Knoxpwns Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I am slowly beginning to realize that I don't really miss my ex-girlfriend that much. My breakup was bad and heart wrenching for me. She strung me along and lied to me, cheated on me with one of my old friends, and left me for him. My first true love, 6 years and that's how it ended. I have many great qualities, I supported her, loved her, encouraged her to do anything... I was a damn good boyfriend. I never did anything to hurt her and would have done anything to make her happy. but she spit in my face. I realize I don't really miss her, because I think of her with him. I think of myself having hurt, and her happy with someone I once called my friend, and really... I feel nothing. it doesn't really upset me for some reason. It bothers me in the sense that it was wrong for her to do, but thinking of them together emotionally with the role I played in the grim situation, I don't really feel much emotion. I realize what I truly miss is not the girl that hurt me, but the role she played in my life, the one that family and friends can't really fill. Someone I could share my life experience with. Someone who was always there for me and I for them. Someone who I was completely happy spending every single day with. Someone who made my life brighter and someone I felt the same for from day one. She changed, but I never did. It makes me nervous that I am introverted and am super shy. Once I break out of my shell and am comfortable you can't stop me, I will be animated and engaging, but I just can't bring myself to talk to people. I know I will make someone happy, but I never can take the first step to meet new people. 2
newmoon Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I hear ya' and it's ok ... you will meet someone new and be able to do things with them as you did with her. I'm similar - it takes me FOREVER to open up to someone, so I know it'll be a long time before I have that companionship again. Relationships form slowly for me, so I know I have months/years of singledom ahead. But - stay strong!! - like you said, you're not missing the person as much as the hand holding, hugs, kisses, intimacy, etc. and those are replaceable with your next partner. I also miss that more than him, and I look forward to knowing (hoping) that my next partner will reciprocate my feelings. Imagine how great hand-holding and intimacy will be with someone who really loves you back...
JDPT Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I view it as a sign of making progress. I think you are really coming to terms with what occures in your relationship and realized that you deserve better. It will only get better from this point forward. It has been a few days since I have not woken up and immediately after felt this agonizing pain on my chest. I can honestly say that the pain has deminished substantially and that's only after three short months. I can't imagine how I would feel in another three more months. I'm starting to feel somewhat happy again and very little bothers me when I imadvertanly think about my ex. Hang in there, I wish you the best.
Author Knoxpwns Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Thanks Its a good feeling to really be excited about other girls again. Instead of sadness I feel giddy. I miss thay feeling when you love someone unconditionally and they actually love you back
theonlyjuan Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I know how you feel, I don't miss my ex. I miss what we had, or what I thought we had. I am getting used to being single again and it's not so bad. I went out last night and spoke to a few girls, felt absolutely nothing. Couldn't be bothered with all that yet. I will know when the time is right. I always felt the best part of the relationship was the beginning. First few months are exciting when you get to know someone. So, we all have that to look forward to.
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Make your own life bright and you will attract a companion even better than your ex. It's not an easy thing to live by. But you'll be better off in the long run. I'm trying it myself, and I don't always manage, but on days when I do, I love me. And it's such a liberating feeling. 1
Author Knoxpwns Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 Make your own life bright and you will attract a companion even better than your ex. It's not an easy thing to live by. But you'll be better off in the long run. I'm trying it myself, and I don't always manage, but on days when I do, I love me. And it's such a liberating feeling. Things are getting a lot better for me since we split too. when I was with her I was stagnant in a minimum wage job, but being forced to move back to my hometown I met up with an old friend and through contacts have lined up a six figure job later this year. For generally having bad luck it's really nice to see how the stars aligned and my life is getting better tenfold. I felt like I was going nowhere but now I am building a career. life is crazy sometimes.
LME Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 I hear ya. that lonely feeling sucks. I ultimately was the dumpee but my and my ex both strung each other along for a few months in fear of being alone. I knew that romance passion etc was gone but i had a really hard time letting go. Its a big change having someone there all the time and then they aren't. Just try and keep busy. Another thing thats hard for me is that the end of our relationship was pretty much a friendship... and i really miss him as a friend, not a boyfriend. I know its too early to be friends though. i just sucks sometimes. However, do things for you like said above. I used to wait around for my ex to get off work so i could go spend time with him. Now i do what i want to do. I go to the library to read books, i shop, i go to fitness classes at my gym, etc. It really helps me and makes me happier than i was waiting around for my ex.
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