OW/OM, Have you ever seen MM's/MW's SO?

[jlola]

It's same as romantic relationships, the gap matters less the more mature we are.

 

I can't imagine hanging out with a 46 year old when I was 20. Or vice versa.

 

A 66 yo when I'm 46 seems far less unusual.

 

Actually they are 26 years apart . So 46 years would be hanging around with 72. That would be weird.

 

I have a lot of aunts that are older. My mother is 65. Love them all, but to hang out as friends, I guess once in awhile would be ok.

 

I think age gap relationships as you are older become more of an issue. A man who is 40,50,60 may be healthy. But as he gets older the aging exelarates.

 

It is common now for my mother to be talking about many of the older (mostly men) in her generation who are getting sick. Many have wives who are an average of about 5 years younger but are now taking care of them. It seems the women's health issues are usually better.

 

I understand a 10 year age gap. But 20-30?

If I were 50, I would not think I would want to be married to a man who is 76?

 

look at Halley Berry. At 46 hardly a wrinkle. Cannot imagine her with a man of 72.

 

It is tough to see some of my friends and relatives taking care of older parents. It is stressful and wearing. Add a husband who is the same age as your parents and declining health it can make life complicated.

 

Not saying everyone will get sick as they age. But chances are high with age gaps you may play nursemaid.

 

Interestingly, I have rarely seen a man who is willing to marry a woman 20-30 years older. I wonder why since men die off faster than women?

[solostand]

I had slept with him two times before he even said her name. At that point I didn't care.

 

Then one day, he took me to his house on the pretense of picking up his dog to take it to the dog wash. So he showed me all through his house. He pointed out the couch and said "This is where I'm lying when I think of you"

 

Anyway I saw family pictures of them on the wall and it jarred me immensely. There they were, Mom, Dad, two grown children. I had a good look at her and thought she looked well looked after. . .I also had creepy guilt even BEING in her house. . .if she knew he had brought his mistress to her home, how angry would she be! Also weird guilt gettiing to know the dog. . .

 

Later, I saw her in person and felt bad again. Like, she seems like a nice person. If she knew the atomic bomb that's above her head!

 

If I ever saw them together I would freak.

 

Anyway, this site is helping me immensely. It takes me out of the fantasy bubble immediately when normally I would float around there for days after a few crumbs, lol.

[Speakingofwhich]

Later, I saw her in person and felt bad again. Like, she seems like a nice person. If she knew the atomic bomb that's above her head!

 

If I ever saw them together I would freak.

 

Anyway, this site is helping me immensely. It takes me out of the fantasy bubble immediately when normally I would float around there for days after a few crumbs, lol.

 

One of the things that concerned me the most in my A was the lack of perspective she and I both had.

[Speakingofwhich]

When we cleaned out the house after she moved out, I came across a box of old photos she'd left. She had been quite pretty when she was young. There was even one where she was smiling.

 

It made me feel sad that she was consigning her entire past to the scrap heap.

 

Ya, can't imagine throwing away all my old pics! Awful as they are, they are such a link to my history!

[Speakingofwhich]

One day I'd like to be able to stand before this woman and have a civil conversation with no bitterness from either of us.

 

Do you have any idea (or plan) how that could happen? Are there children involved?