Tomthetiger Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 The question is... Why do they (dumpers) hate us (dumpees) like they never cared? One day they do adore you and next day they hate you.. I dont understand it at all. PS. "us" who never did anything bad them at all... Just cared too much:cool: Have a nice day folks!
Charym88 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I'm in the same boat. He claimed I treated him like trash, but I don't understand how when I basically fed him, helped him look for a job and helped him with school work. He just up and left like he never cared at all. He has this notion in his head that I never loved him when I showed him on countless occasions. I guess they will really need someone to treat them like trash in order for them to see. Anything worth having is worth measuring.
Legatus Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Hating us makes them feel better and gives them false impression of relief. They think they are strongholds that can break with anyone, get into another relationship fast, but in reality they would be shattered if someone did to them what they did themselves. It's very sad when I think about it. I was told that I'm pathetic, that she was ashamed of me because I still wanted to get to the bottom of things et cetera. At first it bugged me but then I thought "Are you kidding?". I handled the break-up like nobody from my friends, or even their friends. I realized some people do not have ability to learn from advice. That's why I know now that she will learn only when someone does the same thing to her. Not a minute sooner.. Let them hate us. I don't give a flying monkey 1
PootieMandela Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Hating us makes them feel better and gives them false impression of relief. They think they are strongholds that can break with anyone, get into another relationship fast, but in reality they would be shattered if someone did to them what they did themselves. It's very sad when I think about it. Very well said. 1
JDPT Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 (edited) It's tough to determine why they "hate us" if you ask me, they don't or maybe I just stopping putting effort towards trying to figure out what occurred and this comes from a dumpee's perspective. After my ex decided to dump me through e-mail and then had the slightest decency to call me she went off on me on the phone, a side of her I've never seen, F U this F U that, leave me the F alone. I pumped the breaks on her very quickly and essentially told her to "watch her mouth, you are no longer in a position where you can talk to me that way..." So yeah, that may appear as she hating me no? In any event, it was a mere confirmation that the relationship was over and if that was the person she really was then I wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. Hate means you care, and I don't hate her. Focus on yourself, you will be ok. Edited August 10, 2013 by JDPT
Hoaks Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 In my case, i think my ex wants me to believe she hates me, so i can move on quicker. I know she cant hate me, i did nothing wrong to her. But its ultimately about them, she will feel better thinking i am moving on from her faster.
JDPT Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 In my case, i think my ex wants me to believe she hates me, so i can move on quicker. I know she cant hate me, i did nothing wrong to her. But its ultimately about them, she will feel better thinking i am moving on from her faster. Bingo! it's all a façade. My ex essentially treated me like crap as if we were never anything, however, that didn't bother me at all as we were both on the same page I just didn't get as emotional as she did. In any case, it's irrelevant how she felt or is feeling now, its all about you and your recovery journey.
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