cruelworld Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) Hi everyone .im new here and i want to post my story here and nice to see your comments and it`s very welcomed.iv been with my boyfriend about a year and he was my first for everything and i was for him too. and we fell in love deeply and we talked about marriage and stuffs like that.lately we had discussions wich he told me not loving him that much.because he thought i dont love him back as he loves me madly.i though that wasnt true and kept telling him that i love you and i want to be with you.but you know he wanted to spend rest of his life with me ,but somehow i wasnt sure about that,i mean i loved/love him he was my first and everything , i havent met many guys in my lifetime . I'm 19years old now but you know i think that was soon for me to talk about marriage or living a lifetime together.so our fights became more and more until he made a mental obsession for me by thinking that what`s wrong with me?am i really in love with him or i still love him or just like him as a usual friend?so i coulnt bear it any more and i borke up with him over text because i was tired of fighting and crying for him because i thought he wanted me to be someone else and love him the way different like i do now.i have to admit that im not very good at showing my love to people but not only him that`s my personality.i tried to change that first for him but i couldnt win he said i dont see the love in your eyes.so now that im done with him i feel a deep regret and i want him back,i told him once but he didnt accept and told me what`s over is over and our relationship cant be saved anymore.he told me that he had forgotten me and also deleted my phone number and my pictures and also unfriended me on fb.and also admitted that he has searched for another girls although he sweared he cant love anyone but me. I know he loved and still loves me too much and i know he wasnt cheat on me or wasnt think about someone else never and ever!i can bet that.so in one hand im not sure about him i mean i want to be with him as long as possible but not rest of my life but he wants that.he is one year younger than me and is 17 and i was first to him too and he hadnt been with any girl before.in other hand i want to get him back but he said he cant becuse if we get back together again the same old story will continue and nothing ever changes.it`s also good idea to be just friends but im 99% sure he wont accept that cause he told me before.and of course i have still feelings for him and thats not easy to me to be just his friend.he means too much to me and he is a big part and maybe the biggest part of my life and the most and only important part of my life. I cant throw him away from my life like that.my life was a **** before him.no joy no love no peace with depression i felt inside of me. i am not a happy girl at all i never was but with him i was for the first time i felt alive for the first time in my whole life because of him.now everything is dark and empty and hollow again and i cant do anything for that except getting him back,plz someone help me,what should i do? Edited August 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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