JMA707 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Hi all, Me and my ex gf broke up a couple weeks ago. After a bit of NC we began spending time together and when we do she acts as if we are still a couple. The other day I told her I wanted complete honesty and she admitted that she has a "thing" for her best guy friend whom she has known for years. She said she didn't love the guy but she does feel something for him. She said she really did love me but she wants to see if her relationship with this other guy could go past being just friends. She said she really did want to be with me in the long run but she had "unfinished business". In her own words she said "one moment I want you, the other I think about him." I told her that if she chose the other guy I'd wish her happiness but I wouldn't want to be in her life at that point. She said she didn't want to lose me like that but i told her she can't have her cake and eat it too. She said our status is that we're "dating". Right now the other guy is gone for two weeks so in really wondering what's going to happen when he gets back? Is she just going to ditch me to hang out with him? She said that nothing could even come from this other guy but this entire situation feels wrong. She said she wouldn't use me or anything but I can't help but feel that way. Ive never quite been in a situation like this. Does anyone know what I should do..? I don't have anyone I can talk to about something like this so thank you to anyone reads this.
Author JMA707 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 Haha good response. I told her to just go date that other guy or do whatever because I didn't even want to deal with it anymore. I'm just confused because even after all that crap I am really pissed off but I find myself still wanting to be with her.
Knoxpwns Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Unfinished business? Seriously? Implying business was started? Dude, unless you really want to be a girl's silver medal (and I'm going to assume you're a pretty good guy and deserve way better) then I'd make the choice for her and bail. If it works out with him, you're toast. You're a safety net. If she wanted to be with you she wouldn't be going for him. I know you can feel it in your gut dude. You can feel this is all wrong but you don't want to trust it. I've felt that and it hits us all the same. I'd get out, dude.
Balzac Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 That "wanting to be with her" feeling will evaporate. As you wrap your mind around her putting you into the backup dude zone. You want to be a girl's first and only man. Your exGF has coughed up every lame excuse in the book but wasn't woman enough to tell you straight up - it's over. Move on. The nagging desires you feel will vaporize.
Author JMA707 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 Thanks guys yeah I know I need to trust my gut on this one. I even told her I didn't wanna be a second option an she tried to say I wasn't but I don't trust anything she says anymore. I just have conflicting emotions about her so it makes it hard but I know what I need I do. Thanks again guys
Balzac Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 At this point, when her lips are moving - she's telling you lies. Don't over think this. Her goal with regard to you is "keep him hanging on". Uh N E X T.
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