She left me for a younger guy cause I did not care, now I love her, any input thanks.

[Yeto]

I will try to condensate it.

 

I started dating this woman 1 year ago, she is 32 she is got two kids she's married but the husband lives two houses away in the same block, he lives with his parents and with his sister, his sister used to be my girlfriend.

I am 35 never married, no kids, successful engineer (spanish) 6 figures.

 

So, somehow, I never took the relationship seriously and I did not go to her house because two houses away the husband (separated) or my ex could see us, months ago I told her I did not want commintment, basically for me it was just sex, but I never wanted anything more.

 

I travel 90 % of the time out of my city, I work on plants all over the u.s.

 

3 months ago I found out that she was dating another guy (a 22 year old guy for a 32 year old woman), and suddenly I felt I was dying, I called her, try to see her when I went to my city, even cry and she did not want to see me, she dumped me, and every time I called they were together at the movies, eating out, etc, etc, so, suddenly I am dying of love for her...

 

After 2 trips to my city she called me that she wanted us to be friends, I told her drinking a coffee that I loved her (for the first time) she told me this guy does it every day several times, flowers, goes to her house without being afraid of anything, etc, and she said that she would love to hear this from me before, not now, that he has done nothing wrong and she cant break that relationship to go back with me, I asked if she wanted to, and she said that she is confused, but she feels ok with him, the only thing with him is that he is extremally jealous and controlling when she is not with him, but when they are together they are ok.

 

So, I am not calling her or emailing or chatting with her anymore, my friends tell me that I am guilty and she is gone, I just don't know...

 

She has not called me or e-mailed me after I sent her an email saying that I was gonna get me a girl to love and to be loved and not to be betrayed...

 

 

I need advice please.

[Jilly10340]

Okay, you say that all you wanted from her was sex and you blame her for leaving you? SHE'S the one who betrayed YOU.

 

If you loved her, you would be happy that she actually found someone who will love her the way she wants to be loved. Good for her to have someone that sends her flowers and confesses his love for her and treats her how she wants to be treated.

[Scott S]

Originally posted by Yeto

So, somehow, I never took the relationship seriously and I did not go to her house because two houses away the husband (separated) or my ex could see us, months ago I told her I did not want commintment, basically for me it was just sex, but I never wanted anything more.

 

Going into the relationship in this way laid the groundwork, I'm afraid.

 

It appears there are commitment issues on both sides. You expressly state that you will avoid commitment, & your actions bear that out. She is still married, & living in close proximity to her husband. At best, this makes for a superficial affair, not a love relationship.

 

A lot more information would be useful. You haven't indicated whether she was originally OK with this arrangement, or why she remains married. At first glance, I might theorize that she wants a committed love relationship, & does not foresee that occuring with you. But the circumstances cast a lot of doubt & confusion on that.

 

I would say that each of you need to make up your minds as to what kind of a relationship you desire. A love relationship requires a lot more work than a casual affair, & it appears neither of you are ready to put in that effort right now.

 

________________________________________________

Eagles may soar, but weasels are never sucked into aircraft engines!

[Yeto]

I know its weird, at the beginning I did not love her and I did not want any commitment because it was just sex for me, but after I knew she started dating a younger guy I JUST FELT IN LOVE, and I love her, and it hard for me to breath, I don´t care if she has 2 kids, I don´t care if she is married and lives 2 houses away from the ex (right, I know this is a potential affair, specially if I trave 90% of the time)...

 

Anyways, somebody told me that if I did not love her before, why now? that somebody told me that I just want her NOW because I can´t have her NOW.

 

She hasn´t made any contact yet, neither me.

 

When you are in a situation like this, you don´t care if the sea is full of fish, I want her, but she is , probably at the very moment in the arms of the other guy...

 

So, I want commitment NOW, she never said she wanted commitment or not, what she said was that she wanted a steady relationship (her ex husband has a different girlfriend every month almost.

 

She even told me that she is going to keep dating this younger guy, but she knows its going to end (she´s 32 he´s 22) and she said that she hopes I am still out there when it finishes... yeah right, I´ll eat the left overs... I wish I will not be that stupid, I want her NOW.

 

Ok, thanks for reading this crazy stuff, any input will be appreciated...

[Scott S]

Originally posted by Yeto

I don´t care if she is married and lives 2 houses away from the ex (right, I know this is a potential affair, specially if I trave 90% of the time)...

 

Now, I'm confused. Is this man her husband, or her EX-husband?

 

 

Anyways, somebody told me that if I did not love her before, why now? that somebody told me that I just want her NOW because I can´t have her NOW.

When you are in a situation like this, you don´t care if the sea is full of fish, I want her, but she is , probably at the very moment in the arms of the other guy...

 

That is likely the reason. It is also a very shaky foundation for a relationship. You want her because you cannot have her. So what will happen if & when you can have her?

 

 

She even told me that she is going to keep dating this younger guy, but she knows its going to end (she´s 32 he´s 22) and she said that she hopes I am still out there when it finishes.

 

It appears to me that you each have issues that would preclude anything resembling a love relationship. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I believe you both have some maturing to do before you will be successful in a love relationship.

[Yeto]

Thanks for answering Scott, to make it clear, she is dating this guy (she's 32 he's 22) he goes to her house, two houses away lives this guy who is her husband because they never got a divorce, but they don't live together since 5 years ago, but they are friends, he goes to her house to see the two kids, and checks email in her computer.

 

Its bizarre the way I changed, I never loved her (never could tell her I love you), until the very moment I called her and they were going to the beach, at that moment I felt I was dying and it was just too late.

 

I am getting over it slowly, specially when I dont contact her, last time it was like this, but she called me twice and I was being polite at the beginning, answering bla bla bla, but then I started calling her back and we went to eat but she said that she could not break up with this guy because he has been so kind...

 

Anyways, I will let time go by and see what happens.

 

Thanks again Scott, say hello to Picard.

[theone44]

Originally posted by Yeto

I will try to condensate it.

 

I started dating this woman 1 year ago, she is 32 she is got two kids she's married but the husband lives two houses away in the same block, he lives with his parents and with his sister, his sister used to be my girlfriend.

I am 35 never married, no kids, successful engineer (spanish) 6 figures.

 

So, somehow, I never took the relationship seriously and I did not go to her house because two houses away the husband (separated) or my ex could see us, months ago I told her I did not want commintment, basically for me it was just sex, but I never wanted anything more.

 

I travel 90 % of the time out of my city, I work on plants all over the u.s.

 

3 months ago I found out that she was dating another guy (a 22 year old guy for a 32 year old woman), and suddenly I felt I was dying, I called her, try to see her when I went to my city, even cry and she did not want to see me, she dumped me, and every time I called they were together at the movies, eating out, etc, etc, so, suddenly I am dying of love for her...

 

After 2 trips to my city she called me that she wanted us to be friends, I told her drinking a coffee that I loved her (for the first time) she told me this guy does it every day several times, flowers, goes to her house without being afraid of anything, etc, and she said that she would love to hear this from me before, not now, that he has done nothing wrong and she cant break that relationship to go back with me, I asked if she wanted to, and she said that she is confused, but she feels ok with him, the only thing with him is that he is extremally jealous and controlling when she is not with him, but when they are together they are ok.

 

So, I am not calling her or emailing or chatting with her anymore, my friends tell me that I am guilty and she is gone, I just don't know...

 

She has not called me or e-mailed me after I sent her an email saying that I was gonna get me a girl to love and to be loved and not to be betrayed...

 

 

I need advice please.

 

 

Yeto........i will let this one go........she still marry to. Man u didn't do anything wrong ex-least u told her the truth from the beginning. I wouldn't go over to her house either,if her enstange husband is living on the same block to. This one is alway's looking for attention. Don't worry.........this relationship with this 22 year is not going to last to long. Aytime a woman need someone to tell her u love me all the time have low self-esteem....about herself. If the 22 year want to take on all that drama let it be. You want her now Yeto,cause someone else want her now. Remember this also Success and a six figure income or being very rich doesn't keep women,but loving a woman and respecting her does. That why so many men fail with women,trying to buy women love with success and money. A woman will stay with a man,no matter what type of income u make....as love as u love her,be her best friend,be romantic and respecting her. Ok i hope this help........Be Bless!!!1

[Yeto]

Thank you my friend for your words of wisdom...