How Long For Nc Until The Ex Knows They Have Messed Up!

[bigacesteve]

My ex is 23, WantanS4 is 23 and Weirds is 24; There must be a pattern somewhere... I just can't put my finger on it...

[WantanS4]

Hahaha... one of her reasonings behind it all was "I'm getting old Wantans4"....... and then there's...... "How do you think ti would work if we're always fighting"........ and then there was "Don't you htink that maybe we were suppose to be really good friends?"...... to whcih i replied "No...... because if we were...... then there wouldn't have been the sensuality a relationship requires to start..."

 

She's 24...... and lost..........

[Urban Rubble01]

My ex is 23, WantanS4 is 23 and Weirds is 24; There must be a pattern somewhere... I just can't put my finger on it...

 

Well, my ex and I are both 22, though she's not an only child. But she has had an odd childhood. Her parents were Cambodian refugees from the Pol Pot era. They had her in Cambodia and brought her to the states where they put her up for adoption.

 

But to tell the truth, after reading your stories I think that she's being much more honest with me than most girls would. I don't have anything to hold against her, she's been perfect ! Damn it !

 

bigacesteve

 

You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned how alcohol makes you depressed the next day, I'm noticing that too. It's weird, I go out and have a great time, I drink, dance, and everytime I go out I meet alot of girls. But the next day, whether I have a hangover or not, the natural depressants in the booze that are left over get to me. Saturday or Sunday mornings have been the only times where I've sent the ex "serious" type E-mails.

 

I think a big part of it is just seeing what life is like without the ex. I like to party occasionally, but I would MUCH rather be having a quiet evening alone with her smoking joints and watching movies. So I go out, get drunk and all that stuff, but it just reminds me of the dumb KID that I was before I was with her. All I can think about is how much more I'd have enjoyed myself if I was with her.

 

 

I think I might take her out for dinner tomorrow, I'm not sure. I may just wait until Thanksgiving, but that'll be really hard. I just need to give her a hug, as cheesy as that sounds.

[Weird]

wantan,

 

I have heard similar crap spewing from my ex's mouth. I wanted to get a popper scooper and baggy to clean it up.

 

My ex tries to act like I am a moron or am clueless. It is funny because she knows I am super intelligent and can read through peoples' crap.

[WantanS4]

Bottomline...

 

They've gotten greedy... and find us to be 'unfulfilling'... hopefully....... they don't lose this bet, because it will be extremely painful either way for them.

[krazeeyk]

My ex is going to be 27 in January, and after being with her for 7 years, she just as lost as the rest of them. At least I like to think that.

[WantanS4]

This day in age... sex sells..... and guess what...... the entire female population is stuck in the 'I want to feel sexual... I need some self esteem, so I need to look like the woman in 'sex in the city'.... and last but not least.... it's my body and my spirit so I can do what I want when I want with whoever I want'............. huh!....... Good luck... and good riddance...... I hope you don't get played 9023874923874 times befoer you get marrried...... IF you get married.

[Weird]

I think my ex idolizes the chicks in Sex & The City. She isnt a slut or anything but I just think she sees them being all independant and feels that is how she should be. I think she sees samantha as the one to be like except for the whole being a slut thing.

[WantanS4]

Uhh.... how do you know she's not a slut? I mean... do you really know?

[Weird]

haha yeah I am pretty sure of it:)

[bigacesteve]

Bloody hell my ex has finally answered a call from me. I shouldn't have bothered.

 

All I wanted to do was clear the air between us; last time we spoke was a heated exchange and I felt bad about it afterwards. Amazingly we've not bumped into each other yet and I have no idea how she'll react when she sees me. We hang out in the same areas and I know it's coming soon.

 

As soon as she answered the phone I could sense the aggression. I tried to talk to her and immediately she was being confrontational. She said she'd been out the other Monday and her drink had been spiked in a place called Liquid. I said "Where? In Liquid?" And she shouts "why there's nothing wrong with me going out with my friends is there?" WTF! I just told her that a female friend I knew had the same thing happen to her. I told her that I just wanted to clear the air between us because of our last phone conversation, next thing she starts ranting about the last phone conversation saying how angry she was. I asked her if I too had a right to be angry that night on the phone and there was a big pause. She said yes I did have a right. Then she just wanted to get off the phone and hung up in the end. So I got nowhere, probably made it worse.

 

I just sent this text to her.

 

I don't understand why you get so angry with me. You turn it into an argument everytime we talk. We used to talk about everything and now after all this time you won't speak to me in a pleasant manner. Do you understand my concern? We hang out in the same areas and we're going to bump into one another. I don't want your anger I just want peace between us. I just want to talk, nothing else. Just before, you thought I was telling you off for going out the other Monday, what was that about? I don't want to argue, why can't you understand this? You make it so hard for me cause you're so confrontational. Is it that difficult to be nice towards me?

 

I think I've done all I can, I'm tired of trying to make peace with her. I'll tell her to go away if she comes over to me when I'm out. Immature.

[WantanS4]

bigacesteve,

 

Maybe she likes to adhere to the notion, "When in doubt....... SHOUT IT OUT!!".........

 

No no... on a serious level, i know you love her and care for her... but she obviously has no *****ing clue how she's acting. So, my advice, as it has always been is to LET IT GO........ if your worried she's going to go find someone else and she'll be happy....... don't worry.. it won't happen..... there's hardly any guys/men left that will put up with s*** like that...... and you put up with it only because you care...... what are the chances she'll find someone like that....... not many....... especially this day in age.

 

You did good.... sorta... i would have maintained NC.... but I guess you had to scratch that itch.... unforutnately you scratched too soon and a little too much........ what can you do..........

[Weird]

wow, sounds just like my ex. I have tried to clear the air and she just puts on her boxing gloves looking for a fight. She takes ANYTHING I say that has any substance to it (so like on Sunday when I was telling her why convos between us lately have been hardly anything) and tries to spin it into an argument.

 

These chicks have these images of us in their heads of us being bastards looking to fight with them, doing everything wrong, and all that jazz when in reality we are the total opposite. Don't even try getting them to see reality because when it comes to reality vs a woman's imagination the imagination wins out EVERY TIME.

 

You know I have never done anything really wrong/bad to my ex but she acts like I have. She even has admitted I never did anything bad yet that doesn't stop her from holding a grudge against me or something. hahaha

 

I am with Wantan....let these crazy women go and if they think tons of guys are going to put up with that crap they are dreaming.

[bigacesteve]

Cheers WantanS4, I did have to scratch the itch. To be honest I do feel much better for it, finally I feel as though I'm getting stronger within. I didn't get upset and I didn't feel anger towards her even though she was trying to get me to argue with her.

 

She was p155ed off about when I called her immature a few weeks ago. She said "I am not immature and my dad never said that I was immature!" I'm sorry ex but your dad did say it and so did your mother; I didn't even bother arguing. I felt bad about telling her what her dad said but she was screaming at me at the time to tell her so I did.

She sounded even more immature than ever on the phone today, what has she become?

 

She told me that she didn't hate me and that I never did anything wrong. In the next breath she was snapping and snarling at me. Freaky...

 

I had a good think about things last night and I couldn't see a future for her and me, she has just treated me too badly and I really don't deserve it. All I wanted was to make peace between us, I don't want anything else. I would just like to be able to bump into her, have a laugh and a chat and then go our separate ways. She wants this too but she's so aggressive towards me how is it going to work? It's not is it. Makes me wonder what will happen when we bump into each other after a few drinks, or out on a Xmas do? Oh my god! She gets quite drunk and has been nasty before towards me, she has also been totally the opposite, can't keep her hands off me. Anyway nothing I can do anymore I tried to sort things and it went tits up.

 

I'm going to start dating again, I can do better than this b0ll0cks.

[Weird]

She told me that she didn't hate me and that I never did anything wrong. In the next breath she was snapping and snarling at me. Freaky...

 

haha yep. I get that. It is just totally freaky and mind boggling.

 

My ex goes on about how she wants to be friends yet since she first made the step towars having it happen she has been all closed and aggressive to me as well. I just shake my head at how a human being who isn't 12 can act like that.

 

Maybe your ex, wantans ex and my ex are all cousins.

[WantanS4]

Or maybe... all of our exs just watch TOO MUCH TV!!!! Seriously.........

 

The last conversation I had with my ex, she was SCREAMING and BLURTING out left and right.... and she says.... "You haven't CHANGED...." to which i replied "Yes... I have... I'm speaking to you calmly despite you raising your voice....." and she says..... "YOU HAVNE'T GONE THROUGH ENOUGH.. YOU NEED MORE TIME TO HEAL......" WTF DOES THAT MEAN!?!!? THOSE ARE POLAR OPPOSITES RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

 

hahaha... i blame the MEDIA...........

[Weird]

hahahaha

 

I do not doubt my ex prolly thinks I have not changed when in reality I have changed for the better (I feel she refuses to see this because she likes staying with the theory I still have my flaws from before) and she still has the same serious flaws (read- immaturity and selfishness) on dealing with stuff she had before. It is funny how some people can't ever see reality and live in thier little dream world where they are right and everyone else is wrong.

[WantanS4]

In the end.. she goes... "I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW!!!!" and all I say is "huh... I guess not... okay well.... later"

[bigacesteve]

Totally agree with you WantanS4,

 

I'm a different person already. She can shout and scream all she wants but I remain perfectly calm and coherent. When we talked today she seemed no different whatsoever from how she was when we first split.

 

Oh yes, Sex in the City has a lot to answer for. My ex used to watch it and so did my ex ex ex years ago when it first came out; they flippin worshipped it. It's feckin telly ladies! Wake up to the real world, real life takes a little effort, it's not laid out for you like a script. s*** happens, you deal with it.

I don't think womens magazines help either. Blokes magazines have pictures of gorgeous women, cool I hear you cry. You look at a womans magazine and they're pages and pages of beautiful woman, just like mens mags. But no interesting things like cars and man-eating animals, etc. My ex would come around with loads of them. She was amazed that I would sit and happily read them; oh I've got no problem 'reading' them.

Then it started; my ex used to tell me that she felt a mess, she wasn't attractive anymore, not good enough for me; it didn't matter how many times I told her she was beautiful, how many times I looked at her and had to catch my breath because she was so stunning, her self confidence just kept reducing. I couldn't understand why.

Todays media is pushing this perfect image and it's all airbrushed models and surgical implants. Then the media try to push the idea of 'you could do better, why settle for sex 3 times a night when you could be getting it 5 times a night?'

 

We're fighting a losing battle here people, they see the bright lights and off they go, just like moths to a flame. I'm tired of trying to help, I'm just going to help myself now.

[Weird]

yeah LOVE when they do the "I don't want ot talk about this" or "I can't deal with this" dealio. I just shake my head and say whatever. Guess it is easier to run away and not clear the air than it is to get things straightened out and go about communicating in a civil way.

 

The funny thing with Sex and the City is that it basically (well at least the earlier seasons did) takes shots at women. I remember when my ex got me to start watching it I would smile because here are all these ladies who love the shwo but can't see it is making fun of women. I do like the show...it is funny.

 

Agreed about society's view of women and all that you mentioned. I find it funny they can be such blind lemmings and believe in that crap.

[WantanS4]

I think we're taking ownership of this thread

[WantanS4]

Just got back from lunch.. was standing in line and read the latest "cosmopolitan" high light : "5 ways to make better decisions in life"........ ENOUGH SAID!

[Nick14]

Nah, its not just sex and the city, its more like women worshipping Paris Hilton!

[WantanS4]

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!T!!!! Nick14.... your problem is bigger than all of ours......

[Weird]

if i met a woman who looked up to paris hilton i'd slap the stupid out of her.

 

 

i think we should all start a new women's mag

 

 

speaking fo women, wonder if we scared off the fine ladies of this thread.