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Posted

It's been a year and a half of seeing each other, but there was no stated commitment. We didn't have an argument but he went 17 days without contacting me, then he texted and we talked. I didn't want to seem nagging, so I didn't say anything about it. He has now gone 10 days without contact again. His words say he is into me but his actions don't. Why do guys just disappear? What would he think if I just sent him a goodbye email? Thank you for your insights.

Posted

Well if there is no commitment then he has no real obligation to let you know his whereabouts. That's the reason he disappears.

 

That leads to the question: do you wan't a commitment with this man?

Posted
It's been a year and a half of seeing each other, but there was no stated commitment. We didn't have an argument but he went 17 days without contacting me, then he texted and we talked. I didn't want to seem nagging, so I didn't say anything about it. He has now gone 10 days without contact again. His words say he is into me but his actions don't. Why do guys just disappear? What would he think if I just sent him a goodbye email? Thank you for your insights.

 

If there was no commitment, then there is no justification to send a goodbye email, but maybe an email stating what you want and need from this and if he cannot give you what you want, then a goodbye email. He doesn't owe you anything except to come and go as he pleases because those are the terms of a non-committed "relationship". The bad part is that you have allowed the pattern so he sees no wrong in it nor does he know that it isn't making you happy.

 

The thing is, words mean nothing. People can say all sorts of anything without ever meaning what they say. ACTION. Action shows you that he isn't into you because when someone is into you, they don't disappear for 17 days. Look at his actions. Words are cheap, worst of all, free.

Posted

Words don't mean anything. People actions and behaviors do. 17 days off no contact? Would you accept this from good friend? I don't think so.

 

Clearly he's not into you and you need to move on.

Posted
Words don't mean anything. People actions and behaviors do. 17 days off no contact? Would you accept this from good friend? I don't think so.

 

Clearly he's not into you and you need to move on.

 

Harsh but probably true. I had a similar experience and I finally had to admit that my GF was 'probably not into me' as much as I was into her. Tough and sad! Good luck to you.

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