jenn78 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 I have avoided having to see my exboyfriend for over a month. Unfortunately last night we ran into each other a local bar (we live in a small-ish college town). He had his arm around a girl (who he later claimed was his friend).. we had a terrible little fight at the bar. He dumped me and i know he isn't completely over me. How do i deal with seeing him out at bars? I can handle a run in with just him but at a bar when he could be flirting with other girls... i don't know how to handle that. Its not fair that i have to leave with my friends but maybe i do need to cut my night short and leave... How have you guys handled these situations?
LostInTheWild Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Well, there are quite a few bars around here but only a few popular ones. I know where he likes to go so I avoid going to those places. If I pop into a place and he's there, I'll go to another place. But I wouldn't run away like a criminal or stay and flirt with other dudes...I'd just leave and show my indifference. I haven't had that happen yet because I just can't booze binge right now in public.
Author jenn78 Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 unfortunately we go to the same 3-4 bars so i just have to pray he isn't there. i agree that i can try to show that it doesn't phase me but him with another girl cuts very deep for me.
reddragon588 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 If it really bothers you, you should leave. You can also use this as an opportunity to try to discover some new watering holes. Otherwise you will just have to suck it up and ignore him.
thora-tiki Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 Hi, jenn78 I think you should let Pierre the Partier, aka your ex-hole, get those 3-4 bars. You go find yourself some new and exiting bars! You can always revisit them in a few months time, when the panic-gaah! phase is over. I am guessing you continue going to the same bars and places as he does to win him back? That he'd go: OMG, Jenn is so beautiful and lovely today - I think I am in love again! You can't make other people do anything (without drugs or some other black hat methods), and if you could make them come back - is that what you really want? If your ex dates, the other girl might have his body at the moment, but you have his heart. And as long as you have his heart you can get him back again - focus on that, and remember, he have to personally evolve himself - if he is dating, this will help him to evolve faster. Dating is NOT a bad thing - or the end of your chances to get your ex-hole back. But this no contact shouldn't be about getting ex-hole back, but getting YOU back. Also, get in the mindset that this is all part of no contact: not seeing him, avoiding places you know he'll be at, etc. Otherwise you are asking for trouble, since you are in no state to play the role as the girl that says: Oh, are you here too? That scenario just sounds like Drama 101. No contact seems to be hard because its counter-intuitive. We feel like we have to go fight and run and argue our way back into our loved ones heart, but quite the opposite is true. You're not doing nothing, you very much are doing something by utilizing no contact.
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