Schoe Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Ok, to begin.... I was the dumper, but I had to, our relationship had become unbearable, frequent arguments and fading respect for each other...but please don't judge me yet. If anything, the only thing I should be judged on was the fact that I dated a girl that I initially didn't fancy but that I had growing emotional chemistry with. I've never had experience with this type of relationship, as a much younger man i really only went out with the pretty girl to find out that we had nothing in common!)... Now as a 45yr old, the mind is much more attractive. The thing is, the first year or so i struggled with it, telling myself, be fair to her, you don't fancy her, move on.... But the EC kept me there and I fell for her I was very happy for another 3yrs..... and then the arguing started!.... What I found then was, the arguing destroyed the EC that we had...but it left me with nothing because there was little PC. Now, 7 months after the end of the relationship, I don't remember the fights, and I bump into her occasionally, and whilst I don't have the PC, I can still feel the EC, because she's smiling sweetly at me and saying hello.... Arrrrrgh!.. It drives me nuts!.... I constantly ask myself...did I leave too soon...should I reconcile... I know deep down the right answer but my self confidence is pretty low at the moment and adjusting back to singledom is a crock at 45
Philosoraptor Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 There was a reason it ended before, and unless those reasons are gone, the result will be the same. Don't let your current feelings of lonliness cause you to make a mistake that will hurt both you and this girl.
Author Schoe Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 yeah... I know, thanks P'raptor, i've yo-yo'd in previous relationships and it's obviously always ended up at the same conclusion, unless the reason for leaving is fixed, you'll have a short honeymoon period and then remember why you left in the first place. I think I lack self esteem, im always looking outwards for reassurance from others when I know deep down ive done the right thing. a lot of it has to do with my age now, im 45, ill save you the life story, but in a nutshell, I havent met the one yet, and it bothers me, and that is why I think I question myself so much when a relationship ends.
Author Schoe Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 I'd like to hear other plus 40's stories and how they feel about being single, what they do about it etc...
Philosoraptor Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 yeah... I know, thanks P'raptor, i've yo-yo'd in previous relationships and it's obviously always ended up at the same conclusion, unless the reason for leaving is fixed, you'll have a short honeymoon period and then remember why you left in the first place. I think I lack self esteem, im always looking outwards for reassurance from others when I know deep down ive done the right thing. a lot of it has to do with my age now, im 45, ill save you the life story, but in a nutshell, I havent met the one yet, and it bothers me, and that is why I think I question myself so much when a relationship ends. Sounds like you need to learn to trust yourself and your decisions. Just trust that at the moment, you made the best decision for your future.
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