seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 17, 2013 Posted August 17, 2013 6 days NC and it's been hard. Feel so lonley and sad. Constantly imagining what he's doing..if he's thinking about me. Hate this.
Author Talulah Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 59 DAYS!!!!!!!! Now what? How do you feel towards them?
templeofmax Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 How do you feel towards them? I love her and want her back!!!! It has helped me heal, but I have hope it will also make her wonder since I was always there before, and even post BU, for two months, not too intense, but I was texting, etc, and she ignoring. Its like she had me wrapped around her finger, or so I wish to think. I guess more NC, more healing and only time will tell.
PootieMandela Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 Day 6 of NC. Same day I blocked her Facebook/Twitter accounts, phone number, the works. About once every two days she tries to reach out to me somehow. But they go completely ignored. Its hard, admittedly, to not reply. October 10th will be 60 days.
Author Talulah Posted August 18, 2013 Author Posted August 18, 2013 I had a really bad today, I really missed him. I want to talk to him but I know I shouldn't. It's good to stop talking about him as well.
JDPT Posted August 18, 2013 Posted August 18, 2013 I had a really bad today, I really missed him. I want to talk to him but I know I shouldn't. It's good to stop talking about him as well. Just observe your thoughts and watch them come and go, don't add fuel to the fire. When you starve it of fuel the fire will put itself out. You will catch yourself adding fuel (encouraging these thoughts) when you do, mentally step back and just observe you will see that these thoughts as stated previously will just come and go, nothing more. 1
headinthecloud Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 We officially BU 6wks ago after dating for 6mos and I stopped reaching out to him immediately but after 4wks I had to break NC bc I needed to get my key and security card back - something he promised to send me. It's been 10 days since I broke NC about the key and he still hasn't sent it. I've had a really hard time in those first 4wks too and it made it even harder not to think about him. I really thought he was the one - but like some people - I ignored all the red flags and believed his words, not his actions. And yesterday, I broke down, I searched him on social media and found out that he's been seeing ("hanging out") with one of his ex gfs. I know we're not meant to be together but it sucks that he won't return my stuff especially after everything I did for him. I thought he was such a great guy but it turns out I was really wrong. I'm chalking the experience up to an important lesson about myself. I've never fallen so hard and then fought so hard to keep us together. I couldn't trust him. He did nothing to earn my trust after he broke it, either. And now i'm pretty sure he cheated on me too. But I guess it all doesn't matter now. I'm moving on. NC and he can't keep the key because I already changed the locks. It's just sad, because I feel I let myself down - having poor judgement, ignoring the signs, and for believe in him when what I should have done was BU at the first red flag as I my gut told me to but I ignored it. Now I will mark today as Day 1 NC and will really start moving on with my life. But I still wish him much love and happiness - I wish it for us both, separately.
B1989 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 30 days today. Mixed emotions still. Stay up y'all.
reddragon588 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 Yesterday was my first real day of NC. I haven't actually called or texted or messages with her in over two weeks, but I had been still checking her social media profiles, at points fairly obsessively. Yesterday was my first day with no checking her social media. It was really hard but also very helpful. Every time I wanted to check, I took ten deep breaths and asked myself if that's really what I wanted to do, knowing that checking would only hurt me further and cause my recovery to take a set back for at least the restof that day, but likely longer. It sucks, it's the first day in over three years where I have literally had no contact, but I know this is the right step for me to move forward. 3
iouaname Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 I am beginning today. I sent him a message saying that I apologized for inserting myself into his life and that out of respect for him and his new relationship, I will go my own way. So now I start NC. He and I are still a part of a similar social group, but I'm not going to engage him at all. Not even so much as a friendly hello. 2
turkey21 Posted August 19, 2013 Posted August 19, 2013 On Day 4...Ignored all his calls and texts including yesterdays...feeling somewhat proud but very lonely as he is on vacation with his new girlfriend. sigh
PootieMandela Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 Day 13... And while its still hard to not pick up the phone and text or check the facebook or whatever, it's getting easier.
supaflyz Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 It has been over 60 days for me. I have actually lost track of how many actual days it has been. I just know that it has been over 60. It does get easier. I mean the weekends could get a little sad. Not mainly because of her. Its more like I can't find people to hang out with or my friends bail out on me. Then I think to myself well I wish I was still with her because she usually stays over the weekend. I miss her company more than I miss her now. I got to this point because I lost hope. I realized she wouldn't come back. She came back all the other times, but this time is truly it. There are still good and bad days, but those are also happening less. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 24, 2013 Posted August 24, 2013 I'm a wreck. After buzzin off a few glasses of wine I decided to drive by his house down the street at night to see if his lights were on. I wasn't intending to stop by..I just wanted to know that he was home. Really stupid and pointless. His lights were out and i know he wasnt home and I started having crazy thoughts about where he could be, who was He with..During our relationship he never went out or met up with friends even when I was out. I called my sister crying and saying irrational, drunk sh-t. I feel horrible. I should've never driven by. He could have been asleep, gone on a business trip, whatever...It's none of my business. I was expecting he would be home, watching tv falling asleep as he always had before. Imagining he could be out on a date killed me. Still, this is the reality. We're not together and nothing changes that fact. Home or not home... We're still broken up and I'm not allowing myself to heal when I do this sh-t. I'm pissed at myself and horribly depressed today.
Author Talulah Posted August 25, 2013 Author Posted August 25, 2013 A couple of days ago I left my job and I am on my way back returning to the U.S. While vacationing in Thailand today, I couldn't stop thinking about him, us, blaming myself, crying. Then, I went online and searched for quotes on what guys really mean when they ask for space et cetera and for the first time I am able to acknowledge the truth or hear the hard cold truth, that he just didn't care enough for me. I know that he did but he chose his career over me. And who knows whether he is not 'mature' enough or wants to act like a child. He made a choice and let me go. He told me that he did not want to stress me out and that he wanted me to make good decisions for myself and that he is letting me go because he doesn't want to make me upset, sad, or angry anymore. The truth is I love him to pieces still and I really wish that he'd done the same. But maybe he did me a favor. And now I feel stupid that I acted like a wuzz after the break-up. I guess I am ready to let him go
lalalovekay Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Day 7, the day just started but im finding it hard. I still hope to get a call from him. Tomorrow is my birthday and when our 7 months was susppose to happen and we were suppose to spend it in disneyland. I thought forsure he would at least contact me by now. Tomorrow is my last day of hope. For I wish he wishes me a happy birthdag and tells me he misses me. Because I miss him so much. Tomorrow is also his first day of third year of university, I know he'll be occupied with his things but I just hope to cross his mind for at least a little bit. ...
theonlyjuan Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Let go of hope of them contacting you! If it happens it happens, deal with it then. You will struggle if your hanging on to hope 1
JDPT Posted August 25, 2013 Posted August 25, 2013 Today would have been 31 days NC, however, I screwed up last night and decided to drive by her house to accomplish absolutely nothing. I surprisingly didn't feel terribly bad but the suspense did bother me. I managed to discover the root of what lead me driving by her home. I have many friends on the other side of town from where my ex lives, these are my friends and not mutual. I decided to spend the weekend with my friends and I believe being in the same town is what lead to me driving by her home, as I was subconsciously thinking of her and knowing I was not too far from her. I know now to stay away from that town for a VERY long time. I must eliminate all stimuli that may lead me acting against my better judgment. 1
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 After my little freakout a couple days ago after passing my ex's house, he text me the next day saying that he wanted to say hi and hoped that I was doing well and that this has been hard on him. Doesn't change anything between us but it comforted me to know that he was thinking about me...
reddragon588 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 The last couple days have been hard, as she has been texting me because I deleted her on Facebook and Instagram. She sent me some texts accusing me of being immature and mean, saying I'm trying to erase the relationship but I can't. I want to respond that this is not about erasing the past but shaping the future. I haven't responded to her. I'm not sure if I should or if I should continue to not respond.
reddragon588 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 The last couple days have been hard, as she has been texting me because I deleted her on Facebook and Instagram. She sent me some texts accusing me of being immature and mean, saying I'm trying to erase the relationship but I can't. I want to respond that this is not about erasing the past but shaping the future. I haven't responded to her. I'm not sure if I should or if I should continue to not respond. Considering responding to her today. I don't know if I should or not though.
malin819 Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 dont its for youre own good unless she comes out with an apology or wants a serious talk I would not even bother They go crazy when they are ignored
Mrfr Posted August 26, 2013 Posted August 26, 2013 I'm on day..... 17 or 18. I can't imagine breaking it now unless she texts me, not sure if I'll respond with a short answer or NC. Prob NC to be honest. I'm doing fine now, more or less. 1
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