tryingtobehopeful Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 So here's the deal...I met my boyfriend online and we were both surprised at how well we "fit". The first two months of our relationships were amazing, he was sweet and reassuring, and wanted to spend time with me and talked about the future. And then one day something just flipped...he stopped initiating contact as much, stopped saying nice things, started acting distant, would barely commit to something 2 days in the future let alone 2 weeks. And I'm a pretty intuitive person so I picked up on everything and asked him in a calm mature way, if everything was ok and if he was still happy. He immediately got defensive and basically in the end made me feel guilty for having doubts and questioning anything. So I tried to let it go. But nothing changed, still cold (which he said he's always been "cold" since he was a kid...it's how he was raised), still distant, I felt like I was walking on eggshells and couldn't really be myself. I even found myself getting excited if he would lean over and give me a kiss. But it was killing me inside, so I tried to end it. And he started crying saying he couldn't live without me and he loves me and we just need to take things slow and enjoy our time and see what happens, and we both need to stop over thinking everything. But I should have known that things wouldn't just flip on a dime, but I love him so I got sucked back in. Anyway surprise surprise nothing changed. He said the more I tried to "push feelings out of him" the less he cared about me. That he felt like we were just friends sometimes...but then would flip and say I'm the best girlfriend he's ever had and if he can't make it work with me he won't be able to make it work with anyone... Anyway, this is dragging on...sorry But I hit my breaking point and broke up with him (over the phone cause I knew in person he'd try to convince me otherwise). And he was very emotional and said he'd always love me and he just couldn't give me what I deserve and that he just needs to let me go and be happy. Then at the end he said "why don't you take some time to think for a few days, you know how I feel". A week has passed and I've been in contact because he's got a set of keys to my condo that I need back. But now he's making it out like everything is my fault! That he never wanted to break up and didn't think our issues were ever that big. But that now he needs time to recover and get his life back and that he can't see me or talk to me for awhile. I just feel like he's been manipulating me from the beginning and it hasn't stopped. I guess I should just walk away and forget about my things that he has..it seems to be a link that he's trying to hold onto. Thoughts? I know I deserve better than that...
Lei Ping Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 So here's the deal...I met my boyfriend online and we were both surprised at how well we "fit". The first two months of our relationships were amazing, he was sweet and reassuring, and wanted to spend time with me and talked about the future. And then one day something just flipped...he stopped initiating contact as much, stopped saying nice things, started acting distant, would barely commit to something 2 days in the future let alone 2 weeks. And I'm a pretty intuitive person so I picked up on everything and asked him in a calm mature way, if everything was ok and if he was still happy. He immediately got defensive and basically in the end made me feel guilty for having doubts and questioning anything. So I tried to let it go. But nothing changed, still cold (which he said he's always been "cold" since he was a kid...it's how he was raised), still distant, I felt like I was walking on eggshells and couldn't really be myself. I even found myself getting excited if he would lean over and give me a kiss. But it was killing me inside, so I tried to end it. And he started crying saying he couldn't live without me and he loves me and we just need to take things slow and enjoy our time and see what happens, and we both need to stop over thinking everything. But I should have known that things wouldn't just flip on a dime, but I love him so I got sucked back in. Anyway surprise surprise nothing changed. He said the more I tried to "push feelings out of him" the less he cared about me. That he felt like we were just friends sometimes...but then would flip and say I'm the best girlfriend he's ever had and if he can't make it work with me he won't be able to make it work with anyone... Anyway, this is dragging on...sorry But I hit my breaking point and broke up with him (over the phone cause I knew in person he'd try to convince me otherwise). And he was very emotional and said he'd always love me and he just couldn't give me what I deserve and that he just needs to let me go and be happy. Then at the end he said "why don't you take some time to think for a few days, you know how I feel". A week has passed and I've been in contact because he's got a set of keys to my condo that I need back. But now he's making it out like everything is my fault! That he never wanted to break up and didn't think our issues were ever that big. But that now he needs time to recover and get his life back and that he can't see me or talk to me for awhile. I just feel like he's been manipulating me from the beginning and it hasn't stopped. I guess I should just walk away and forget about my things that he has..it seems to be a link that he's trying to hold onto. Thoughts? I know I deserve better than that... I'm not going to say anything here. Read your bolded statements and advise yourself.
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