lizzy31291 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Hi all, some of you have read my post "Boyfriend of 5+ years now distant." To sum that up for those that did not, I believe it is a case of "GIGS." Well I broke my NC yesterday, mind you it was hitting almost a full month since the breakup happened. His little cousin passed away and her birthday was yesterday. I was there for him and his family when she was healthy and sick and after she passed, it was an extremely difficult time for all of us. I just had a strange feeling to text him this yesterday: "Hi Joe, I know we don't talk, but today holds a special place in my heart because it is Kim's birthday. I just wanted to say I'm thinking of your family..." He responded quickly with this: "Thank you, today is not easy. I'm sorry we haven't talked but it's just too difficult for me. I care about you very much Liz. Thank you, I hope you are doing well." I choose to not respond because I do not think he is ready to talk to me and It would only cause me more pain. Texting him was not my intention for him to start a conversation with me it was really about his cousin. I was shocked he even responded. My question for you all is does his response sound sincere and do you think he will contact me again when he is ready? Thank you! (:
BC1980 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I think you did the right thing by not texting him back. I have no clue if he will contact you again, but he probably will. Most dumpers do at some point I have found, and most people on this board will tell you the same. It's not really a question of will he contact you but what will you do when it happens.
Author lizzy31291 Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 Thank you for your response. That is true, I am not too sure what I would do if he does contact me. I guess only time will tell if that even happens. I know that I would have to see a major change on his end and take it very slowly. It is just kind of scary not knowing if he ever will or not. I am doing my best to carry on and focus on myself; all my friends and family say I am handling the breakup very well. I have even been going on a few dates too. I know I'm not over my ex thought because you know you really love someone when they are the first and last thing you think about each day.
StandardToaster895 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Being there for him at specific important moments is the best way to show your love for him, and when he's ready, he'll approach you more fully, perhaps about getting coffee or something. The only thing I can say is to not push it, let it all be organic, just like when you first make a friend. You can't push it, you can only go with what he gives you. The next opportunity you have to text him, do it. He sure sounds sincere to me!
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You're the ex-.... right? yeah, be sure to act the little doormat for him, OP... You hit him at a vulnerable time, but that was sufficient. ad you clearly stated, you contacted him specifically to offer condolences for his cousin. In contacting him, however, he may feel you're indicating you're comfortable being relegated to the 'Friend-Zone' so be cautious about any further attempts by him to offer you 'breadcrumbs'.... If you feel any further possible contact warrants a reply from you (even if your first instinct is to ask him to not contact you any more), sit on it for 24 hours, come back in and seek support here first... While he may be feeling sensitive right now, it takes nothing away from the fact that he dumped you. Keep on with the NC, until such a time as he tries to entice you to break it. Then should that happen, come back in and we'll all chat more....
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