ilovemykids1234 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Hi everyone Afew days ago my partner of 6 years relationship we have 4 kids together admitted having feeling for my niece , he said its not like a love type of feeling but he cant help the way he feels . they were always hugging each others, walking arms around each others even in fron of me , i had a massive word with my niece which she told me that she only see him as a father figure , ever since i told him that he said that he wants to make it work me and him . i tried to give it another go , i love him more than anything , but now everytime i see them laughing or even hugging i hate it even so i know that my niece only see him like a dad (she is 18 ) he told me he just want to treat her as a daughter but even so i love him i feel like the damage as been done , i tried to cope with it but the truth is that it hurts so much . at the same time i do not want to destroy the family we have but i feel different now towards him will this feeling ever go away on my side , or is it too late to work it out , if so what should i do i dont know if i just just leave and get myself a new place somwhere or stay and pretend that everything is alright until i go back to the way i used to truly feel for him thanks for your genuine advice
veggirl Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 If your SO wants to make it work, there should be NO physical contact with your niece, he shouldn't even be engaging her unless necessary. Sad for her to lose her father figure/dad type but unfortunately he isn't capable of being that person to her. I find it disturbing that an older guy (how old is he?) who has apparently known a girl since she was 12 (since you said it's been 6 yrs) could see her as anything but a kid. Even if she has developed and whatnot, how do you lose the image of 12 yr old kid you were an adult to? Eww. and I'm confused he said he wants to make it work only after you told him seh sees him as a dad figure? If she was sexually attracted to him would he be going after her?!
MrTurk Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Wow...I dont even know what to say to this :eek::eek:
iKING Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 That's a pretty complex.. Complex they have going on there. If that progresses, I'd suggest having a serious talk with him about it. It kind of seems to be bordering on the creepy side of things.
spiderowl Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 No wonder you are upset. He is an adult guy with wife and children and is focusing on his niece! It would be disturbing for anyone, let alone his wife. What is he thinking of? I think you need to think of your own feelings here and of your children. For whatever reason, your partner has gone off the rails a bit mentally and things are not quite right and you sense that. I can't advise you as to what to do next, but some form of counselling (maybe couples counselling?) would help you to move forward, whether that is towards him or away from him. I think you need some support now. Please consider getting that help on your own if you'd rather.
Author ilovemykids1234 Posted August 10, 2013 Author Posted August 10, 2013 If your SO wants to make it work, there should be NO physical contact with your niece, he shouldn't even be engaging her unless necessary. Sad for her to lose her father figure/dad type but unfortunately he isn't capable of being that person to her. I find it disturbing that an older guy (how old is he?) who has apparently known a girl since she was 12 (since you said it's been 6 yrs) could see her as anything but a kid. Even if she has developed and whatnot, how do you lose the image of 12 yr old kid you were an adult to? Eww. and I'm confused he said he wants to make it work only after you told him seh sees him as a dad figure? If she was sexually attracted to him would he be going after her?! no he only just met her she came over from france for 3 weeks he never met her before then , and he is 27 , hope this can help
Recommended Posts