mikeskullx Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Something that I've had to deal with quite a lot of (not being sexist, but women especially) is the act of cowardice. I recently dated someone who I liked a lot. Two months into it, she dropped the friend card on me. You know what, that's fine. **** her and her stupid dog anyway. I know two months isn't really anything, but you know what, I was really into her and it hurt a lot. The problem I have is she wasn't mature enough to give me a reason. I asked, she said there was no reason. I asked her for the real reason, she ignored me. Bull****. My friends, if you're going to break up with someone/reject them etc. and you've known them for a considerable amount of time, at least be an adult and explain what's going on in your head. You are not sparing feelings by withholding information, you actually make it worse by not being direct. I'm not saying be cruel and tell them they're ugly, but my god... Have the decency to know you are breaking a heart. People can get on with their lives much quicker if they don't have to second guess every ****ing thing they did. Don't be cowards.. Especially you women out there. That's all. 1
TaraMaiden Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 When a woman tells you there's no reason - believe her. That means "You just don't do it for me, but you'd surely do it for someone else." In other words, it really ISN'T you, it really IS me. 'Cowardly' would have just been dropping you like a hot brick, going no contact, blocking your number and refusing to speak with you ever again. At least she told you she was dropping the friend card on you. That's not cowardly, actually. That's you just taking it too personally. remember, there are other guys out there for whom she won't do it for. She's not everybody's type either. Is that a problem for her? No. It's not a problem for anyone. it is what it is. but it's not cowardly. 2
Author mikeskullx Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) Thank you for your reply. Forgive me Tara, I neglected to say that she did start to ignore me. I had asked her to dinner one night, and she did not respond to me for a week... Just like that, started ignoring me. When she finally did respond, all she said was I'm sorry. I had to get her to clarify and I practically forced the friend zone text out of her. Tell me though, how does it take two months to figure out you're not into someone? I think that's just cruel You know what... It doesn't matter. I'm not with her right? Who cares. My situation is meaningless. The point of this post is I just wish more people had decent tendencies when breaking up with someone. Edited August 8, 2013 by mikeskullx
Author mikeskullx Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 I'm sorry that happened. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You can do a lot better than someone like that.
TaraMaiden Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Okay, I see; well, in that case, I'm sorry she behaved that way. I don't call it cowardly, I call it bloody rude, inconsiderate and rather selfish. However, I'm not denying cowards exist, though.... 1
Woop1337 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 She broke up with you, it's going to be unpleasant regardless. You want a power point presentation? On why she only likes you as a friend. When someone drops you, the why don't matter. Just look at the bottom line.
Atem Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 She broke up with you, it's going to be unpleasant regardless. You want a power point presentation? On why she only likes you as a friend. When someone drops you, the why don't matter. Just look at the bottom line. I have to disagree here. The why does matter because you may (and I mean may - not always the case) be able to learn from your experience with that girl and make sure that you don't fall into the same situation in the future (again, no guarantees but at least you'd have a data point). Maybe its just my analytical mind speaking here but I always want to collect as much data as possible on both failures & successes. The question then becomes whether the data you get is actually true or pure BS to let you down easy - but that's for another discussion 2
strongnrelaxed Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Two things: 1. A woman will never tell you the truth. It could be for a million reasons, but you will never ever get the straight scoop from a woman. Only men will be blunt with you in the way you need. 2. If you were to be honest with a woman, she might throw a huge fit and start refuting little details while ignoring the big picture. Women of all ages will admit this if you ask enough of them. Why then, would you expect her to be honest with you with the expectation of an argument and a major drama? Find a strong and honest woman and this sort of thing almost becomes moot. 1
TaraMaiden Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Two things: 1. A woman will never tell you the truth. It could be for a million reasons, but you will never ever get the straight scoop from a woman. Only men will be blunt with you in the way you need. Is that why one of my exes lied and trickle truth-ed for 2 years, even after I dumped him? Blunt? yeah, sure..... he was about as useful as a blunt razor blade... 2. If you were to be honest with a woman, she might throw a huge fit and start refuting little details while ignoring the big picture. Women of all ages will admit this if you ask enough of them. Ask me, go on. Ask me. I don't play those games, as my posts on here will attest. The people who most throw 'huge fits' are usually guys, because they remain immature until into their forties. Fact. Find a strong and honest woman and this sort of thing almost becomes moot. Well, According to you, 'A woman will never tell you the truth". So how's he going to find a 'strong and honest woman' if you've just taught him no such creature exists....? You're so full of it. And that's the truth.
LBean Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Strong, yeah... Men never lie, or trickle truth, or ignore you... Never happens. Lots of people suck on both sides of the fence. Have you not read some of the heartbreak on here??? I'm sorry she was so inconsiderate, after 2 months of dating that's total bs. I've never let the "Ignore" tactic bother me though, I figure if someone doesn't have the nads to at least tell me they're not interested, I really want nothing to do with them.
pyramid Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I have to disagree here. The why does matter because you may (and I mean may - not always the case) be able to learn from your experience with that girl and make sure that you don't fall into the same situation in the future (again, no guarantees but at least you'd have a data point). I had a breakup like this once and there wasn't one big reason... it was a slew of little things, that when added up, meant I couldn't stand the guy after a while. Any of them on their own wouldn't have been a reason to end things. Yes, he was upset when "my feelings have changed" and "I don't think we're right for each other" were all I could give him. And yes, it does take two months (or more) to figure out if you are into/not into someone.
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