feelinghopeless89 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Quick question. I work with my ex (bad idea, I know). We were so close for years but because of the circumstances with our breakup I told him there was no way I could be friends with him. He got so mad at me for that (ugh). Anyways, we have a lot of mutual friends and an example of what he tells them about me is things like, "I can't stand her with a passion". Basically just very hurtful and strong words that just kill me. He is my manager so I always act professional around him, but recently when he sees me at work he is so overly nice, making jokes with me, teasing me about little things like he used to when we were together. I just DON'T GET IT. Why is he saying all of these horrible things about me behind my back, but acting like everything is perfectly fine when we see each other? I know a lot of you are going to say I shouldn't care and just leave the job. I know. But, I do care because I am so curious and it has been driving me crazy. I am also applying to so many places and am hoping to get a new job soon :'(.
Sneaky Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Why is he saying all of these horrible things about me behind my back, but acting like everything is perfectly fine when we see each other? Because he's a coward and a jerk. I hope your job hunt goes well so you can get out of this toxic situation. 1
Author feelinghopeless89 Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Yes, me too. It's so hard because I've been there for 4 years and I feel like almost everyone there is family so it's going to be so hard for me to leave. Just a bad situation :'(.
LostInTheWild Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I never understood why someone with a lesser title should have to leave their place of work when things go awry in a relationship with a person who has a more important title. I know you know that dating the boss isn't cool... In this case, rather than leaving my job, I would plan on and intend to stay. I would pretend to love his really dumb jokes and be completely professional with him no matter how much it hurt me. I would look my best every day just to show him it wasn't hurting me even if it really was. If he continued in any sort of way, like touching or anything, I would report him for it. Managers get in more trouble for this because they are leaders...
Author feelinghopeless89 Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 I totally agree. For months I have been doing all of those things! Acting nice right back, always looking my best when I go into work, joke right back with him.. He has told our friends he wishes I would just leave (partly because the ex he left me for didnt want me there), and partly because he's just rude. So everyone was telling me the same thing and just to stay because it will make him mad. It's been a few months of doing that, and I'm still so depressed and sad about the breakup (although at work you would never know it - I act like I'm so happy!), that I don't know what else to do now except for leave. It's like I'm in hell but I can't get myself to just leave. Ugh. Thanks for the feedback it helps so much getting outside opinions.
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