Jenny1234 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I just got home from a casual date and when I was looking across the table all I thought was "wow I really wish my ex was sitting on the other side" We were together 3 years. Breakup was 3 months ago I'm the dumpee.. I am trying so hard but I just miss him. All I can do is push forward and give other guys and myself a chance. I found the whole thing sad but yet still could laugh for a second about it. Atleast I know I've made some progress. A few months ago I would have been in tears! Just another Friday night in the single world for me! 3
Speakingofwhich Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 One step in front of the other......one day you'll look across the table, it won't be ex and you'll be glad! 1
Heysimon Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I just did the same thing myself, wasnt dinner but same premise, broke down afterwards.... lol I hate love... 1
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 I just did the same thing myself, wasnt dinner but same premise, broke down afterwards.... lol I hate love... It sucks...somedays I still feel like I'm gonna wake up from this all and it was just a nightmare :(no such luck Must press forward 1
Kant Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 The worst part is how cruel it makes you feel. You watch them build you up in there minds, sparking with the possibility of maybe sleeping with you? Being with you? all the possibilities... (which is normal when you don't have baggage). And all the time you know its not going to go any wear no matter how lovely they are ... because there just not him and its not the same. 1
Chris715 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 The worst part is how cruel it makes you feel. You watch them build you up in there minds, sparking with the possibility of maybe sleeping with you? Being with you? all the possibilities... (which is normal when you don't have baggage). And all the time you know its not going to go any wear no matter how lovely they are ... because there just not him and its not the same. This is why I haven't dated since my ex broke up with me. Feels really pointless when I'm still hung up on her
Scarlett5 Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Three months isn't long - why try and rush into something else? Have some single time and allow yourself to move forward emotionally without relying on another guy to get you there. Get to know yourself and develop your independence as a single woman.
Author Jenny1234 Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 I guess... I feel like sole people on here view 3 months at an eternity. Not me. I'm clearly struggling
keepontruckin Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I guess... I feel like sole people on here view 3 months at an eternity. Not me. I'm clearly struggling Three months is nothing, really. I'm at four months as the dumpee, and as much as I want to "fill that void," I clearly know that it wouldn't be fair to me, and especially to a date, if I come to the table with baggage... 1
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 It's important to realise that filling an emotional gap with a dysfunctional desire is really nor filling the gap at all. You have to keep away from dating others, and solidly remain single until you actually look forward to the mystery of dating someone new. You don't NEED someone in your life to be a whole person. Sure, you'd LIKE someone...but it's not a necessary pre-requisite.... You need to grow to love yourselves precisely the way you are. Quit comparisons, quit 'if only's, quit gap-filling. If you're going to fill a gap - YOU fill it. Look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself, "I'm going to make today great, for myself! Where shall I start?" Be the person you would kill to date, if you were opposite yourself. Become marvellous. You already are, but you just need to peel off that sunken you, and emerge that much stronger. And only you, can do that, for yourselves. How much you want to, is up to you. Do you want to move on, or do you want to keep wallowing for some time yet? Feeling sorry for yourself is all very well, but after a while, you realise the only person 'in that place', is you. Everything else is still buzzin' on as normal. Don't get left behind. Accelerate, catch up, and sprint. It will feel so much better than it does, now. 3
keepontruckin Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Tara gives good advice. It is only once you don't care anymore, is when magical things can and will happen. And it will happen when you least expect it. The only time I have ever met good people, was when I actually wasn't looking, and was happy enough with myself to not actually care if I met them or not. A good example of this is going to the club every night, looking for love. For all intents and purposes, it just doesn't work for anything long term. It is where you least expect it, is where you will find it. It cannot be rushed, and baggage must be disposed of...
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