vanessa88 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Hi all, I'm really not one for forums and chat sites etc, so please excuse me if my ettiqute isn't quite right... I don't have anyone else to talk to and I just feel like my entire world is crashing down around me and I hsvent got the first clue where to start. It's been about a month since my girlfriend of 3 years dropped a black bag of my stuff to my door step. A month previous to this we fought every day, we hadn't had sex in 5 weeks, we wernt seeing eye to eye about anything and it just really fizzled out and dragged. So painful. We were the best of friends and I literally love her more than life itself and spent so much time looking after her (she was depressed, lonely and had problems 6 days out of the week). I was there for her, every waking minute trying to get her to be that person I fell inlove with, and it didn't matter to me she was down, but I didn't realise how much it took it's toll on me. I called her in floods of tears the other night asking if she was still in love with me, and she said no. She said she loved me, but she wasn't in love with me. The words just replay over and over and over in my head. I hsve completely convinced myself she was the one, we laughed, joked, used to use the bathroom with the door open, sleep so comfortably in eachothers arms!... Despite al the fighting that used to leave me so drained, it seems none of that even matters anymore, and that she was the one for me and I've screwed it up by being selfish and not paying more attention to her needs. I really don't know how to cope. My mum is watching me mope around the house and if I even try to mention anything to her she gets so stressed out and she's not well herself. None of my pals really get it because they were never s fan of her anyway, and I cannot help but be so devastated by the fact that I've lost the only thing that I truely ever loved. She mentioned that she wished it was me for the rest of her life but I couldbt be that person because I just couldn't be, and she said she's free and happy now. How can she be so free and happy without me in her life when all I done was want her to be freeand happy? I felt bullied in the relationship for part of the time, but all that stuff just doesnt matter to me anymore. I feel so empty without her. Like, disgustingly empty to the point where I continuously have tears in my eyes.
supaflyz Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 You are so weak now because you lose someone whom you trusted, love, shared secrets, intimacy. The routine you and her use to do are no longer there. Perhaps you depended on her in the past for certain things, and now that she is gone you miss that. What I do in this situation is think back of all the hardships I went through without my ex. I went through a lot of stuff, and I was on my knees and wept the day we broke up. I feel so stupid and weak thinking back about it. You should do the same. You was fine before her, so you should be fine now without her.
Mrfr Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 You are weak because you've had a major, major loss. Don't beat yourself up. It will get better, I'm a different person to last week and as the weeks and months go by I'm sure I'll get there. You will too. 1
Author vanessa88 Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Thank you. Im struggling to find the peace within me to really recognise that we went though a lot of bad times, that probably outweighed the good , but fighting with the fact she may still be the one. How long has it been for you? Were you convinced this person was the love of your entire life and being?
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 It's a tautology, but the people that broke up with us aren't, can't be the love of our lives because they left. They chose not to be the love of our lives, because they no longer wanted to be in them. And they are not the love of our lives, because we wouldn't had let us choose them as such if we'd known or predicted they'd walk. It's difficult to reconcile that the person of the happy memories and the person of the breakup are the same person, but they are. Eventually it clicks into place (albeit it's too early for me to say whether that's permanent, according to my own experience). I'm not really sure how it does, but it will.
Mrfr Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 Thank you. Im struggling to find the peace within me to really recognise that we went though a lot of bad times, that probably outweighed the good , but fighting with the fact she may still be the one. How long has it been for you? Were you convinced this person was the love of your entire life and being? Yes. 100% totally convinced.
Renard99 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I was convinced my ex was the love of my life and the one I'd spend the rest of my life with......... ........... I'm now with someone who's more amazing than she was in almost every single way.
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