chulero Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 I was with my ex for almost two years, then we had a pretty bad break up. We didn't talk for about 6 months with the exception of her calling every 3 weeks or so. I called her on her b-day which opened the doors for communication. We started just talking like once a week, and now we talk everyother day. We also see each other about once a week. How do I know what she wants either friends or more? I want more, but not sure if she does. She still gets bitchy when other girls call if I am with her, I still have a key to her car and other stuff of hers. Should I continue to wait things out, or should i talk to her and see what she really wants out of our relationship? I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep just being friends with her, unless she tells me that we have no chance of getting back together. But I do love her enough that whatever makes her happy I will be ok with. Any suggestions? Please help
bluechocolate Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 How long have you been back in contact? ----------------- Depending on that amount of time I think you should talk to her (I take it she's not currently dating?). You could both be playing a waiting game, in which case there's the possibility that she'll get bored of playing & give up. Plus, you say that you won't mind just being friends if that is her decision, so why not find out sooner rather than later? What you're doing right now is just wasting time. If it's just friends she wants then pull back on the contact a bit, doesn't mean you can't be friends, but you need to make yourself available to other women too & hanging out with your ex all the time isn't going to enhance your chances in that department.
Author chulero Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate How long have you been back in contact? ----------------- Depending on that amount of time I think you should talk to her (I take it she's not currently dating?). You could both be playing a waiting game, in which case there's the possibility that she'll get bored of playing & give up. Plus, you say that you won't mind just being friends if that is her decision, so why not find out sooner rather than later? What you're doing right now is just wasting time. If it's just friends she wants then pull back on the contact a bit, doesn't mean you can't be friends, but you need to make yourself available to other women too & hanging out with your ex all the time isn't going to enhance your chances in that department. We have been in contact since the end of August. She was dating when we first started talking again, but then broke up with him 2 weeks later. She also told me that she didn't want to date/ have sex with anyone unless she was in love with him.
sjs61 Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 I say it in a way that may seem so rude but remember you're not a can of soup or a pillow to be tossed around. Find your weak spots about why she left meaning did you insult anyone of her family members and/or herself? Like the saying goes... "the truth hurts or face the truth." I guess what I am saying is communication is the key but I've just separated from my husband 3 mos ago and just a week ago he indicated my voice irriated him I'm assuming I nag too much but I don't see it that way. When the touch of her heart fills yours than all of a sudden the heart drains and leaves you empty with assumptions and/or confusions just try to give her space but remember you're human as well as her. The waiting game isn't fair on your part when you can give your love to a person worth giving it to. I say talk to her... let me know your status even after you get this cause it seems we are both alike cause I wonder how long this separation will be and should I think of divorce or do the waiting game...
Author chulero Posted November 3, 2004 Author Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by sjs61 I say it in a way that may seem so rude but remember you're not a can of soup or a pillow to be tossed around. Find your weak spots about why she left meaning did you insult anyone of her family members and/or herself? Like the saying goes... "the truth hurts or face the truth." I guess what I am saying is communication is the key but I've just separated from my husband 3 mos ago and just a week ago he indicated my voice irriated him I'm assuming I nag too much but I don't see it that way. When the touch of her heart fills yours than all of a sudden the heart drains and leaves you empty with assumptions and/or confusions just try to give her space but remember you're human as well as her. The waiting game isn't fair on your part when you can give your love to a person worth giving it to. I say talk to her... let me know your status even after you get this cause it seems we are both alike cause I wonder how long this separation will be and should I think of divorce or do the waiting game... Will do. I last called her on Sunday and haven't talked to her since. Should I wait for her to call? or Do I call her?
bluechocolate Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 Originally posted by chulero We have been in contact since the end of August. She was dating when we first started talking again, but then broke up with him 2 weeks later. She also told me that she didn't want to date/ have sex with anyone unless she was in love with him. I think if she stopped dating some guy 2 weeks after after you two started talking again & that was almost 3 months ago - well, talk to her. Find out what her intentions are. If she doesn't know then you have to decide how long you're willing to wait. Personally I wouldn't wait very much longer.
sjs61 Posted November 6, 2004 Posted November 6, 2004 E. (Extra) T. (Time): Extra time is what you need? My husband did the same thing when we were dating. He would call only for money, sex, place to crash or a free meal. I know your heart wants to hang on but WHY???? You're not Pizza Hut or a Pizza to Go... she cannot place her order and than expect your slices to be there waiting for her "needs." Did you figure out what may have caused her to be so unpredictable? Why she leaves you hanging? Please let me know your situation as it prevails... All the advice or opinions may not be good for now but I am 43 and believe me you need to look at your health and future. With all these mixed signals from my husband for the last 13 yrs has made me a very weak person. I have lost my confidence and self-esteem. I wonder now if I can ever trust any man so I know right now "trust" is extremely hard for you cause your subconscious mind is probably will always have that doubts and trust lurking around. This is what may have caused my husband to have separated. The trust wasn't never there besides he likes women so you being male you may know what I mean by that sorta. I just hope the Lord will bless your heart and soul even if you're not a spirtual person but they say Surrender it to the Lord and he'll provide your needs. For a change it always the women who they pity but we have to give some men some pity because no relationship is a good relationship if it deals with your heart and soul. Smile and Be Happy!!!!!
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