Tashii90 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) Hello, I am new to this site and have been going through a tough time recently so thought i would see if there was anyone else out there going through kind of the same thing and may have some words of advice! This is quite a long story but i will try and keep it short. I am a first time mother to my little boy who is now 8 months. Me and his dad have had quite a tough relationship before i fell pregnant but i really thought things had got better.. We used to live together before our son but had a pretty bad break up and both went our seperate ways, the whole 3 months that we were apart i was begging him back and i then fell pregnant with our son and when i was 8 weeks preg we got back together. From then on we slowly moved back in together and welcomed our son into the world and everything seemed perfect! We have had the odd arguements and my partner smoked a lot of weed and did have a bit of a temper! When my son was 6 months old he left us and said that he couldnt handle being with me anymore. That was now 2 and a half months ago and still to this day i am begging him back. Since he left he has sometimes come back and slept with me and we get on well for a few days and then he will go again. He must have done this about 4 times now, and i am so heartbroken all the time i just let him do it because i hope it will make him come back. I miss the family life that we had and i hate the fact that he now has his life back to exactly how it was before we had our son. He rarely sees our son, but he claims that he misses him more than anything and wants to be there. He refuses to come and help me with him when i ask him to, he will only come round and see him when he doesnt have any other plans and even then he will only see him for an hour! I have tried to get consistency but it never works. I know that i need to stop texting him every 5 minutes to get him back but i cant stop myself, it hurts too much, i hate the fact that he will go and meet somebody else and have the things with them instead of me, and i want that to be us again. And its unbearable to think that he may go and have a family with somoene else one day. He ignores most of my texts and says he has no feelings for me anymore but i cant seem to accept it. Maybe the fact he keeps sleeping with me doesnt help that, AND just to make matters worse he has just found somewhere to live, across the road from my house! Directly opposite. I have tried to tell him that this will not work if i need to move on with my life as how can i, and he does not care and says its tough. Does anyone have any advice at all please? Anybody else been through this? At the moment i have no one to talk to as all my other friends either dont have children or still with their babys father. Edited August 9, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Zahara Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 What advice do you need, other than the obvious and that is letting him go. All the dreams you had, accept that family means you and your little boy enjoying life together as mother and son. Without him. Reality is we all don't get what we want. You were already having issues before you got pregnant, so you thought maybe pregnancy would change him? Well, it didn't and it isn't going to change now. And giving him free sex (eventhough he said he doesn't care for you anymore) is the only reason he comes to see you. Sex won't make him want you or care for you, all it does is tell him where he can get it for free. This isn't about giving up. I think your self-esteem is broken. Begging for a man to want you is a clear sign you have no self-respect or dignity left.
emva07 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) to be honest he will not have that happy family you think of with anyone else. He will either knock another chick up and have the same arrangement as he has with you. or just fly solo for life. He has no respect for women. If he did, he would be there for his son, emotionally and financially even if he didn't love you anymore. Irresponsible is irresponsible. Not just with you, with everyone. That's what we women seem to fail to understand. If a man is an ******* to you, he will not over night be a knight and shinning armor to another. Sure he can have somewhat of a family with someone else, but that woman will be put through hell too. A good man who stops loving a woman respectfully cuts her off and doesn't play the games this guy is playing with you. That is your sign that should tell you what kind of guy he is and will always be to you or anyone else. Edited August 8, 2013 by emva07
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