coollady_1974 Posted November 2, 2004 Posted November 2, 2004 I have decided to end my relationship with my boyfriend and need some advice on where and how to do it. My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for 12 years. I found that he's been cheating on me and made a kid that he hid for almost a year. I also contracted VD from his affair. It's been 6 months since everything came out and feel that being with him is not worth it. I have a daughter from another relationship (one of our off times) who calls him daddy as he's been her father in every sense of the word. I want to break up with him tomorrow, but in a public, but private atmosphere. Any suggestions? Also, in all honesty, I want nothing to do with him, but since he has a bond with my daughter, I have to deal with him. What should I do? How should I handle that? Lastly, I am so afraid of being alone. How have others handled the loneliness?
tattoomytoe Posted November 2, 2004 Posted November 2, 2004 hopefully you do not live with him...if so, maybe stay away for a few days after you drop the bomb. maybe go to lunch and tell him, that way if he does blow up you are there...i am assuming that was why you said public/ private.
MelodyJ Posted November 3, 2004 Posted November 3, 2004 If you know it is the right thing to do, and it obviously is, just do it. Be strong, calm and in control, no tears, no drama. Keep your head straight and don't start rehashing all the bad things because he will just make excuses and it will turn ugly. If you think he will get angry then do it in a public place. Do you live together? Is it your home or his? If you are the one who will have to move (as in my case) make sure you have made arrrangements to get your things together so he can't change the locks or some other childish sort of behavior. And don't have your kid present, leave her with someone you trust and who knows what is going on. Do not let him manipulate you. You can do this, it is for the best. As far as the lonely part, I believe this is the reason people stay where they are for longer than they should. We are afraid to be with ourselves. This is my plan to stave off that feeling: Concentrate on my kids first, enjoy every moment with them because the grow up too fast. Go to school and take a class in anything that I want that will keep me interested and help me to better myself. Take friends and relatives up on visits that I have turned down for so long because "he didn't want me gone" Throw myself into my job to make up for all the times my head was to messed up to give it my full attention. And when Fri/Sat nights come along, a few drinks, hot bath, good book/movie and rest. You will be fine.
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