leafguy Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Pretty simple thread as I am looking for feedback. Been in a long term relationship, going on 5 years...my question is that I have realized over the last little while that I have become a little needy and also tend to respond as soon as I can to her texts, where as with her, it might be shortly after, a few hours or she may ignore them. Usually get a morning text or text back from her when we both wake up and when she gets home from work, but lately its been hit and miss...the morning texts are still there, but she seems less interested in responding of late. I'm not sure what else to say as maybe I am simply overthinking, but for others that are in LTR...how often do you text your significant other?
Brunettie Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 We call more than text. But some days we will text off and on all day long. Some days we will text all day long. Some days we don't text at all. It just depends really. There was a point where he'd ignore my texts regularly, even if they were a question. I talked to him about that and said I didn't like it. Hasn't happened since. Try talking to her about it; lightly bring it up. How often do you see each other? 1
It-is-what-it-is. Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 (edited) Didn't you guys break up recently? It could be your neediness but could also be unresolved stuff. Changing text behaviors could be something, or nothing. Edited August 8, 2013 by It-is-what-it-is.
New User Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 I'm not in an LTR right now, but I eventually had texting blocked on my phone when I was married. I generally don't like it. Now I have the notification for texts turned off on my phone and sometimes my friends get annoyed when I don't respond for several days or miss an "urgent" text (yes, I've told everyone that I have notifications turned off and I'll respond when I notice the indicator). I'd tend to think that there's no real indication that something is wrong simply because your partner isn't texting as often, but that's coming from someone that only grudgingly accepts this entire form of communication and wants to smash my phone when I receive a text that says something like "how R U." Texting- destroying our nation's literacy since 1999.
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 It hasn't been 5 years, but even with my ex we texted pretty frequently. With how long you guys have been together, I find it odd that you are worrying because she takes a few hours to text you back. On another note, 5 years together, you don't live together or anything? Not that it is a must... but that is a decent amount of time to be with someone. 2
SantistaUSA Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 It hasn't been 5 years, but even with my ex we texted pretty frequently. With how long you guys have been together, I find it odd that you are worrying because she takes a few hours to text you back. On another note, 5 years together, you don't live together or anything? Not that it is a must... but that is a decent amount of time to be with someone. Exactly! 5 years together and you are not even living together? I know some people just like to live alone but I've never met one. How old are you guys?
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 This is weird. In all my situations, we both respond as soon as we see the text, usually within 30mins. Some men had a pattern of turning off the phone while at work but I knew about it. Changing patterns usually spells trouble. 2
Author leafguy Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 We are 27 and 25. Both have heavy debt to pay off from school degrees, so it was why we haven't been living together. And it is, yes I ended it about a month ago due to her emotionally falling for another guy...she came full circle wanting me back, so I have given her a second chance two days after no contact with her breaking down, calling me and apologizing, freaking, etc. And the texting has only been sort of recent. It may just be the fact I'm overreacting and that things are still trying to be rebuilt. We had a very positive three weeks and the last week it just the pattern seems to have broken. One day is normal, next is very little, and its been like that for the last weekish. Just find it odd.
TB Rhine Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 Debt only makes it even more feasible to live together, re: the two-body problem. Weak excuse, that. Anyway, I'm a respond-right-away type myself, and I get annoyed when people don't do the same. And I can honestly tell you that it's never done a single solitary thing for me. It's a bad habit; break it with extreme prejudice. As for your lady friend - as a rule, in any relationship with a romantic partner, when the other person pulls away, you pull away a little further. If you come forward and try to make up the distance, you will only push them farther away. Maybe the texting thing means nothing; in which case, it won't matter if you back off a little bit, but it certainly can't hurt. If it DOES mean something though, backing off will encourage her to reach out for YOUR companionship, not the other way around. You know how they say, "Give her the gift of missing you?" Make her wait on YOUR response for a while; I've said it before, but people value things more when they feel they have to work for them.
will1988 Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 I text on average no more than 10 texts a day. Most of which (if not all) are to my fiance while we are apart throughout the day. I am not a huge texter, nor am I really a huge caller... I don't have to be in constant contact with my SO.
Guitarisgood Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 (edited) First up: don't immediately reply. If you wanted an immediate reply, you/ her would of called. Replies should be returned every once in a while almost as if sending a letter, waiting for someone to think about you before recieving that letter. Sometimes less is best, the less you communicate and the more you make when you guys spend time together makes things all the worth while and will make you two want eachother even more. Ever wonder why we always want something new when we have had enough of a house hold appliance, a phone, a car etc? oops forgot to add (haha): will depend, if i recieve a message that is important I will reply within the hour. if just casual, in a few hours. If something that I'm annoyed with/ at: maybe ignored til another day etc when I feel up for re initiating. Edited August 12, 2013 by Guitarisgood
CptSaveAho Posted August 12, 2013 Posted August 12, 2013 walk away from emotional affairs... first sign its over you should really start looking into other options, she is as for your question... text 2/3 as much as she does
Recommended Posts