After three months of NC, I think my ex (the dumper) still has feelings for me.

[worldexploded]

My ex posted something on his blog stating how he felt about breaking up with me. After saying I was a "cold heartless bitch that showed no emotion" he said " She'll always have a little place in my heart." I know it sounds crazy but obviously he was still hurt about it the break up.

 

I sent him a message on FB and he responded well to it. Problem is I told him i agreed with the break up wanting to be friends.

 

He said he would rather be acquaintances for now but in time might see us as friends.

 

He has noticed the changes I've made for myself and is happy for me.

 

I think I messed up because I would like to get back together in the future. Since it seems like he still loves me I don't know how to hint to him I still love him. I don't know what to do.

 

I'll be leaving for basic training for the reserves soon and won't be back till next year. He is going to a new college FILLED with girls. I don't want to fade from his mind.

[Philosoraptor]

Why did you add him back on facebook? I was reading your old threads and it's clear he wants to meet other women and also was grasping straws as reasons to end things.

 

Why would you want to get back with someone who insults you and clearly didn't care enough about you to stay with you? He seems to be doing his best to have his freedom and leave you waiting as the backup... and it's working.

[worldexploded]

I figured since I didn't react much to the break up he thought I didn't care. I wanted to let him know I still did. He's oddly overly emotional, it's weird.

 

I didn't message anything like "I miss you" or " I can't live without you". I just told him I understand why you wanted to break up and that I didn't hate him.

 

That was the first time I contacted him since we broke up. I'm not intending on contacting him again on my own.

 

I really did have issues with myself I needed to change. I wasn't ready to be in a relationship when I was with him. I'm still not.

 

In that blog post he wrote stuff like "I hope my ex does well in life, there is always a little place in my heart for her, and I hope she finds a great man that will take care of her."

 

I figured at that point he still cared so I thought a friendship would be good.

 

He requested a friend request so quickly I thought he'd still like to talk. I'm trying not to get my hopes up but from what I know about him he isn't a complete jerk. I would think he'd at least appreciate the history we have.

[flitzanu]

just curious why you'd be stalking his blog 3 months later? that's not really NC if you're still following his social media.

[worldexploded]

It was just curiosity. I had the blog blocked before.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, that was dumb. I mean, he broke up with you and you are concerned about his thoughts on you caring about the break? For what purpose? So sweet, you proved that you are still on the hook.

[Leigh 87]

It means nothing. His blog.

 

My ex still has feelings for me. He's even outright told me so.

 

He also says he misses me so much, he'll always love me, he hasn't found anyone else after 3 months post break up and he still calls me Leigh darling snd sweety and baby.

 

We talk every few days via text.

 

It's very commom for guys should are dumpers to still have feelings for women they left.

 

It DOESN'T MEAN they want to be with you!!!

 

There is NOTHING special about his blog comment.

 

A LOT of guys feel that their exes will always have a special place in their heart. ....

[worldexploded]

Ok everyone thanks for pointing out I sound like an idiot. : (

 

Is it wrong to care about him? When I messaged him there was no hint of me wanting to get back with him. I literally just told him I don't want any hard feelings between us. How is that still on the hook? Yes, i said I still have feelings for him but he doesn't know that. It's been three months I would think that is an appropriate time to try to connect again.

[Simon Phoenix]

Ok everyone thanks for pointing out I sound like an idiot. : (

 

Is it wrong to care about him? When I messaged him there was no hint of me wanting to get back with him. I literally just told him I don't want any hard feelings between us. How is that still on the hook? Yes, i said I still have feelings for him but he doesn't know that. It's been three months I would think that is an appropriate time to try to connect again.

 

No, it's not appropriate. Because you haven't moved forward. You are still stuck on the past and contact with him still gets you off kilter. There's not a time limit or shot clock on this stuff. You're ready when you are ready. And you aren't ready as evidenced by this thread. You are definitely on the hook and even if he didn't know it right now, he'd figure it out pretty quickly with more correspondence.

[thora-tiki]

Don't get trapped in a 'friends zone', worldexploded, because he will keep you there until he exhausts all other options. You deserve more than that.

 

He deserves a good kick in the a*s too from the sound of things... and guess what?! No contact will be doing that for him!

 

Muhaha!

 

Stay the course... no contact will sometimes piss off the ex.

Delete him for your life, form everything. Today!

 

Ignore your crybaby ex-hole and his ranting and bull**** on his lame blog... you just keep on evolving.

 

Don't break no contact.

 

He sounds like he is starting to evolve now... let him.

First signs of someone evolving, they ask for sympathy. Don't give in.

 

Send him my way and I'll give him something to cry about!

Bahaha!

 

Do not say or agree to be friends. Big mistake. Because this new friendship remains as skewed as the old failed relationship. Vanish from his life and start having one of your own. If he then comes back to you begging to be taken back, saying: «I was a muppet, please take me back», consider what to do then. But for now it is best to be without a master puppeteer in your life.

 

Oh, and just so you know:

There isn't a secret window of opportunity that you have to worry about missing.

 

You do this no contact for as long you need to.

 

I mean, it takes time to get ready to reconnect. According to the books, we only have a month to do this. Some books even mention that after the 3 month mark your chances are greatly decreased.

But I really believe the magic starts after a few months.

 

I mean, who could possibly evolve and transform their life, get over a dead relationship, date and take up new hobbies, get ready for a reconnection, reconnect and start a fresh new relationship with their ex in a month or two?

 

And if we have rushed no contact, we are back in the same old relationship = another go at a dying relationship involving the same two un-evolved people.

 

Nothing really good is going to happen to you until you let go of your ex-hole and the past.

 

So lets take our time and stop worrying about him moving on.

If he moves on then it wasn't meant to be!

[worldexploded]

Ok. I understand now. Can I possibly reverse what I've done already? The message I sent and accepting his friend request? How can I go back to being the person who hasn't given in?

[Philosoraptor]

Ok. I understand now. Can I possibly reverse what I've done already? The message I sent and accepting his friend request? How can I go back to being the person who hasn't given in?

Don't send or respond to any more messages and hit the delete/block on social media.

[worldexploded]

I'm looking back on this post I see how ridiculous I was being. Thanks so much for the advice guys. My ex actually contacted me not too long ago this year and I had absolutely no interest in reconnecting. From how he was acting when we met up he was still the same kid I dated 2 years ago. I was actually annoyed by his presence lol