HopingAgain Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Last night I was bored and decided to surf through Netflix and " Wicked Attraction" caught my eye. Its basically true crime series about unhinged lovers. I watched about 4 episodes before noticing an unsettling theme: most of these stories were cheating spouses and the OW/OM killing their wives and husbands! I know the stories represented a small segment of society,, but knowing how many APs DO become unhinged, it was kinda scary. There is often so MUCH resentment towards the BS by AP and we see a lot of it on these forums. Then of course are the WSs that allow these sometimes unstable people access into BSs lives to begin witFor those who have had experiences with Bunny Boilers...did it ever cause you to feel unsafe? Or make you more vigilant about protecting yourself? Thankfully, I didn't experience an OW who set out to make my life hell" but the entire experience has just kicked my already existing trust issues into high gear. I find myself very leery of peoples motives, especially seeing how many OW know the wife or attempt to familiarize themselves with her during the affair. 1
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Last night I was bored and decided to surf through Netflix and " Wicked Attraction" caught my eye. Its basically true crime series about unhinged lovers. I watched about 4 episodes before noticing an unsettling theme: most of these stories were cheating spouses and the OW/OM killing their wives and husbands! I know the stories represented a small segment of society,, but knowing how many APs DO become unhinged, it was kinda scary. There is often so MUCH resentment towards the BS by AP and we see a lot of it on these forums. Then of course are the WSs that allow these sometimes unstable people access into BSs lives to begin witFor those who have had experiences with Bunny Boilers...did it ever cause you to feel unsafe? Or make you more vigilant about protecting yourself? Thankfully, I didn't experience an OW who set out to make my life hell" but the entire experience has just kicked my already existing trust issues into high gear. I find myself very leery of peoples motives, especially seeing how many OW know the wife or attempt to familiarize themselves with her during the affair. I hope that only happens with long term AP's, because if I start doing the math.... Ohhhh boyyyyy I might get swarmed, my house could be like a beehive of bunny boiling ONS Craigslist escorts and MOW's from Ashley Madison J/k 1
sweet_pea Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Bumping this because I read a story not too long ago about an OW who killed the BS. The OW broke into the BS' house and waited for her to get home then beat her to death... such a tragedy. Thankfully, both the WS and OW are being charged with conspiracy to murder (or something to that effect) and first-degree murder. I'm curious to know if in any BS' case, the AP made them feel unsafe/threatened them, etc. I don't think people really think about or understand the scope of damage that affairs cause unless it happens to them. Personally, for a time after DDay, I did feel unsafe. I would get phone calls with OW screaming profanities at me, calling and hanging up, got a few emails, etc. At the time, I didn't know what to do so I just dealt with it but knowing what I know now, I'd probably go and see if I could get a RO. Luckily, it never went past verbal abuse. 2
Author HopingAgain Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 I hope that only happens with long term AP's, because if I start doing the math.... Ohhhh boyyyyy I might get swarmed, my house could be like a beehive of bunny boiling ONS Craigslist escorts and MOW's from Ashley Madison J/k LOL! No kidding! On a serious note though, would youb believe some of these stories involved people who'd been involved in an affair less than a year? Talk about obsessive!
Spark1111 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 No, it's not all that unusual. triangles explode in violence often. Don't kid yourself because you run in the rarified educated circles where people either accept it or look the other way. That is not what always happens. People in affairs are often murdered due to rage or wanting to get rid of the obstacle standing in their way of true happiness, especially if major life insurance can sweeten the pot. keep watching ID Channel, or read the papers....murder, suicide, etc is not all that unusual in a triangle relationship.
Author HopingAgain Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 Bumping this because I read a story not too long ago about an OW who killed the BS. The OW broke into the BS' house and waited for her to get home then beat her to death... such a tragedy. Thankfully, both the WS and OW are being charged with conspiracy to murder (or something to that effect) and first-degree murder. I'm curious to know if in any BS' case, the AP made them feel unsafe/threatened them, etc. I don't think people really think about or understand the scope of damage that affairs cause unless it happens to them. Personally, for a time after DDay, I did feel unsafe. I would get phone calls with OW screaming profanities at me, calling and hanging up, got a few emails, etc. At the time, I didn't know what to do so I just dealt with it but knowing what I know now, I'd probably go and see if I could get a RO. Luckily, it never went past verbal abuse. Ugh, that is so awful. Apparentelyv this type of stuff happens more than people think. Affairs tend to bringv out the very worst in those in them. I'm glad to hear the escalation stopped before you needed a restraining order. I'm honestly considering taking self defense classes and registering for a handgun and concealed weapon permit. I just want to empower and protect myself because you never know these days!
Author HopingAgain Posted August 9, 2013 Author Posted August 9, 2013 No, it's not all that unusual. triangles explode in violence often. Don't kid yourself because you run in the rarified educated circles where people either accept it or look the other way. That is not what always happens. People in affairs are often murdered due to rage or wanting to get rid of the obstacle standing in their way of true happiness, especially if major life insurance can sweeten the pot. keep watching ID Channel, or read the papers....murder, suicide, etc is not all that unusual in a triangle relationship. Yep! That show is probably not the best watching for a BS who wants her mind at ease, but for those who are willing to take a cold shot of reality it DOES raise awareness. BSs need to be very careful about their safety after uncovering an affair!
waterwoman Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 OW didn't scare me. Her BH did. Nasty piece of work.
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 LOL! No kidding! On a serious note though, would youb believe some of these stories involved people who'd been involved in an affair less than a year? Talk about obsessive! Yes- it's actually not a laughing matter, I probably shouldn't have made a joke there, it could be taken the wrong way by someone who has been in a real situation involving real danger. Eek I feel a little embarrassed now. My xbf was a serial cheater involved in a lot of one or two nighters and with escorts and massage parlors, so the thought of any of them stalking me struck me as humorous, but in all reality, who knows- He did fool around with married women. Maybe one of them was severly depressed for years, trying to get out of an abusive marriage and signing up for Ashley Madison was her convoluted way of a cry for help, looking for a knight in shining armor to rescue her from her bad marriage. Xbf is a proficient liar, he could have said any number of things to hook up with her. One time turns into two or 3, then he drops her and she is back to reality with her abuser and she snaps. She sees him one day at the grocery store after he hasnt returned her calls for a few weeks and follows him home, and realizes shes been taken for a ride when she sees me in the driveway greeting him with a hug and a kiss. She becomes unhinged and all the pent up anger towards her abusive husband bubbles up at once, and the new hope that she can get out of her situation is crushed in that moment. Crime of passion ensues. So there are circumstances under which even my situation it is POSSIBLE that something bad could happen. It didnt, but I shouldn't have made light of it. On the flip side, since i am making up imaginary scenes, and also because I don't want OW/OM to think this is an attack thread, BS can snap too and I acknowledge that. The main Responsibility lies with the liar liar pants on fire who created the triangle bomb waiting to detonate. In that same scene, MOW could have gotten out of her car and disclosed the nature of their short A. Maybe I was suspicious and being gaslighted for a long time and having her show up at my house is the straw that broke the camels back, and I get in my SUV and run him over. I didn't do that either. Just hypothetical.
MidwestUSA Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 A really great read is the story of Betty Broderick, I believe it's called the Twelfth of Never. A BS killing her exH AND his AP, after AP became the newer, hotter, younger replacement wife (who can't wait to start having his babies). Of course there was a Lifetime movie as well as a documentary on it, but TV never does anything justice after I've read the book. It conveys her emotions and actions quite well. And the language she uses, oh my! But, the way H and his AP rubbed her face in it, you can almost sympathize. The fact that she subjected her four kids as witnesses to it, and then deprived them of both parents, well, horrible. Think I'll go reread it!
Betterthanthis13 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 A really great read is the story of Betty Broderick, I believe it's called the Twelfth of Never. A BS killing her exH AND his AP, after AP became the newer, hotter, younger replacement wife (who can't wait to start having his babies). Of course there was a Lifetime movie as well as a documentary on it, but TV never does anything justice after I've read the book. It conveys her emotions and actions quite well. And the language she uses, oh my! But, the way H and his AP rubbed her face in it, you can almost sympathize. The fact that she subjected her four kids as witnesses to it, and then deprived them of both parents, well, horrible. Think I'll go reread it! I like how you used the word sympathize and not empathize. Sympathy is definitely appropriate in my opinion for a torture victim who is pushed to the brink and ACTS (reacts) in revenge, causing a tragedy and a lot of collateral damage. Empathy is for the same person who is unfairly and unmercifully torturtured, but seeks healing.
Spark1111 Posted August 13, 2013 Posted August 13, 2013 Yep! That show is probably not the best watching for a BS who wants her mind at ease, but for those who are willing to take a cold shot of reality it DOES raise awareness. BSs need to be very careful about their safety after uncovering an affair! And it certainly works the other way too... Many an enraged BS stalks, hurts, worse....the AP and the WS!
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