Author IAmRobot Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 Oh in that case, you really having nothing to worry about. Just ask her to keep clear boundaries and stop with the cat thing because it is making you uncomfortable... but also, she already work with him daily, why would she wants to see her boss even over the weekend and is the boss there when she goes to cat sit? I assume he is unless she has his keys... in any case, if she like cat so much she can just go to a humane society to volunteer... He drives the cat to her place and she stays there for the weekend. I asked her if they ever were hung out one on one with the cat. She told me it was only once for like 10 mins once at a park. But again this is just a stupid question since they are alone almost everyday at work, so one on one time is not a problem :/. And the boundaries ARE crucial, but I just don't know what they are anymore, since it's obvious they're going to have one on one time at work whether I want it or not... and that's part of our boundary I think. (not hanging out one on one constantly with on person of the other sex)
BradJacobs Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Here's the catch. I honestly fully believe she would never cheat on me. So said a lot of men and women who have been cheated on. Do what makes you happy. She's doing what makes her happy else she wouldn't be participating in the conversations about his dating life. She wants his attention. It may never develop into a physical relationship but the fact of the matter is that she enjoys it else she'd put a stop to it. 2
Author IAmRobot Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 So said a lot of men and women who have been cheated on. Do what makes you happy. She's doing what makes her happy else she wouldn't be participating in the conversations about his dating life. She wants his attention. It may never develop into a physical relationship but the fact of the matter is that she enjoys it else she'd put a stop to it. That's what I think. But on the other hand, I do discuss my friends (girls and guys) dating life. So it would make sense that if they're friends they share things about their lives and dating lives, just say how she shares with her girl friends. But on the other hand she tells me they're not friends, so I'm like WTF. At the point where you don't know where you stand with this specific person, how can I....
phineas Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 OP, i bet I know what he was doing that hr he made you wait. j/k. so you never hang out with her on the weekend at her place. at all?
truth_seeker Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 I hate to say this, but 1. she sees her boss as higher status than you. 2. she is attracted to him 3. he is attracted to her 4. they want to date each other, and want you out 5. they have not slept with each other, but are angling for ways to push you out: her dropping hints, him making you wait an hour. 6. she is deliberately trying to antagonize you, and so is he. You are being set up. I can see her wanting him out but if I'm the boss, I would sleep with her while she still has the bf. This way when the boss is done with her, she has her bf to go crying to.
strongnrelaxed Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Here's the catch. I honestly fully believe she would never cheat on me. ...She also gets very jealous of my female friend... As a man who is going through a divorce and had to deal with struggles like this (on both sides) for over 20 years, I can tell you one thing for certain. Both of your comments above are dangerous. It is crucial that a woman create a comfort zone with her man such that he believes that she will never cheat. This is true until it is not true. Women cheat as much as, if not more than, men. They just hide it more. It is also a huge red flag when she is jealous. I found this out the hard way too. Some would call this projection. A woman who is raised to be a "good girl" can feel suspicious when she herself is being bad. If she is good, and she is cheating/flirting etc, then you being a man - you MUST be doing worse! I am sorry to say that whether she is cheating or not, you will feel this way for the rest of your relationship. You have been warned. You should find a way to end this before it ends you. This is not me being bitter or angry - just brutally honest. I didn't listen to the older men who warned me and I paid a hefty price. I wish you better luck.
phineas Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 As a man who is going through a divorce and had to deal with struggles like this (on both sides) for over 20 years, I can tell you one thing for certain. Both of your comments above are dangerous. It is crucial that a woman create a comfort zone with her man such that he believes that she will never cheat. This is true until it is not true. Women cheat as much as, if not more than, men. They just hide it more. It is also a huge red flag when she is jealous. I found this out the hard way too. Some would call this projection. A woman who is raised to be a "good girl" can feel suspicious when she herself is being bad. If she is good, and she is cheating/flirting etc, then you being a man - you MUST be doing worse! I am sorry to say that whether she is cheating or not, you will feel this way for the rest of your relationship. You have been warned. You should find a way to end this before it ends you. This is not me being bitter or angry - just brutally honest. I didn't listen to the older men who warned me and I paid a hefty price. I wish you better luck. Good advice. Post divorced guy here, i honestly would not even waste the time thinking about this situation with a GF. I'd just get out of it.
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