MelodyJ Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Well, I have been neglecting my work and scrolling thru the posts, and one thing I keep reading over and over is about being alone and lonely. So I ask, what do you do when you feel lonely? When the weekend comes and you have no plans and it seems like you are the only one on earth who is not out or with someone? Me: I tell myself I like me. I'm ok. It's ok to be alone for a while. I eat a good meal, or cook something I like. I take a hot bath, rent some movies, read a good book, give myself a pedicure, smoke something and have a drink. Listen to my favorite music as loud as I want and sing along. Play with my dog. Stay up late until I fall sleep. Any or all of the above works for me. Don't be shy.
ltomlinson81 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 I do those things when I have to be alone, but I also surround myself with friends and other people as much as possible to avoid feeling lonely. I keep myself busy, too. If I am focused on things I want or have to get done or people I am interacting with, I don't have time to feel lonely.
beejsea2 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Since my break-up is recent I like be around people or keeping busy. It's when I'm in the house alone at night that I really get teary eyed and think about him. I have two jobs so I'm pretty busy all the time and trust me it's a life saver.
bluechocolate Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Me: I tell myself I like me. I'm ok. It's ok to be alone for a while. I eat a good meal, or cook something I like. I take a hot bath, rent some movies, read a good book, give myself a pedicure, smoke something and have a drink. Listen to my favorite music as loud as I want and sing along. Play with my dog. Stay up late until I fall sleep. Any or all of the above works for me. Me too. I used to read a lot as well so no problem to stay up all night in bed with a good book and a lot of times I would just go out & get drunk & talk to people .
tiki Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 I used to eat when and what I wanted. I vegged out on the couch with my a$$ hanging out. I farted when my tummy hurt. When you are lonely, think of those in need around you. Can you visit an elderly relative? Call to check up on someone? Catch up on some good reading or rent that flick you've been dying to see - that no one else wants to. Love will find you. It found me and snagged me up. Now I can't even fart when I wanna. Haha, it's worth it though.
bluechocolate Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate Me: I tell myself I like me. I'm ok. It's ok to be alone for a while. I eat a good meal, or cook something I like. I take a hot bath, rent some movies, read a good book, give myself a pedicure, smoke something and have a drink. Listen to my favorite music as loud as I want and sing along. Play with my dog. Stay up late until I fall sleep. Any or all of the above works for me. Me too. I used to read a lot as well so no problem to stay up all night in bed with a good book and a lot of times I would just go out & get drunk & talk to people . I just read that again - I've never given myself a pedicure once in my whole life !! just the toe-nail clippers for me
iceisles Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 Originally posted by tiki Love will find you. I hear this line a lot, but there is perhaps nothing more difficult to believe when you're alone. And even when love finds me, sometimes it turns around and bolts back out the door. Lol. After I've been rejected/dumped/etc., one of the most irritating things to hear is "Don't worry, there is someone out there for you." Anyone else get tired of hearing this?
tiki Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 Originally posted by iceisles Anyone else get tired of hearing this? Yup, right up until the day I found him.
Author MelodyJ Posted November 4, 2004 Author Posted November 4, 2004 One of my married friends keeps telling me that the right guy is out there and I have wasted 5 years of my life with the wrong one. Now it is time to let love find me. It is too soon to even think about another relationship, but, yeah, the line gets old. I think we have to not think about it so much otherwise every date is going to be "is this going to be it" and I already made that mistake once. Maybe I'm just pessimistic.
iceisles Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 I think some folks like to use the "love will find you" line as a way to comfort, or perhaps they say it when they have nothing else to console you with. The reason that love "finds" us when we stop looking is because so much time passes that it is only inevitable that an opportunity will arise. Sure, if I stop looking for a few years, I'm sure something will come up - but I could make many more things happen on my own by actively looking. I know they are trying to help, but it gets under my skin when my friends toss out the classics such as "there's plenty of fish in the sea" or "it wasn't meant to be." And I don't know about you, but most people who are telling me this are happily with someone.
EC Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 I know you get tired of hearing it. But I swear it does find you. Mine came and snatched me up when I wasn't even looking for it at all. I had decided like two day before that I was happy with me and that I would just wait and two day later he came lol:) But while I was lonely I would take my little cousins to the movies, get in the car and just waste gas and drive around, read alot!!, dye my hair, paint my nails, do my eyebrows, take bubble baths, jam my music realy loud and sing along, dye my hair another color for change, go shopping, go to the gym. I was really miserable though at night. That is the worst I think..at night and during the holidays...ahhhh..lol BUt you get through it and when you least expect it they come from behind the bushes..lol Thats what my mom and I say because she was lonely for a long time but all she did was stay home and sit on the porch after work. I said " Mom you have to get out he's not just going to pop out of the bushes" and she would answer "My guy is out there I don't have to go looking it will come to me" and sure enough a while later our neighbors upstairs had a domestic call and this police officer literally jumped out of the bushes of my porch lmao and they hooked up and shes happy! Go figure? ??
tattoomytoe Posted November 4, 2004 Posted November 4, 2004 I think for a lot of people, myself included, it all depends on your Point of View, and how you define things. apparently there was somehing good going on in the 5 years you were with him. why look at it as a waste? you got to meet a new person and be involved with their life and share your life with him. It was an experience, not a waste. i think you need to change your perspective a bit, you are being too pessimistic. why do that to yourself? It is just as easy to focus on the positive aspect of your life just as you do the negative. it takes some getting used to, and is not always easy, but it helps sooo much. how are you going to have positive things happen hen you attract the negative with negativity?
Author MelodyJ Posted November 4, 2004 Author Posted November 4, 2004 yes tommy you are right. my negative feelings are more directed toward men, and not life. in my day to day activities with co-workers and customers, i am very positive and out going. ever since i decided it was over, i have been looking forward to my new life. i have alot of plans for myself and am feeling very positive about the future. i just don't see it involving men for a while, but that is ok with me. and i will definitley heed the warning signs and pay extra attention to my intuition the next time around.
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