Nyclovin Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Hello. I’m not sure exactly what I want to say, or should be saying here. Or, if I should say anything at all. This is more difficult than I thought it would be, writing to you, like this. I’m not sure where we stand, or if your already gone. I’m not sure that it matters anymore. I’m not sure you care, or would even bother reading on. I think about us a lot. I think about you. I think about me, and my absurdities, the things that I say and the questions I ask. I think about all the things you must have wanted and never received from me. I think about all the ways I could have been better. I think about all the car rides back to your house. I think about all the phone calls. I think about your face. I think about your hands. I think about your laugh. I think and I think. And then I wonder why. I called you last night. I had nothing important to say. I dreamt about you last night, and then thought about you all day. I hope you are fine. I hope you are happy. I hope you find, whatever it is your searching for. You have not reached out. You have not bothered to try. Seems like you have given up. It seems like you wont budge. Like I am hopeless. Like I am lost. Like I was a lie. Am I nothing more than a memory fated to blur? Are we destined to fail? Are we doomed to separate lives? Are we saying, without actually saying, goodbye? Sometimes I stare at the phone and plead with it to ring with your name. I check my emails constantly in hopes of something, anything with your words on the page. I look for you while walking the streets. I sing your songs, no matter how dumb I look standing outside your house right now. I fight back the tears that I know do no good. I let them spill, in moments of weakness and regret. I write these words, knowing full well I should do no such thing. I write knowing I may never send this to you. Not knowing what sending it may bring. I feel shaken and alone. I feel saddened by this all. I feel it such a shame, such a waste, such as it is, nothing will ever replace. The two of us. Only one life. No guarantees. No certainty, of tomorrow, of happiness. We create our own pleasure. There is no one to ease this pain. To take away some of this grief. To reconnect what has been severed. To rekindle a flame. Reach out and entwine my fingers in yours. Let me kiss your lips, softly, firmly, gently, like heaven. I am to blame. I miss you. I want to hold you. I want to be held by you. I want to stare into your eyes. I want you back. 12
supaflyz Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 From reading through all of these strong emotions from you, I assume that you just got of a relationship fairly new? Everybody feels that way just coming out of a relationship. It's completely normal. What exactly happen? 2
LostInTheWild Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 That was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. Thank you. 1
youngnlove89 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Took those beautiful words right from my mouth.
Scale Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 I feel the same way, I'm in the same shoes as yours. I just wish one thing that I can share my dreams and goals with her again and my life. My dreams are empty and incomplete without her in them. I don't want anything, no success, no power but only her love and I want to see her every morning when I open my eyes and watch her sleep at night and then shut my eyes. I want to die only in her arms and nobody else's and when I my eyes shut once and for all on my death bed and I want to see my life flash by eyes with her in it. I respect her most after my mom and can do anything to attain her love.
jesse93 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 wow, this is amazing. Almost makes me want to send it to my ex its just so perfect explains all the emotions and heart ache. very impressive.
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