reddragon588 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I started this thread because I'm specifically struggling with this today, but I think this is a topic lots of other people can relate to here. One of the hardest parts for me following my breakup has been social media. I finally admitted defeat and deactivated my Facebook account because I couldn't muster the courage to delete my ex as a friend and seeing her page was causing me too much stress. I wish I could just delete her but I can't find the courage to do that yet. I also haven't found the courage to delete her on Instagram. I did for a day but I found myself constantly going to her page anyway and re-added her (something she contacted me about, which caused me more angst). I'd really like some tips on how to handle social media and breakups. And I'd really like some advice about how to resist the temptation of visiting the ex's profiles even after deleting them. And the hardest part for me has been that even if I do delete her, I see her all of the place because we have so many mutual friends (both on social media and real life) that I seemingly can't avoid her- how do you deal with this?
Misfortune Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I started this thread because I'm specifically struggling with this today, but I think this is a topic lots of other people can relate to here. One of the hardest parts for me following my breakup has been social media. I finally admitted defeat and deactivated my Facebook account because I couldn't muster the courage to delete my ex as a friend and seeing her page was causing me too much stress. I wish I could just delete her but I can't find the courage to do that yet. I also haven't found the courage to delete her on Instagram. I did for a day but I found myself constantly going to her page anyway and re-added her (something she contacted me about, which caused me more angst). I'd really like some tips on how to handle social media and breakups. And I'd really like some advice about how to resist the temptation of visiting the ex's profiles even after deleting them. And the hardest part for me has been that even if I do delete her, I see her all of the place because we have so many mutual friends (both on social media and real life) that I seemingly can't avoid her- how do you deal with this? Cancel your accounts or delete all of hers & mutual friends that you don't really talk to. You can block her profile since you can't bring yourself to delete it. 1
Author reddragon588 Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Cancel your accounts or delete all of hers & mutual friends that you don't really talk to. You can block her profile since you can't bring yourself to delete it. That's one of the issues. There are mutual friends that I'm comfortable deleting (and have), but many (actually most) of our mutual friends are people that are actually more "my" friends than hers, if you will. I don't want to delete my friends, and I'm also uncomfortable asking them to delete her.
flitzanu Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 if you don't want to delete your friends, you need to man up and block her. then she won't show up anywhere in your social media, simple as that. 1
Virgil876 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I don't think here are any tips but going cold turkey... if you can't handle it that is. 1
itto ogami Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 You should not deactivate your own account just because you can't delete her. That's giving her power. You can delete her. But social media is terrible at the end of a relationship. Cold turkey is the best. 1
D-Lish Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I guess I'm old school, but I really don't get why it is so hard to just walk away from the internet for a while- especially if it's become a source of stress. When I was a kid, the home phone would ring and you wouldn't even know who was calling until you answered it. Now you know what everyone is doing at all times, in real-time. You just have to make a good decision for yourself and walk away from the things that are going to remind you of this girl. The world is not going to end if you shut down your twitter account or block her on FB or instagram. I had a very difficult break-up with an ex a few years back, the first thing I did when I got home was delete him and his friends on FB. Honestly, there is a whole lot to be said for the old saying "what you don't know can't hurt you". 1
jesse93 Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 it's hard because you make it a lot more harder than it needs to be, the first thing i did was block my ex girlfriend on facebook and i cleared all my internet history so when i search something her instagram or facebook doesn't pop up in my history, sadly i remember her instagram so its hard for me not to look at that, but i force myself not to look at her because when you look at someone on social media the only thing that comes out of it is hurt. I have moments where i really want to check, like just reading your thread makes me want to look so bad but i can't even if nothing bad is on there I don't want to find out. distract yourself and the feeling will go away of course it will come back from time to time but you just have to keep forcing yourself not too, block her on facebook it will cause so much less stress man, i promise. 1
jenn78 Posted August 8, 2013 Posted August 8, 2013 social media is frustrating as hell in a break up. I blocked my exboyfriend (who dumped me) because i kept look at who he was adding as friends and when he was online and was wondering if he realized if i was online and if he would talk to me. then i kept creeping his instagram. i eventually asked him to block me as a favour so i couldnt see what he was doing. I still have all his friends and some of his family on facebook/instagram... which i'm figuring out what to do because seeing him like things or pictures of him sucks so much but his friends didnt do anything wrong to me so i think its kinda rude to delete them. Or you can do the extreme and deactivate everything. 1
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