Lansing Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Just wondering how you guys/girls deal with it if you start feeling "nervous" on a date... I was out with a girl the other night that I have hung out with a couple of times and I hadn't felt nervous around her before but I guess I had built her up in my head a bit and I felt more tense/nervous the last time we hung out. In the other situations they were other people around that either she or I knew. I think part of the reason I felt tense was that this last meet with like 30 minutes and I felt like there was so much to talk about and it was almost rushed because we both needed to be places. I guess part of it was a self fulfilling loop too. Like, I was worried that I was coming across as nervous/tense which made me even more nervous/tense. I know girls are good at picking up that kind of thing. I know the key is not putting a girl on a pedestal and I think this experience helped me realize that even more.
GorillaTheater Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Same trick as dealing with public speaking anxiety: Picture her naked. I mean, if you aren't doing that already. 2
nescafe1982 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I'm a woman, but I also get incredibly nervous when meeting someone new (and especially if I like them!) My tactic is to ask questions about them; gets them talking long enough for my nerves to settle. After a little while things get easier.
Brunettie Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Don't think of it so much as a first date, think of it as hanging out with a friend. No expectations, just to spend 1-2 hours together.
New User Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Same trick as dealing with public speaking anxiety: Picture her naked. I mean, if you aren't doing that already. That was pretty much exactly what I was going to post. 1
Author Lansing Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 Don't think of it so much as a first date, think of it as hanging out with a friend. No expectations, just to spend 1-2 hours together. Yeah, I think that is where things went wrong... I started worrying about what I was saying and how it was coming across, and if I was sharing enough about myself and if the conversation was "deep" enough.. ha.
KathyM Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Don't overthink what you are going to say, or how it will be perceived. Just try to focus on getting to know her better and finding out what her interests and passions are, rather than worrying about what you are going to say. The goal of dating is or should be to get to know someone better and have fun together, rather than trying so hard to impress the other person. 2
Author Lansing Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 Yeah.. I agree, that makes sense. I guess part of me felt like things had to "progress" with each time I saw her but I should have just been more laid back and just had a normal conversation without concern for the outcome. That is usually how I am but I guess when I actually like someone it changes my behaviour and not for the better... 1
KathyM Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Yeah.. I agree, that makes sense. I guess part of me felt like things had to "progress" with each time I saw her but I should have just been more laid back and just had a normal conversation without concern for the outcome. That is usually how I am but I guess when I actually like someone it changes my behaviour and not for the better... Don't worry so much about outcome and enjoy the process instead.
Mr.Mango Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Yeah don't bother with it too much. I feel like people are always getting nervous 'cause they think they'll screw up. The reality is that nothing can go 100% smooth so you might as well be comfortable with the percentage you can pull off. When I'm on dates, being myself, and notice the girl getting bored, anxious, etc. I just let it happen, 'cause I'm sure as hell not going to mold myself over on the spot for the sake of 1 girl and some nervousness.
Recommended Posts