Bonesz Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Ok so my gf tried out for this activity called drum corps about 1 year ago. It's like a professional marching band circuit that competes over the summer. These drum corps tour around the nation and compete with each other. When you turn 21, you're no longer eligible to participate... Well anyways, 1 year ago, she auditioned for a corps, got a spot, and then went home in the early season out of homesickness. Honestly, I tried my hardest to convince her not to leave because she would regret it... But she still did... And now she regrets it... A lot. That was her last chance to be a part of the activity and it was her dream since she was 14. So I can understand how this hurts... But now it's been a year and she's still depressed about it. And I mean like I said I understand why, but for an entire year, I've been her shoulder to cry on (literally) just about every single day. So I mean it's gotten to the point where I'm thinking "Ok, well it's time to move on. Life goes on". I mean I'm really not an ass about it. I mean do I blame her? Yes I do, because I tried extremely hard to convince her not to quit. But at the same time, it's in the past and there's no use rubbing it in her face. But literally NOTHING I say will make her feel better. When I try to tell her to be strong and put it in the past, she takes it like I just don't want to listen to her and I'm tired of hearing it... But at the same time, giving her pity for the past year hasn't made her feel better either. I'm really frustrated and I don't know what to do, or what she expects me to do. She always tells me "I need time to fix it", but every time I talk to her, it's just tears about how she failed... And lately she told me that she doesn't know what to do, because if she marries me, she knows she's not going to be able to just ignore it. Which is true. I'm a huge fanatic about the activity and I'm not going to stop going to shows and I'm probably going to teach in the activity later on... I told her that it's her choice whether she wants to be strong and put it behind her, or just not marry me. That might have made things worse. I really don't know what to do guys. I'm really frustrated and I've tried every single approach to this. I love her to death and I want to help her, but I really don't know what to do.
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You have a real problem with this girl. I think you're investing too much in something you're actually obsessing about.... You posted about this same issue on June 4th; You're also concerned she's 'using sex' in the wrong way; , and you have questioned the level of your own affection for her. This is a recipe for disaster, and really far too much like hard work. You can't fix her, so quit trying to find solutions for everything.... I think you need to call it a day....
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