Tahme Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 (edited) As the title says, she's my sisters best friend, lives 2 doors away and our families know each other. A few events coming up so my sisters are there often or meeting her. I started speaking to her whilst she was with someone. They'd been together for quite some time. In April they broke up and she mentioned she had a ex who she broke up with last November, that she was over him. we got closer but I never made a move or anything to avoid being a rebound. It was fairly evident she liked me as time went on but she became very distant towards the end of may. I found out she was still talking to her ex, He would call her for a month and then stop, repeating the cycle as he pleased. I left town for a few days and before i returned i told her i liked her but no longer was going to try as she clearly seemed uninterested. Mid may she asked that we 'be more like friends' and this time said she acted the way she did because she did like me but didn't want to 'lose me as a mate' and all these other 'reasons'. turned my Phone off for 2 weeks and 4 weeks later she spoke to me saying she just found out I had turned it back on. I was leaving to go somewhere at this point and told her that I knew about her speaking to her ex, she denied it and again 5 other times. The 5th time I mentioned I knew who her ex was, which lead to a 2 word response and her flipping out. She deleted my number and texts etc, but sent my a fairly personal message on my birthday. A few days later she messaged me again out of the blue and we conversed all day. The next day she randomly stopped replying mid day and I saw her ex driving on our road as she returned home. The day after my sister went to her ex's work place and she went with. At this point i decided to delete her number. She messaged a few days later but I didn't really respond. My problem is she's contacted me throughout occasionally, if I see her she'll try to be really friendly or funny however It doesn't feel like it use too. I accept she might not feel the same but I wanted to still be mates. Seeing her go to his shop though has destroyed me, as I feel I deserve to know considering she's insistent they haven't spoken since January. I'm trying to get over her but my sisters constantly go to her house, il see her on the road or occasionally she's at mine. I hate that I'm not involved and that she no longer wants me around, I hate that she barely talks to me and I hate that her ex is the reason for all this. It's been 4 months since the last time I was happy with her and tbh i hate that but her actions led to this. It seems I'm getting the worse end of the stick though Edited August 9, 2013 by Tahme
Philosoraptor Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 You don't need to know anything, and her ex isn't the reason for this, she is. She clearly needs emotional validation which is why you're only good enough when her ex isn't in the picture. You need to set boundaries here. I wouldn't be her partner or her friend, as she is still hung up on her ex and isn't much of a friend either as you have been letting her use you for awhile now. 1
will1988 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 She clearly is only interested in you as a friend... and you repetedly questioning her about her talking to her ex (even when you two are not even dating, no less!) is driving a huge wedge between you two. Pull away, distance yourself, maybe be her friend... and see how things evolve over time, naturally... with out you trying to force her in to a bubble and without you questioning her motives. Also, you may want to ask your sister for her imput. good luck!
Author Tahme Posted August 14, 2013 Author Posted August 14, 2013 Thanks for the replies, Posted in 'coping' due to her constantly mentioned in my house, my sisters over at hers, her at mine or all of them just outside. All this makes it harder to move on. My phone's smashed since my last post and ive started NC. Been a week, 1 attempt at conversation from her, 2 moments of me avoiding it but yesterday she made numerous attempts to speak to me. Specifically, she stood in front of me for 10 minutes trying to get my attention. (she was laughing quite a bit with my sister making it alot less sincere) Suggestions would be great. For those who are wondering, I believe she still likes her ex (my sister has been spoken to and did confirm this in june), I dont think she's interested in me and knowing this I gave her a chance twice, both times she gave him the time of day.
Recommended Posts