Is it me?

[joeb1]

So here is the situation: Known a girl for about a year, we've had a very weird thing for the whole year, but only just recently started dating. I think shes a really awesome person and I love her and care for her alot. She says she feels the same way and I make her really happy and all that stuff.

 

First 3 months we started talking and getting close it was a really messy situation where she would want to be with her ex, than flip flop with me every couple weeks, and she would make it seam so true. Anyways we are past that.

 

Now that we are together its been pretty good relationship wise, but a few things came up. (shes 17, im 18) She loves to drink and smoke (pot) with her friends.

 

Last two times she was drunk, her gay bestfriend kissed her surprisingly. He apologized and he really is gay, So I eventually let it go. Second time, she kissed her girl bestfriend. I guess I wasnt really as mad as I would if it was a guy, but still. So she agrees to stop drinking.

 

Now she smokes probably every/everyother day with alot of people I have no idea who, some even homeless. I'm very anti-drug, tried and hated it, but if I dont get involved its whatever. But I still worry, is that wrong of me? And just today we had plans to do something together, but she kept postponing it, probably because shed rather get high with her friends rather than do something with me. We had plans at 1, she moved it to 2, and stopped replying around 1:20. Her phone is on, and shes replying to other people.

 

What should I do? Id really like to not break up with her because I do love her alot, but my feelings feel really clouded by this situation, what do you guys think? How should I solve this? Should I just let it happen?

[Mr.Mango]

Sounds like you guys have lifestyle incompatibilities.

 

If she puts her habits before spending time with you, you're likely to have problems in the future. She probably doesn't want to stop smoking pot and realizes it's too much of a hassle doing it with you around, so she cuts you out. All you can really hope for is that she'll be open about it, so you don't end up worrying constantly. If you're cool with her smoking and going off to do her thing than I suppose you can stick with it. If it were me I'd probably end it unless she stops ignoring phone calls and can be open about what she's doing and with who.

 

You don't want to be her dad about it, but some mutual understanding isn't much to ask for.

[joeb1]

Sounds like you guys have lifestyle incompatibilities.

 

If she puts her habits before spending time with you, you're likely to have problems in the future. She probably doesn't want to stop smoking pot and realizes it's too much of a hassle doing it with you around, so she cuts you out. All you can really hope for is that she'll be open about it, so you don't end up worrying constantly. If you're cool with her smoking and going off to do her thing than I suppose you can stick with it. If it were me I'd probably end it unless she stops ignoring phone calls and can be open about what she's doing and with who.

 

You don't want to be her dad about it, but some mutual understanding isn't much to ask for.

 

Its weird because she didnt use to do it this much, but now its become an every day thing. She used to talk to me the whole time while she did it and well I was alright with that, but i don't know now, it started with like 2-3 friends but now shes at the park with 15+ people and I just know sometimes I feel like she cant control herself sometimes.

[ZX4]

You chose to commit to a promiscuous girl that smokes and enjoys getting drunk.

 

So yes, it is you.

[joeb1]

You chose to commit to a promiscuous girl that smokes and enjoys getting drunk.

 

So yes, it is you.

 

Fair enough i guess.