skeoch100 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Hello! My Story in a nutshell - 6 months ago I broke up with my, ex the anxiety and sadness I experienced, during the start and end of the relationship was hardcore and made me realise I had a few issues!! I had some therapy (still ongoing) and it all comes down to abandonment issues, I was very close to my mum who ran off with my dads friend when I was 16... I was very insecure with girls before, so this really effected me on a subconscious level. After some bad and good relationships over the last few years all of my past hurts seemed to culminate in this break up and i felt truly awful over the last 6 months.... I have been slowly trying to get back to my old self, however anytime I try and date, or if i meet someone and have a little kiss, or basically any kind of romantic contact with women I am rewarded with massive waves of anxiety and fear, then sadness!! I feel a massive desire to meet someone and have a connection, and at times very lonely... but when I try and act on it I freak out!! Is this just a time thing? should I wait until I feel 100% on my own? Or will I always be this sensitive and just man up and start dating again? The latter freaks me out as I really hate the feelings I get.. Any input would be great, im starting to think Im a bit broken and destined to be an old lonely man with many cats!!!! Thanks Guys
mikeskullx Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 My friend, have no fear. You will not become a crazy cat person First off, it sounds like you're not over the ex. Are you? Has your therapist diagnosed you with depression? He/she may recommend medication for the future. Everything will be alright. Don't worry.
Author skeoch100 Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 Hi Mikeskullz, thanks for the reply, really appreciated! I guess im not over her no, I realize we were not 100% right for each other so parting was for the best, but im struggling to shake off this attachment to her... and think about and idealize her alot still, which i know is so false, but tricky to stop!. Yes mt therapist said i have a anxiety disorder relating to relationships stemming from childhood, i was already on 20mg paxil from a previous relationship event (girlfriend moving in) which triggered an anxiety episode, yeeeesh!! I had got down to 10mg, but cranked it back up to 20 when the s*** hit the fan this time!! I guess I have been through alot this past few years, my ex ex was horrible and treated myself and herself (tried to end her life) terribly!! so maybe a period of time to build up my confidence again is best??? I have the opportunity to date a lovely girl, no strings or expectations as she does not want a relationship, part of me thinks this is great to help move on, but the other part knows ill prob have to deal with alot of anx, not sure whats the best move? maybe become a Eunuch and move to Alaska??
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