bentleychic Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 with a MM/MW? What made you decide who you could and couldn't tell? I have one current friend that knows, my exH and two friends that are no longer in my life. Who I decided I could and couldn't tell was based on how close we were as friends. I only told the people that I knew everything about and vice versa and wouldn't throw me under the bus or judge me horrifically. The two friends that are no longer in my life have nothing to do with my A and were my choice due to some illegal life choices that they were making that I didn't want around my kids (drugs).
Author bentleychic Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 Oh man. I cannot imagine not telling anyone. Sometimes, they are the only way that I get through with my sanity somewhat in tact. LOL
LilGirlandOW Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 For me, some of MM's family, a friend of MM's.. also I have a gay male friend who I also recently told via text as its a LD friendship.
LilGirlandOW Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 long distance, sorry was lazy, lol. We havnt seen eachother in 12 years
Lillyfree Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 no one knew during the A - afterwards i confided in my best friend.
tryingto Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 My two best girlfriends knew at the time. Several others knew I was seeing someone but because it was long distance I did not feel the need to disclose he was married. Two or three of exMM's siblings knew of me and our relationship but that's about it.
canuckprincess Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) I have nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed of who I love. I hide it from no one. Edited August 8, 2013 by canuckprincess
Clemenza Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Former OM here. During the affair, which lasted about 8 months, I told three people. My sister, who has been in an A herself, and my two best friends. After the affair, when I was in my darkest moments, I confided in other friends and family. I told my parents and my other sister, and they were all very supportive. xMW and I worked in the same office, and I think most of the people there suspected something while it was going on. On xMW's side, I know she told her best friend and her mom.
Speakingofwhich Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 No one knew. Family and one friend knew I was seeing him but didn't know he was married.
wanting more Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 My sister knew (she met xMM) my brother knew and a couple close friends
zevahc Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Not a single person knew about it until we decided it was time to part ways. I confided in a friend a few months ago...and since then one other friend. That...and my counselor...and the LS community! The past several months have been so brutal I had to confide in someone...anymore, I feel like an emotional wreck and needed someone to confide in...
Speakingofwhich Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Yes, like Zevahc, I realize the LS community knew/knows. What a relief to have a place to talk about it! Can hardly believe how much it has helped me!
Got it Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 with a MM/MW? What made you decide who you could and couldn't tell? I have one current friend that knows, my exH and two friends that are no longer in my life. Who I decided I could and couldn't tell was based on how close we were as friends. I only told the people that I knew everything about and vice versa and wouldn't throw me under the bus or judge me horrifically. The two friends that are no longer in my life have nothing to do with my A and were my choice due to some illegal life choices that they were making that I didn't want around my kids (drugs). There was a good number of people who knew. I was not good nor interested in keeping such a major relationship secret in my life so I had friends and family who knew about it and him and they did interact with him. Not everyone was interested in taking a banner out and holding a ticker tape parade but they were respectful and supportive. 2
Author bentleychic Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 I should say, a lot of people know that I have "a boyfriend", but only those 4 know that he's a MM. None of them have met him, though.
Speakingofwhich Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Forgot about this.......when he visited for the weekend we went out to dinner w/friends (as an aside the man in that couple has recently left his BS for OW)......has been a while ago. So, that's two more friends who knew and met him (but didn't know he was M). Also, another friend stopped by my house while he was there and met him but never knew he was M.
Rose Auxerrois Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 with a MM/MW? What made you decide who you could and couldn't tell? I have one current friend that knows, my exH and two friends that are no longer in my life. Who I decided I could and couldn't tell was based on how close we were as friends. I only told the people that I knew everything about and vice versa and wouldn't throw me under the bus or judge me horrifically. The two friends that are no longer in my life have nothing to do with my A and were my choice due to some illegal life choices that they were making that I didn't want around my kids (drugs). My private life is my private business.
C00kie Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 My mother knows, plus four friends. They are the only people I know understand me and won't judge me. At work, a few of my closest colleagues know I'm into someone, but have no idea who he is and certainly don't suspect he's married.
MissBee Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 For me, my closest friends knew the true scope of the situation, everyone else just knew I had a boyfriend.
123Sassygirl Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 As we are both married, I told no one of the affair for the first 6 mths. Then my best friend of 30 years confided in me that she kissed someone while on vacation with friend (she is married) and I then confessed my affair to her...I was so happy to finally have some one talk to about it. Recently (11 mths in) I have been working to end the affair and have told my sister and my other best friend.....mostly because I need people to talk to as I go through this agony and it helps to keep me accountable and less likely to contact him. I have also told my therapist. And apparently now the internet.
Phoenix32 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Nobody knows except me and my AP - that's the only way it's safe.
findingnemo Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 During the A itself, 2 of my girlfriends knew, his brothers knew, his friends knew. But all they knew was that we were together at the time they saw us together. They didn't know how long, how often or how much we saw each other. LS now knows everything...
road Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Nobody knows except me and my AP - that's the only way it's safe. It has been a line used in the movies. Two people can keep a secret when one of them is dead.
road Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 As we are both married, I told no one of the affair for the first 6 mths. Then my best friend of 30 years confided in me that she kissed someone while on vacation with friend (she is married) and I then confessed my affair to her...I was so happy to finally have some one talk to about it. Recently (11 mths in) I have been working to end the affair and have told my sister and my other best friend.....mostly because I need people to talk to as I go through this agony and it helps to keep me accountable and less likely to contact him. I have also told my therapist. And apparently now the internet. Now you need to tell your BH.
Recommended Posts