It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Hopeful, You and your boyfriend started a relationship while he was with someone else. That is a bad way to start off, partly because you know he is capable of cheating. Right? While this is common, it also can indicate a couple of not great things. Like he may have a tendency to want what he doesn't have (GIGS), or he could be innately a cheater, or he could still have feelings for her that he is recalling now that you two are together, or he could feel guilty, there could be several things. They were together a long time. It is possible he still has feelings for her, it's probably smart of you to realize he does, whether he intends to take action on those feelings or not. What you do with that depends on how secure you feel. Can you be the one he talks to about his guilt and his love for her? He may be trying to digest it, but doesn't want to hurt you. Of course he could be having regrets, and that also could be painful for you too. It might be best to ignore, for now. Because if its just working through his feelings it should stop soon. If he doesn't stop then you will have to decide if you want to confront. Good luck. 1
Angry bird Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Hopeful, Sweetheart, you are in denial. Something ain't right, you know it. It seems that you will need to learn through experience. You know what they say...experience is the best teacher.
Angry bird Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 His ex said things like: - I refuse to be compared to her (me). - I want to be with you but I don't trust you and I never will trust you again. - Stop contacting me until I am over you. Honestly, I think my ex was confused as to who he wanted and he was seriously debating going back to his ex. But after she said the bolded above statement, he realized he couldn't go back to what it was. He often told me that trust was the one thing that was so important to him (how ironic), and I think the fact she said she'd never trust him again made him just come back to me. I really think if she was willing to take him back with open arms, he would have gone back. And I didn't find out all of this until we were together for 3 years. Ignorance is bliss. When I finally found out I went from being in love with him to completely despising him. I resented him, I was always angry at him, disgusted, I hated him. I gave him that second chance because we had been through so much but honestly after that I never trusted him again, and the relationship was done 7-8 months later. When that trust is broken, if the person who broke that trust isn't able/willing to work their arse off to restore it. It's usually a done deal.
Author hopefulinlove Posted August 11, 2013 Author Posted August 11, 2013 Oh lord. I suppose a lot of waiting is in order. I shall remain a loyal, supportive and loving girlfrriend for the time being until or unless something changes. Thank you for your input guys
Recommended Posts