Will my ex-girlfriend come back to me? Please help me:(((((

[denis]

Maria (21) and Denis (22)

 

I started dating my girlfriend 3 years ago. We met in a night class that we didn't need to attend. (Chemistry Class) Shes an Italian catholic and I am Muslim, so she didn't introduce me to her family until 5 months ago. I was not practicing Muslim at the time, so I didn't think of the problems that may interrupt, and I didn't know the Italian tradition.

 

I have been the best boyfriend one could ever be. I don't drink, go out clubbing, I never socialized with girls too much. I never flirt. I was texting her every morning, night, skyped with her every week. I would be there every second for her (100% committed). She has told me multiple times that if she didn't met me she would look for a guy with all the qualities I possess, which is hard to find..

We were so committed and we would always spend time and be happy and almost never argue or be upset at each other. She was so in love with me that even little thing she would always pick up on and be jealous/insecure.

 

Her parents accepted me at first,(2 years into relationship when I met them) her dad even decided to take my tires to his garage for winter. Her mom would make me dinners, her sister liked me... I would always clean after my food when I eat, offer my help. I never spent time with her alone out of respect for her parents (So they don't think we're doing something bad).

 

I would always get into discussions with her father, who knew I was Muslim and would always ask me about politics, religion, society etc...

 

I was helping her sister with essays during my studying at night while her sister would be partying. I made her (my ex) go to college, and forced her to study. I made her better person, i made her be more respectful towards her parents and drink less as it is not classy. I have helped her use her reason rather than emotions when she's making a decision...I would always buy stuff for her mom and Dad when I would go over and be respectful and treat them amazing.

 

After few months her father told her that I am not type of a guy who wants to make a lot of money in the future. (Although I am studying double major in political science and sociology at University of Ottawa). He told her also to stop seeing me as it is not going to work due to our traditional and religious differences. He said I might change her and become extremist..

I was a man, I went to speak to him although he has never told me any of this. I confronted her parents in a respectful manner. Her dad told me he didn't want to take a chance because I am Muslim. I cried in front of him, pleased him but nothing.. He told her, that it is such a waste that I am perfect guy but Muslim.

After he brainwashed her, she was telling me later that it might not workout in the future because of our traditions, which she would never bring before ( before I met them and while i was going over)

 

Since then (, we have been hiding together for 3-4 months seeing in the car meeting at coffee places, she would come over, while her parents would call her and be concerned. At this point her father would always tell her to stop seeing me - the faster the better and the faster she will get over it.

 

Recently (4 weeks ago) she was very cold, I didn't know what it was..i saw her in a car few days later and asked her what it was and she started crying and hugging me and kissing..and kept kissing me...

 

Next couple of days she was cold again..I couldn't take it anymore so I asked her what was it? She told me the next day she was dealing with her own issues ...So i asked her did she want a break from me to see what she wants - thinking that she would never leave me due to her love for me.

 

She called me 10 minutes later and said 2 weeks break was fine... and 2nd day in a break I called her freaking out saying how much i miss her and love her and cant be without talking to her... She was upset and said we aren't supposed to talk during our break. I realized she was never talking to me like that. So cold, different person, different girl I knew... I asked her if she is trying to forget me? She said "maybe".. I realized, I got a long way to go.. I tried telling her that we didn't try a lot of other stuff like (counseling, letters to her dad - that I intended to write) she said it isn't worth it maybe and that no normal couples do this...At one point she even told me even if her parents accepted it she is not sure. But, when her parents liked me and had me over she was the happiest girl ever, so that tells me that it is all because of her parents...

 

One day after that, she called me and told me she doesn't want to waste my time and keep me waiting 2 weeks as our relationship wont work due to her father and traditional differences and different things she wants to do in the future (although I told her to do whatever she wants with kids as long as I can get to keep her....

 

It's been 3 weeks so far we haven't talked much..She has been so cold and so mean to me, in order to push me away..I have tried everything possible to get her back and make her be with me again. Her friends told me she loves me so much but cant continue due to so much anxiety and pressure and stress caused by hiding from her parents..

 

Will she come back? Does she love me? If she loved me would she leave her parents' opinion?She told me she wants to move on and forget as it is better for both of us but ....It's so hard i don't know what will happen...It's been about 4 weeks that we haven't talked much. Except little things and me trying so much to bring and draw those memories of us and our love, and how much we need each other...I have lost my mind trying so much, texting, calling all her friends. I have used every atom of my energy... Many of the friends we both knew that I met through her, ignored me... I talked to her friend (best friend) who told me Maria is trying to move on although she loves me so much...But their tradition is so important to them and her father is so stubborn and he wouldn't accept it.Her friend told me about 3 weeks ago that she wasn't able to eat sleep, talk properly how much she was sad...She said she never saw Maria cry so much before in 10 years knowing her. From knowing him and her, I know she fears him and she lives with him. He is a bully, mental psychopath...

 

What is going to happen? Someone help me..I love her so much she is my life.. People say if she truly loved me she would come back or fight for it, but shes a weak character, not strong and very emotional. She doesn't have strength for anything...

 

it's been few weeks that we havent spoke ...

 

PEOPLE PLEASE TELL ME SOME ADVICES AND WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN ...PLEASE MAY GOD REWARD YOU AND MAY YOU NEVER GO THROUGH THIS PAIN, AND TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE.

 

Thank you all

Edited August 8, 2013 by denis

[denis]

Any help is appreciated...

[Chi townD]

 

 

 

PEOPLE PLEASE TELL ME SOME ADVICES AND WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN ...PLEASE MAY GOD REWARD YOU AND MAY YOU NEVER GO THROUGH THIS PAIN, AND TERRIBLE EXPERIENCE.

 

 

 

LOL! Well, if you're coming here, then most of us have been through the kind of pain that you've been going through.

 

You've got two problems here and I can sum it up in two words. Italian and catholic.

 

Look, her Dad calling you an extremist was a bit harsh. Unfortunately, extremists have bent the Quran to fit their needs and pervert a peaceful religion to be viewed as hateful.

 

However, he may know that you could never marry her because she isn't Muslim. That you are forbidden to marry outside of your faith unless she converts. That means that she has to turn her back on the catholic church and that's a big no no to catholic families. I mean, would you be able to turn your back on the Muslim faith and embrace Christianity and Catholicism?

 

The other is that she's Italian. Italian families are EXTREMELY close knit. And she would have an extremely hard time going against the wishes of her family. You have the family working against you and that's not good.

 

So, not exactly what you wanted to hear. And the news isn't really good. But, the best thing you can probably do is leave her alone. Give her time to figure out what she wants for herself. Stop calling her and professing your love for her...blah...blah... the only thing you're doing is making her feel worse. Therefore, sooner or later, she'll not want to talk to you. Why would she if every time she talks to you, she ends up feeling horrible.

 

So! You need to not contact her. If she contacts you, keep the conversation light and do NOT talk about the relationship. Make the conversation comfortable and pleasurable. A conversation that she wouldn't mind having again. Keep everything upbeat and happy. Not dismal and hopeless. Romeo and Juliette did that and look how that sh*t turned out.

 

After time, she'll have to make a decision for herself. If she enjoys everything about you, then that only helps you in the long run.

[denis]

thank u so much for your reply...

 

it's exactly describing what i am doing right now...

 

 

pray for me!!

 

if anyone else's got any suggestions feel free...

 

 

thank you people..

[emi]

Well. Religion arent a right reason to break up

I saw your relationship with her was promising, but her father was a big hinder, and she seem to give up so fast, this lead to one question : Is she really love you?

 

If she does, she wont and CANT give up so fast for such a reason. Love is rare, and its not easy to have and its even harder to keep. If she think that she can find someone else, surround herself with options, i suggest its time u get your own options

 

Guys like you are rare to find, dont forget that, many ladies out there want their guys to be commited like you. I Know now u dont care and all u want is her. But hey, its take 2 to make it work, relationship cant just work on one side.

 

Just take a break, and tell her your last word that if she left you for that reason, will she in peace?

 

Then the rest time will tell

Be strong!

[denis]

Well. Religion arent a right reason to break up

I saw your relationship with her was promising, but her father was a big hinder, and she seem to give up so fast, this lead to one question : Is she really love you?

 

If she does, she wont and CANT give up so fast for such a reason. Love is rare, and its not easy to have and its even harder to keep. If she think that she can find someone else, surround herself with options, i suggest its time u get your own options

 

Guys like you are rare to find, dont forget that, many ladies out there want their guys to be commited like you. I Know now u dont care and all u want is her. But hey, its take 2 to make it work, relationship cant just work on one side.

 

Just take a break, and tell her your last word that if she left you for that reason, will she in peace?

 

Then the rest time will tell

Be strong!

 

 

 

thank u so much ...

[TaraMaiden]

Hello.

Italian woman here.

I used to be Catholic.

 

According to the Catholic Faith, I still am, but don't believe them.

I left the church 20 years ago, and never looked back.

 

A bolt of lightning has still not struck me down, so god must be okay with that.

My vast extensive and numerous Italian family don't seem to care too much either.

 

Anyway.

 

This relationship of yours?

 

Forget it.

 

You are both extremely young, and actually, her father has foreseen problems you are failing to appreciate, because your eyes are clouded by the longing of Love.

 

Emotions make you blind to logic.

He has his head screwed on, and is correct in many ways.

it may seem cruel, heartless and unjustified to you right now, but he makes many good points.

 

Primarily, that Islam and Catholicism do not mix well.

 

You will either both have to forego your religious commitments, or if you marry, she would have to convert - which would be impossible for her family to contemplate.

 

Also, what career are you aiming for?

Is there a guarantee of employment and expansion in your chosen career path?

Where are you thinking of working and establishing yourself?

How long will this take you?

 

What is she studying?

What is her career path?

Where would she envisage working and establishing herself?

 

The future is fraught with impractical obstacles, and Love is not enough.

 

Chi townD is right.

 

you need to go No Contact and distance yourself from her.

Sadly, this has more going agaisnt it than for it, and taking everything into account, it was foolish in the first palce to make so much of ut.

 

You WILL get over this, in time.

 

Your brain (and that of your ex-Girlfriend) have not finished forming yet, so your decisions are impulsive, and not well-thought-out.

 

You're acting on processes that cannot reach logical conclusions.

And that's ok, it's normal and you can't help it.

 

But listen to advice.

 

because sadly, right now, you need to.

[denis]

Hello.

Italian woman here.

I used to be Catholic.

 

According to the Catholic Faith, I still am, but don't believe them.

I left the church 20 years ago, and never looked back.

 

A bolt of lightning has still not struck me down, so god must be okay with that.

My vast extensive and numerous Italian family don't seem to care too much either.

 

Anyway.

 

This relationship of yours?

 

Forget it.

 

You are both extremely young, and actually, her father has foreseen problems you are failing to appreciate, because your eyes are clouded by the longing of Love.

 

Emotions make you blind to logic.

He has his head screwed on, and is correct in many ways.

it may seem cruel, heartless and unjustified to you right now, but he makes many good points.

 

Primarily, that Islam and Catholicism do not mix well.

 

You will either both have to forego your religious commitments, or if you marry, she would have to convert - which would be impossible for her family to contemplate.

 

Also, what career are you aiming for?

Is there a guarantee of employment and expansion in your chosen career path?

Where are you thinking of working and establishing yourself?

How long will this take you?

 

What is she studying?

What is her career path?

Where would she envisage working and establishing herself?

 

The future is fraught with impractical obstacles, and Love is not enough.

 

Chi townD is right.

 

you need to go No Contact and distance yourself from her.

Sadly, this has more going agaisnt it than for it, and taking everything into account, it was foolish in the first palce to make so much of ut.

 

You WILL get over this, in time.

 

Your brain (and that of your ex-Girlfriend) have not finished forming yet, so your decisions are impulsive, and not well-thought-out.

 

You're acting on processes that cannot reach logical conclusions.

And that's ok, it's normal and you can't help it.

 

But listen to advice.

 

because sadly, right now, you need to.

 

 

 

 

Her father is ignorant and racist. He might have seen problems that may occur in future. But there are problems in every relationship. What is important is that her and I never argued and had amazing relationship. We got along so well...

I never asked from her to convert, she can keep her faith.

I want to work for government, I have 2 years left of school although I will try and go to law school (definetely do my masters or pHD)

My ex works as an esthetician, thanks to me she went to college for it because she never intended to go to college...I made her do it ...Rigth now she's an esthetician and plans to open up her own place in the future...Many think that her father was more concerned with the fact that I am not a rich guy rather than the religion itself.

We might be blinded by love but our love was no joke. We were committed and happy.

Right now I havent msged her for a week and a half and am not intending to because it is the best. I have tried everything so there is no point of going back.

 

 

Thanks for help!