The ego boost of the younger Hot OW(M) ?

[LilGirlandOW]

I bet your MM just loves telling his guy friends all about your bisexuality. Bet he loved sharing that. Ah, really? Please don't think that's some badge. You really are sad.

 

You're not going to offend me, I never feel degraded over my sexuality... growing up (early teens) I thought I was a lesbian having zero interest in boys like all my other friends. I'm not a bi-playful who makes out with girls drunk at parties but think what you will. Cheers

[Pierre]

In my case, I've seen his wife and I'm pretty sure I'm not hotter or younger...at least in my opinion. Ok I might be a couple years younger, but she is gorgeous. And totally opposite personality from me. I don't really understand how men think.

 

Oh, please. Picking an OW is not about looks or because she is hotter than the wife at home.

 

The OW has an enormous advantage that the wife does not have. The wife may be a 9 and the OW a 6-7. However, the OW has a NEW vagina and the wife has an OLD vagina. The NEW is always more powerful and attractive.

[sweet_pea]

This was just a loose thought spurred by a one-sided article I read online.... Didnt claim to be a porche, that being said I'm not gonna lie and say I dont turn heads,,, whatever.

 

What makes me special? Outside of my thoughts and diaries I'm the most optimistic person most people I know have met, always smiling and try to "pay it forward" in life with the simple things (holding doors, returning the car beside me's shopping cart, buying a stranger in a car behind me coffee... little things that make me feel good). I take care of my body, my skin, my teeth, all the vain things, yes, I tune up daily.... but I more so feel good about myself everyday with the smiles, love and consideration I put out in the world. Plus I'm driven career wise.

Anyways....

 

And LisaLee... everybody needs validation, and any intimate encounters with women have been in a private setting, I'm bisexual... that doesnt make me a *****ing prono!!!

 

This is kind of a side question...

 

What happens when you are no longer young and beautiful (as Lana Del Ray sang:p)? What if MM went into a full relationship with you? How will you prevent him from cheating on you with a pretty young thing he meets at his new job or at a restaurant? Beauty fades, and optimistic, pretty, career-driven, highly sexual women are pretty much a dime a dozen. You can't stay pretty forever.

[Lillyfree]

well, isn't your MM a lucky fella.

 

he got himself a young, hot, bisexual little girl. why, that's what most men dream about! and he's not as attractive. so what does he bring?

[HopingAgain]

Oh, please. Picking an OW is not about looks or because she is hotter than the wife at home.

 

The OW has an enormous advantage that the wife does not have. The wife may be a 9 and the OW a 6-7. However, the OW has a NEW vagina and the wife has an OLD vagina. The NEW is always more powerful and attractive.

 

If the new vagina were all that much more powerful and attractive there would be closer to 100% of MM leaving for OW as opposed to probably between 5-10%.

[Phoenix32]

Oh, please. Picking an OW is not about looks or because she is hotter than the wife at home.

 

The OW has an enormous advantage that the wife does not have. The wife may be a 9 and the OW a 6-7. However, the OW has a NEW vagina and the wife has an OLD vagina. The NEW is always more powerful and attractive.

 

Damn, found me again, huh?

[BlissfullyWhich]

If the new vagina were all that muchv more powerful and attractive there would be closer to 100% of MM leaving for OW as opposed to probably between 5-10%.

 

New vagina is not the same as new wife. I think the implication is that often times, new vagina (or any vagina when none at home) is powerful and attractive enough to cheat. But it's not worth leaving your wife.

[HopingAgain]

New vagina is not the same as new wife. I think the implication is that often times, new vagina (or any vagina when none at home) is powerful and attractive enough to cheat. But it's not worth leaving your wife.

 

I think the allure of some new and strange can be powerful. The reality though,:Not so much.

[jlola]

This was just a loose thought spurred by a one-sided article I read online.... Didnt claim to be a porche, that being said I'm not gonna lie and say I dont turn heads,,, whatever.

 

What makes me special? Outside of my thoughts and diaries I'm the most optimistic person most people I know have met, always smiling and try to "pay it forward" in life with the simple things (holding doors, returning the car beside me's shopping cart, buying a stranger in a car behind me coffee... little things that make me feel good). I take care of my body, my skin, my teeth, all the vain things, yes, I tune up daily.... but I more so feel good about myself everyday with the smiles, love and consideration I put out in the world. Plus I'm driven career wise.

 

Anyways....

 

And LisaLee... everybody needs validation, and any intimate encounters with women have been in a private setting, I'm bisexual... that doesnt make me a *****ing prono!!!

Lil,

 

If you really believe in your positive attributes, why are you bottom feeding with a man of such little integrity,lots baggage who is not attractive to boot,the point his own friend is puzzled in what you see in him. The main has no redeeming qualities.

 

You act confident, but you are not. Confident women choose someone they feel is their equal. That does not mean someone they feel they look better than. In fact, a man may not have much in the looks department, but if he has integrity,character and has no baggage he can be quite a catch. But your man has none of that. So I ask again, if you feel you have so much to offer,why do you settle for so little?

[HopingAgain]

Lil,

 

If you really believe in your positive attributes, why are you bottom feeding with a man of such little integrity,lots baggage who is not attractive to boot,the point his own friend is puzzled in what you see in him. The main has no redeeming qualities.

 

You act confident, but you are not. Confident women choose someone they feel is their equal. That does not mean someone they feel they look better than. In fact, a man may not have much in the looks department, but if he has integrity,character and has no baggage he can be quite a catch. But your man has none of that. So I ask again, if you feel you have so much to offer,why do you settle for so little?

 

Completely agree with this. Water seeks its own level. A beautiful, accomplished woman with good self esteem is not gonna pick a guy with nothing at all going for him PLUS a married one on top of all that.

[BlissfullyWhich]

I have alot to focus on right now.. which is a nice change as in my previous job I became really good at and the challenge and brain storming was gone. While MM is on my mind, he's far from my main thought.

 

This is such an interesting statement. As someone pointed out to me when I kept saying "I'm okay, I'll be fine," fact of the matter is that while many of us are in better places emotionally than others, your MM is very much on your mind by your very presence here and some of the threads you've started. That's not a bad thing. I'm glad you have a place to feel safe. However...

 

Sounds to me like you're ready for him to leave/ wondering why he hasn't left (or maybe even trying to figure out how to get him to leave) his wife for you because of all you have to offer.

 

This is just my observation.

[waytogo]

You do know, those looks will fade, your body will morph, and not in a good way, right? That's life. Yet, here you sit, wasting your youth and looks on a big fat nothing. I don't even get that you're into this guy. What is your payoff? Is it just the thrill, or satisfaction of pretending you have something that isn't yours? Does it somehow make you feel superior? I admit, I don't get you at all.

 

If you're so (self-proclaimed) all that, why settle for the Ford when you believe you deserve (or think you are) the Porsche?

 

Dang Wiser, you sure got me on this one. When I came home today I put on shorts that used to be loose, they only just fit now

I don't eat any more than I used to and I've always eaten much more of the 'right foods' than other. Welcome me to 40's! Physiology does change through no fault of our own.

 

Character is what each of us would do the best for ourselves to give our focus, lasts a lifetime. Make no mistake, I failed miserably at times in this regard. My saving grace was I never stopped caring about it, who I wanted to be...and if I were to officially join my life with another, what kind of person would I really want? Found him available, committed, hardworking and 5-10 lbs on me doesn't change his commitment to me.

 

My commitment to better character brought me to someone with the same character, though he was advanced in this when we got together...IMO, this is the ultamate

[HopingAgain]

I do agree that beautiful women are powerful and that in general they know it. But ONLY when that beauty is coupled with reasonable intellect and confidence. Otherwise a womans beauty becomes a tool to be manipulated by others. When a woman has to constantly convince herself and others that she's the hottest thing going, that's not confidence and that's usually not enough for a quality man looking for substance and the whole package.

[waterwoman]

L'il, I am totally convinced you are lovely, feminine, successful. No reason to believe otherwise. But what about him? Is he really worth all this angst?

[Journee]

This type of thinking always interests me. Mostly because beauty is pretty case by case. Younger , thinner , blonder , taller etc. does not necessarily equal more appealing or desirable. Women come in so many different packages it cannot be an easy task to place them in two categories ... ugly ... pretty. Not that simple in my opinion. Some women carry themselves in a way that can be very alluring despite not having "classic" beauty. Some have curves that run their body like a winding highway that the svelte cannot mirror. Even a strand or two of gray hair peeking through wild hair can and will catch a man's attention. It's too simple minded to place too much value in this kind of competitiveness.

 

It reminds me of a time about ten years ago when an ex boyfriend of mine contacted me on MySpace. I was probably going on 19 at the time. I had not seen this ex in at least a year or so. Anyway, he basically wrote that he wished that I was the one about to have his first child. That he missed me and would always love me. That he just didn't love his current gf like he should. His gf intercepted the message and was hurt ( as she should have been). She chose to take out her frustration on me. She was thoroughly frustrated that her bf could had ever loved someone that had my particular skin pigmentation. I was every ignorant and racist name in the book. She couldn't call me ugly of fat. She ccouldn't speak on my character or anything that really mattered. She zeroed in on what was blatantly obvious. She was white and I wasn't. We couldn't be more different and I think that scared her. Even though I had zero intention of fanning that old flame .. it didn't matter.

 

That situation always bothered me and I couldn't help but think of her when I read this. I wasn't an OW but by God to her I might as well had been. Degrading me must had took some of the sting away. Was I better looking? I was just different. Different than her. No one better or worse. Just different. He must had found something attractive about us both to have dated either of us ( not at the same time).

 

Maybe it does make some MP feel better but it really isn't a compliment IMO. Looks fade and unfortunately some people who are beautiful on the outside just are not on the inside.

 

Beauty is subjective. It isn't cut and dry. It can be swayed for so many different reasons. It can be wiped away in a flash.

[Got it]

I get it, as the OW(M), generally we put more effort into every small detail before, during and after a xyz (your typical encounter with MM(W)), we understand there's BS and a competition for MM(W) love & time. So I get that in itself would be a boost of ego.

 

But that could come from any emotionally invested OW. Does having a "Hot" OW , "head turning" OW boost their ego? Like having a Porche but you have to keep it in your garage.... like no ego boosting gratification.. just a secret porche.

 

But I read a couple things online that suggests MM(W) get the "biggest" ego boost from the "Hottness/youthfulness" of the OW over the emotional and supportive factors.

 

Wow, okay. First off I never felt I was in any competition. Like anyone with a life, there are other priorities that need attention but I did not feel that I needed to compete for time. I expected X amount of time and I got it. I compromised when needed, like I would for anyone, and I maintained my expectations.

 

Yes I think in any dynamic where there is a major age difference, especially male to female there is an ego stroke with her being younger. My father (single) dates women who are decades younger than him because he can. There is nothing there, for him, but ego stroking. He has said that he didn't get to get these hot women when he was younger, and now that he is free and has the financial gains to attract them, he pursues them. Whatever. I dislike it but it is his life.

 

For him, he has a number of issues, has a major KISA complex so is attracted to women that need fixing, has self esteem issues out the yazoo so thinks that money is the only thing going for him, and he is still chasing the approval of his dead mother so it is a lovely soup of dysfunction.

[Got it]

In regards to myself, he tells me that men look at me, I really don't notice and I don't try to notice. Contrary to popular myth, attracting the opposite sex is not a priority for me and I usually avoid it. I am not comfortable being the center of attention. So while yes I know I am attractive, I am far more concerned with my brains, achievements, and interests and would much rather be noticed and appreciated for those. I dress nice for me, but it is not usually to call attention to myself. I don't like to be "out on display". And I hate being ogled at. I feel like one is a slab of meat.

 

I am younger than my husband and younger than his ex wife (but only by a few years). We are all three pretty attractive people in different ways but definitely not the MOST attractive people. Just normal, run of the mill, people.

[Pierre]

So wait, you all are under the impression the ops avatar is really her???

 

We don't know what she looks like? But, we know what the personality looks like. Lil G has the perfect OW personality. She is a philanderer's dream.

 

BTW, why would a very attractive woman decide to go the passive OW route? Can beautiful women run out of options?

[Speakingofwhich]

So wait, you all are under the impression the ops avatar is really her???

 

Could easily be. But, I have worked in the beauty industry on both sides of the camera.

 

And I can tell you it's naive to judge a person's appearance by a professional photo of them. Photographers and artists get paid big money to create the fantasy of beauty!

 

Even the low-end photography franchises use photoshop these days and, heck! they even photoshop the pics in our church directory now!

 

Not to make a judgment about Lil's appearance.

 

Just don't believe everything you see!

[Got it]

Its a very interesting social phenomena that so many posters assume the OP is beautiful b/c she uses pictures of a beautiful blonde in her avatar.

 

I would HOPE eveyrone on here realizes these are stock photos she is using.

 

She has said she is attrative and "turns head", and I have seen other OW posters say similar things. Fact is, no one has any idea what she or anyone looks like who isnt posting an actual picture of themself.

 

Just want everyone who didnt know to realize these are stock photos. (Plus as she has said before, she is very nervous about her MM or his BW stumbling upon this site and ID'ing her based on her stories, so obviously she isnt going to use her real picture anyway)

 

Good lord. I think most people are just taking what she is saying as "fact" to be able to move on to her questions. If we are going to question every piece shouldn't we question if there is even any truth to the storyline and this isn't actually a bald, middle age fat man eating cheetos at his computer spinning yarns?

 

To be able to converse you have to make some reasonable leaps of acceptance to just move forward with a discussion.

[Got it]

Well yes, obviously when you respond to a poster, you are going on the assumption their situation is real and not made up.

 

But what Im referring to is, I have seen so many posters say things under an assumption she is drop dead beautiful, which I think they are basing on her avatar. Or people will just volunteer that she is beautiful (i.e. "Lil I know you are beaitful woman, but you need to....etc etc).

 

too many poeple are basing their perception of her beauty on her avatar, which is not her. Simple google image search can telly ou that.

 

Because she has said she is a beautiful woman so they are taking what she says and running with it.

 

I am not saying some do but I think many are just taking the premise that the OP states and extrapolate from there.

 

And who cares if she is or if she isn't? Why is it a big deal to have to mention the possibly she isn't physically pretty? I think the big picture message anyway here is "pretty is as pretty does" and it really doesn't amount to a hill of beans.

[bentleychic]

So wait, you all are under the impression the ops avatar is really her???

 

I don't know about Lil, but my avatar is totally me. I AM a cartoon character.

[CALOVELY]

 

 

 

And the W... The cozy, comfortable shoes that you can't understand what he sees in her... He CHOSE her for a reason. She makes his life easier. She ADDS value. Women overestimate the value men place on looks in choosing a W.

 

He chose her for many reasons and beauty is one of them. I have never met a man in my life who married a woman he didn't find beautiful. If anything, a MM is willing to overlook the physical attractiveness of an OW in favor of her availability.

[LilGirlandOW]

We don't know what she looks like? But, we know what the personality looks like. Lil G has the perfect OW personality. She is a philanderer's dream.

 

BTW, why would a very attractive woman decide to go the passive OW route? Can beautiful women run out of options?

 

Pierre I will send you my picture! lol:laugh:

[LilGirlandOW]

I don't know about Lil, but my avatar is totally me. I AM a cartoon character.

 

I even imagine you with a sweet cute little cartoon voice, lol