Meyon.J Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 is my first post on this site and I am pretty excited to get some honest feedback. I just got out of a relationship a few days ago. heres the situation to it: i was very cool friends with this girl for about 7 months because we started going out with each other. during out friendship she was dating someone for nine months and now that person is leaving to join the navy for 4 years. during our relationship it started out rough because there was in and out with her ex popping up out of no where. so i did question her and it got me highly upset because I felt like she was doing some things that I wasnt aware of and I was also afraid of losing her. she was my diary i spoke to her about anything because we had a great friendship with each other. when she broke up with me she tried to throw me in the friend zone. we would go back and forth about being together and her ex became more present in the picture. with me sending her messages letting her know how i felt because i still treated her like a diary, she betrayed me and screenshoot the messages i sent to her and showed them to her ex. i felt hurt becuase i really cared about her as a person and for her to do that to me makes me feel like she wasnt real from the start. she was trying to have her cake and eat it too. she basically was telling me that she wanted us to be friends so we can start back from scratch and work on us as friends and then escalate to being together again but, at the same time she was telling her ex that she wanted to be with her as well. so after i found the truth to it all, i cried for two days straight. i stayed in bed all day after the break up. i isolated myself from the world the first day. i didnt know how to handle the situation at first because it was so fast and it happened too quick for me to even ask her all the details. once i got to the bottom of everything i was able to cope with my feelings and realize that i can finally move on. the same night she texted me and told me this " yes i do want to be with B but i know and feel it in my heart that it is going to go back to the way it was before. B changed and i came back to B for all the wrong reasons becuase you and i were fighting and i dont want to be with someone who wants to fight. i do not want for you to be hurt and i dont know what to do to fix it. is there anything i can do to make it better or easier for you. if you dont want to text me back then i can understand." i replied with a last message. " you want to be with B then by all means go around and be with B because I will not compete with another human just to make you stay with me. it sucks you dont believe in me but by all means go back to B, thats what you truly want and now you have the ultimate package. i do not want to be thrown in the friend zone while you are giggling and laughing like life is perfect. i rather you be with B and dont worry about my suffering." she replied the next day asking, "feeling any better" and i never spoke to her since. i am currently applying the NC rule and i can be honest that it did help me alot. i have gotten a job promotion and a raise since this incident. i have been blogging a little more. making plans with friends. keeping myself up and just doing the best that i can. everyone keeps telling me that she will be back and that she wont wait 4 years for B to finish the Navy or vice versa. i am not going to say i dont want her to come back, however if she does come back i will seriously let her know about herself and i will continue my day. i will not do anything in a form of a text or email i will be strictly mature about it and meet up in public. but i want to know why do people keep telling me that she will be back? i just want to know some of you guys and ladies feedback on this.
Philosoraptor Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Your relationship likely ended as the ex came back into the picture, and she wanted to try with him rather than be with you. She wanted to keep you as friends just in case her first choice (the ex) didn't work out. She obviously has no boundaries as she breached your trust by showing her ex the conversations you had been sending her. If she does come back it likely wont be for long as she has already seemed to have labeled you as the safe backup option.
Author Meyon.J Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 I don't want the thought of her coming back. Sometimes I do want to reply to the message she sent me but I know the relationship with her ex and the military thing may or may not work. I do want to let her know that it was crucial what she did. However I rather deal with it from a far.
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