jnel921 Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 xOW here so believe me or not. xMM loved his wife before, during, and after the A. He loves her still as they move through divorce. I know because I've witnessed it first hand and heard it in his voice and read it in his words. Did the love change because of my role? It certainly is possible. Or did my influence make him realize the love he had wasn't what he wanted or she deserved? I don't have that answer. It is natural for a BS to assume the WS did not love them. That is an entirely logical assumption to make, true in some cases. And it certainly gives the explanation BS need to begin to set things back in order. It is much more difficult to accept the fact that BS loved you and cheated anyway. It doesn't make rational sense and we humans so love things to be rational. When you are betrayed it has nothing to do with love. I am sure there was anger and resentment from issues that were between the both of us. My H choice to ignore our situation and have his ego and c*** stroked by a complete stranger didnt help the situation. We don't expect our spouses to go out there and have A. We expect them to handle business at home. When there is time, money, sex and emotions taken away from the M because now our spouse is investing it elsewhere, is this a problem? Hell yes. The investment and commitment should be to the marriage. I am sure you did not feel the love come your way as cheaters will cheat you of that unconditional emotion. The AP winds up aligning their life with their MP family life which is ridiculous. So now the AP shows the WS they are willing to put up with anything. ow much love or respect do you think will be given??? Seriously.
harrybrown Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 How would you be treating your husband if he had your affair? How would you feel about him doing things with another woman and giving her his love? would you have taken him back? Your husband is still hurting deeply and will be for years.
Steadfast Posted August 11, 2013 Posted August 11, 2013 I have always believed that real love grows and strengthens over time. The definition for real love would be love that isn't burdened with being the foundation of a person's happiness, self esteem, or sense of purpose. Real love grows and strengthens when given, through action and loving motivation. It is tough, resilient, understanding and cherished. When two people love like this, with this kind of passion, depth and wholeheartedness it's virtually impossible to cheat. It would be easier to exchange your children for the offspring of another couple. It would NEVER HAPPEN. Who are we to say someone doesn't 'love' someone else? It's far easier to comprehend and understand that many people don't know what real love is. 1
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