was a major mistake!!!!! I should have cut her off the day she BU with me. I know I could have saved myself time in being in pain. You cannot be friends, you already said it upsets you to be her friend. GO NC NOW! if it's meant to be, she will be back. If not you will have moved on and won't even care. 2
Author zodiark11 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 Zodiark, I had LDR with someone living in the Philippines. I live in NJ, USA. It was almost 3 years long. We were BFF's too. She broke it off with me last July 2012 and she begged me for 2 things. 1. continue to always be her BFF. 2. maintain communication. I agreed to both. 13 months later, I am still heart broken and struggling. I just said goodbye to her last week. Told her I am a complete package. She either gets all of me or none of me. Agreeing to those 2 things was a major mistake!!!!! I should have cut her off the day she BU with me. I know I could have saved myself time in being in pain. You cannot be friends, you already said it upsets you to be her friend. GO NC NOW! if it's meant to be, she will be back. If not you will have moved on and won't even care. That sucks :/ I'm sorry to hear that man. I actually tried to, she tried to as well but my willpower is so weak. I'll do my best to NC, hopefully she'll saw the light that I am right. I just hope I got something else to do at this limited world I am living right now. Hope it goes well for you, my friend! Good luck. 1
HopelessRomantick Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 That sucks :/ I'm sorry to hear that man. I actually tried to, she tried to as well but my willpower is so weak. I'll do my best to NC, hopefully she'll saw the light that I am right. I just hope I got something else to do at this limited world I am living right now. Hope it goes well for you, my friend! Good luck. Thanks and good luck to you too. See you around here...
StandardToaster895 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 If you can't completely cut off contact, at least have the strength to limit your contact, and make sure you don't say anything emotional or anything like that. 1
jesse93 Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Our stories are kind of similar in how we met our gfs, I'm not sure what game it was but i met my current ex through a game also she also had an ******* boyfriend at the time and i helped her get through that we then became best friends, and we started to fall for each other 3 almost 4 years later it ended she also told me she wanted to be my friend, she said I am one of her best friends and she would like to talk still, i went 1 week NC and i ended up contacting her because one of my friends that knows her told me she missed me and wanted me to text her, so I did thinking that i would have a chance to win her back, we then talked for about 1 and a half weeks now as friends, and I'm going to say that it is super hard to be "friends" with someone you love, every night i wanted to tell her i miss her and that I love her, but I can't because that isn't what she wants. I did enjoy talking to her its nice still having her in my life but at the end of the night the pain is too much, it hurts me to much knowing that she is trying to move on and i'm here hoping that I can win her back. I'm now on day 2 NC again. My point is that I don't suggest you being friends with her, because that love won't go away magically it will be there but you won't be able to express it because you are only "friends" it hurts a lot, the only time i would consider becoming friends with her is when you feel your feelings for her have gone for the most part, you don't want to end up in the friendzone with a girl you love trust me, it hurts. 3
HopelessRomantick Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Our stories are kind of similar in how we met our gfs, I'm not sure what game it was but i met my current ex through a game also she also had an ******* boyfriend at the time and i helped her get through that we then became best friends, and we started to fall for each other 3 almost 4 years later it ended she also told me she wanted to be my friend, she said I am one of her best friends and she would like to talk still, i went 1 week NC and i ended up contacting her because one of my friends that knows her told me she missed me and wanted me to text her, so I did thinking that i would have a chance to win her back, we then talked for about 1 and a half weeks now as friends, and I'm going to say that it is super hard to be "friends" with someone you love, every night i wanted to tell her i miss her and that I love her, but I can't because that isn't what she wants. I did enjoy talking to her its nice still having her in my life but at the end of the night the pain is too much, it hurts me to much knowing that she is trying to move on and i'm here hoping that I can win her back. I'm now on day 2 NC again. My point is that I don't suggest you being friends with her, because that love won't go away magically it will be there but you won't be able to express it because you are only "friends" it hurts a lot, the only time i would consider becoming friends with her is when you feel your feelings for her have gone for the most part, you don't want to end up in the friendzone with a girl you love trust me, it hurts. well said Jessie.
Author zodiark11 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 I'm on my week 3 after the break up and I managed to tune down my expectations. So far, I'm doing just fine doing LC. Time will tell how it goes. Thank you guys for the support, really appreciated! All the best to everybody Meanwhile, I'll swing by this site sometime when I'm free
Recommended Posts