365daysgone Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I am 24 and lack all confidence. But I am sitting in a small mall strip right now in central Ontario Canada. I just seen the most stunning woman (about 28 years old) walk in to the mall. She went into the LCBO. I am just sitting on the bench and when she came out I was looking but trying not to be obvious. She was approaching the door and smiled at me an I very lightly smile back. Anyways, I was thinking to myself after she left "I wonder how she would have reacted if I had of just stood up and said 'Hi...I think you are absolutely gorgeous' without breaking eyes contact and then just sat back down". So thats my question. How many girls would react positively to this? What percentage?
New User Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I am 24 and lack all confidence. But I am sitting in a small mall strip right now in central Ontario Canada. I just seen the most stunning woman (about 28 years old) walk in to the mall. She went into the LCBO. I am just sitting on the bench and when she came out I was looking but trying not to be obvious. She was approaching the door and smiled at me an I very lightly smile back. Anyways, I was thinking to myself after she left "I wonder how she would have reacted if I had of just stood up and said 'Hi...I think you are absolutely gorgeous' without breaking eyes contact and then just sat back down". So thats my question. How many girls would react positively to this? What percentage? I can only say that I've never had a woman react negatively to telling her she's beautiful. 5
LBean Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I think you're safe with this one, can't see this getting many negative responses.
New User Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You would probably get maced. Not likely. I never have and I've done exactly that. This isn't to say that anything is likely to come of it, just that the worst that is probably going to happen is an awkward moment or two. It really isn't that big of a deal unless the woman you say it to is either BSC or extremely defensive. 1
eddyctv Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Sometimes you just gotta say YOLO and go for it...
Lansing Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 For those that don't know, an LCBO is a liquor store. I would say to try to get over that "approach anxiety" and just talk to people in general and talk to pretty women. You should maybe get yourself in situations where you need to interact with them. Maybe volunteer at some organizations where you are dealing with crowds/customers/etc. I am sure she would have said "thank you" at least. I can't imagine a bad response coming out of it (not like she would say "wow, you are amazing, can we go grab a coffee" either) 3
nescafe1982 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I would think it was charming as long as the compliment wasn't "cat-call"ish. But you'll need to follow up with more material, not walking away. Try introducing yourself.
sillyanswer Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 What percentage? While you're waiting for answers, I'm pretty sure that she won't respond with an open question, so what are you going to say next?
bentleychic Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I randomly compliment people often (whether it's hair, eyes, clothes, jewelry, cute kids, etc.) and I have NEVER gotten a negative response. I'm a girl, though. I mostly compliment girls. (I'm straight, ftr.) 4
New User Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I would think it was charming as long as the compliment wasn't "cat-call"ish. But you'll need to follow up with more material, not walking away. Try introducing yourself. I may be wrong, but I think that OP is looking at this as much as a confidence building exercise as anything. This is essentially the exact approach a friend of mine took to get over his nervousness around women and it worked wonders- no expectations= no rejection and no bruised ego. I'm not saying that trying to take it further is a bad idea, just that even simple interactions like this if responded to with either a "thank you" or a smile can go a tremendous way towards building the confidence to talk to strangers in someone who has a problem doing it. 5
Author 365daysgone Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 I may be wrong, but I think that OP is looking at this as much as a confidence building exercise as anything. This is essentially the exact approach a friend of mine took to get over his nervousness around women and it worked wonders- no expectations= no rejection and no bruised ego. I'm not saying that trying to take it further is a bad idea, just that even simple interactions like this if responded to with either a "thank you" or a smile can go a tremendous way towards building the confidence to talk to strangers in someone who has a problem doing it. You are correct. I am working on overcoming social anxiety and I realize it is much worse with girls my age as opposed to just anyone that I do not know very well.
New User Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You are correct. I am working on overcoming social anxiety and I realize it is much worse with girls my age as opposed to just anyone that I do not know very well. I wish you well with that. I'd suggest maybe starting with just simple a "hello" or if you notice something about the person that piques your interest, ask them about it (cool shoes, weird shirt, extraneous third arm- whatever). But whatever you bring up should not be something negative or that they may consider a defect (which, going back to the previous examples would probably mean not commenting on the extraneous third arm- if they've got four that's ok because it's symmetrical). Basically, what I mean is that the best thing to complement a stranger on is something benign, non-personal, and not crass. Anyway, good luck. 1
nescafe1982 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You are correct. I am working on overcoming social anxiety and I realize it is much worse with girls my age as opposed to just anyone that I do not know very well. In that case, go for it! "You're beautiful" is nice to hear and it's unlikely to backfire. Just stay away from anything that could be sexually connoted and you'll get lots of charmed ladies and nice smiles. Once I was drinking a glass of wine on my front porch, enjoying the evening, when a young man rode by on a bicycle. "I'd SO marry you," he called out and then disappeared around the corner. That genuinely made my day. 3
Woggle Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I randomly compliment people often (whether it's hair, eyes, clothes, jewelry, cute kids, etc.) and I have NEVER gotten a negative response. I'm a girl, though. I mostly compliment girls. (I'm straight, ftr.) This is different. Most men will get maced just for smiling at a woman. 1
iKING Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I randomly compliment people often (whether it's hair, eyes, clothes, jewelry, cute kids, etc.) and I have NEVER gotten a negative response. I'm a girl, though. I mostly compliment girls. (I'm straight, ftr.) Agreed. I compliment women on their outfits, shoes, hair, and being pretty in normal every day scenarios and usually I get cute little blushes and smiles in return. And guys on their clothes sometimes too. You're just giving her a compliment, and It's a proper one.
curlygirl40 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I'm sure she would have been complimented, what woman doesn't like to hear they are beautiful? I've had that happen before where a guy walked up to me on his way out of a bar and simply said to me 'I think you're the most beautiful woman in this place tonight' and then he WALKED OUT. He didn't introduce himself or try to pick me up or stay for a nanosecond even. He left the place and didn't come back. I was complimented. He might have been drunk of course but I was with a group of girlfriends and thought it was brave and sweet. And if you are doing it to increase your confidence and get used to approaching, what have you got to lose really? 3
New User Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 This is different. Most men will get maced just for smiling at a woman. Obvious troll is obvious. 2
veggirl Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 I think she would be flattered. "you're hot!" is annoying and obnoxious but what you were thinking is flattering. I had a guy stop me in the street like a week ago and he said "you look fantastic. your man, if you have one is a lucky guy" and I was smiling for hours! Something like that is SO much more appreciated than cat-calling, whistling, honking, etc. The difference is one seems genuine/more innocuous and one is very sexual and kinda aggressive. 5
CrystalCastles Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Obvious troll is obvious. I second that. Maybe crazies will mace you, but normal people won't. Ooh I'd love a compliment like that! It's always nice to hear that. Go for it!
sillyanswer Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 This is different. Most men will get maced just for smiling at a woman. Don't be ridiculous, Woggle.
FitChick Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 When I am complimented I just say, "Thank you," which is the polite thing to do. Women who don't are bitches and you don't need them.
Woggle Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Obvious troll is obvious. I am not a troll. These days if I were single I wouldn't even look at women in public out of fear of being maced or arrested.
runningfar Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 Truly just the compliment? Would be sweet. I would say think you. But I have had people say the same type of words in a tone or with body language that had me feel dirty, not complimented. In those cases I've just walked away, or mumbled thanks and walked away. This has nothing ot do with the guys looks or anything about him except HOW he says it and WHAT he does surrounding it... but leering or in one case a little bit of following before... makes me feel a little threatened even though the words are nice. (And yes, conventionally good looking guys have fallen into the making me uncomfortable and guys who I do not find attractive in the least in the former, compliment, category. I only mention it because I don't know you and it you're typically awkward around women you might want to watch that you don't do those things surrounding the compliment. Though, regardless of how I felt I wouldn't respond with anything negative.
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted August 10, 2013 Posted August 10, 2013 In that case, go for it! "You're beautiful" is nice to hear and it's unlikely to backfire. Just stay away from anything that could be sexually connoted and you'll get lots of charmed ladies and nice smiles. Once I was drinking a glass of wine on my front porch, enjoying the evening, when a young man rode by on a bicycle. "I'd SO marry you," he called out and then disappeared around the corner. That genuinely made my day. I'm sure she would have been complimented, what woman doesn't like to hear they are beautiful? I've had that happen before where a guy walked up to me on his way out of a bar and simply said to me 'I think you're the most beautiful woman in this place tonight' and then he WALKED OUT. He didn't introduce himself or try to pick me up or stay for a nanosecond even. He left the place and didn't come back. I was complimented. He might have been drunk of course but I was with a group of girlfriends and thought it was brave and sweet. And if you are doing it to increase your confidence and get used to approaching, what have you got to lose really? I was in a gas station a few weeks ago and this guy walked past me after paying at the window, then doubled back and said in a heavy accent "Excuse me miss, but you are very beautiful," tipped his hat (literally) and walked right out. It was the highlight of my day. No leering, no eyes roving up and down my body, no "You're hot!" just a short, sweet compliment with NO ill intent or PUA tactics. The smile he put on my face lasted for the rest of the day. No it didn't upset me and no I wasn't about to mace him. It was just a nice thing to do. I wish more people paid this kind of thing forward as I try to. Sometimes a random compliment from a perfect stranger with no ulterior motives can really make someone's day, and who knows, maybe open up the door for more. LOL I'm noticing a trend here. OP, recognize that this is a good way to build your confidence, but this is generally not a good way to meet women (and is ultimately a waste of time). As the women here have described, they only like it because it give THEM an ego boost. Doing this kind of thing as a way of getting dates, again as many women described here, will be considered "creepy" and "PUA". Why do you think so few guys do this to women? Because it doesn't work. As I said though, it's a good way to start approaching women. I'd say do it for a few days, then give set your goals higher (having longer conversations, getting her phone number, etc). Also, you won't get maced for approaching a woman. I've made thousands of approaches and the worst I've gotten was a nasty response.
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