sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 So I'm going on a date tomorrow. Before you all high-five me, it isn't my date. It's my friend's date. And he wants me to go along. This is going to be weird. It's an activity date that really requires 2 people to both be competent at the activity for it to work, and my friend's date isn't competent at it (at least, I think that's why I've been asked along). As an activity it'll be fine with 3, but as a date this could be awkward. Advice or suggestions welcome.
Author sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I'm a man. My friend is a man. His date is a woman.
Woop1337 Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I suggest to not go. It's your friend's date. Let him worry about the repercussions of bringing someone who isn't competent on the activity he himself arranged. Another possiblity is, maybe your friend doesn't dig the girl as much. That's why he wants a third party there.
Author sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) I'm not cancelling... he's my friend and I told him I'd go. But yes, I can see that avoiding the situation by not being there solves all the problems of it being awkward, but it also sets up a new problem of letting a friend down. I don't know how much he likes her or what the history is. I've never met her before. Edited August 6, 2013 by sillyanswer typo
Author sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 awkward. and quite odd. Yes you're probably right, but do you have either some advice or a suggestion?
Treasa Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 LOL What's the activity?? My mind is going to dirty places. Also, does this mean I can't come and beat you anymore? 1
Author sillyanswer Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 LOL What's the activity?? My mind is going to dirty places. Rock climbing. There needs to be a competent person at the non-climbing end of the rope so that when/if the climber falls he/she doesn't land on the floor, so if there are only 2 people and only one of them is competent then that person can't really do any climbing. Also, does this mean I can't come and beat you anymore? I'm in London. Come on over any time!
Treasa Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Rock climbing. There needs to be a competent person at the non-climbing end of the rope so that when/if the climber falls he/she doesn't land on the floor, so if there are only 2 people and only one of them is competent then that person can't really do any climbing. I'm in London. Come on over any time! Oh. I'd say go ahead. Just kind of ignore them when you don't need to pay attention and enjoy the scenery. "I'm going to go over there now and check out that awesome rock formation." And hell yeah! I love Brits! 1
happywithlife Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Given the circumstances, I would say go and don't feel awkward about it! Your friend is trying to impress his girlfriend, needs your help doing so, and trusts that you'll be a fun addition to the day. Its not like he invited you out to a romantic dinner as a third wheel. Its casual, fun, and he needs your help. Enjoy it! Maybe his girl will be so impressed that she will have to introduce you to one of her friends! 2
veggirl Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 um. dont they have instructors who will help out? actually, my 2nd date with my bf was at a rock climbing gym...I'd never been, he is an avid fan. we didn't need a 3rd party. he taught me how to spot him (or whatever it is called) and i did it, and he did it for me. i don't get why you need to go. does she know you are coming? how awkward. 2
Lansing Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 It isn't that hard to learn belaying. He should teach her or have an instructor teach her. It will also look more like he has confidence in her ability. If she can't figure out how to belay then maybe he shouldn't be dating her (unless there is an enormous weight difference but I think they can accommodate for that no? I haven't been in ages). BTW, is "gooseberry" the same as the "3rd wheel"? Never heard that term before (Except for the fruit/berry!). I guess you Brits have a way with words
Author sillyanswer Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 um. dont they have instructors who will help out? Probably, if you pay them. actually, my 2nd date with my bf was at a rock climbing gym...I'd never been, he is an avid fan. we didn't need a 3rd party. he taught me how to spot him (or whatever it is called) and i did it, and he did it for me. i don't get why you need to go. Spotting while bouldering (ie non-roped climbing) is something you can teach in a few minutes. Belaying (managing the non-climbing end of the rope in roped climbing) isn't something I would trust to a complete novice... and of course you can't easily teach a novice if you're 10 metres up the wall. does she know you are coming? Unknown. how awkward. Yeah, probably will be. The things you do for friends!
Author sillyanswer Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 It isn't that hard to learn belaying. He should teach her or have an instructor teach her. I'm working on the idea that he can teach her while I climb. That way he gets to 'interact' with her. BTW, is "gooseberry" the same as the "3rd wheel"? Never heard that term before (Except for the fruit/berry!). I guess you Brits have a way with words Yup!
Mascara Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Your friend is a fool. However, it does have the makings of a romantic comedy, where she ignores your friend, and your eyes meet. So have a wash. 1
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Tell him to tell her to bring one of her female friends for you. 1
Mr_Flay Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Tell him to tell her to bring one of her female friends for you. Yeah, I was just about to type that. Make it a strict condition.
RebelWithoutACause Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 Yeah, I was just about to type that. Make it a strict condition. Better yet ask for two hot blonds.
bellabella Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I'm a climber and been in this situstion before - I see your options as: 1. Arrange to meet someone else too and then just give him a belay when he needs it and climb with another partner 2. Like you said, let him teach her to belay when you're climbing, then you leave them to it and go off and boulder if she is competent. I actually learnt to belay with just one other person with me, he taught me on the ground and then off he went! I'm not quite sure I'd have trusted me so quickly, but i have never dropped anyone!! 3. Climb normally as a three and i'm sure they won't make you feel awkward! 1
TouchedByViolet Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 He doesn't need you but since he asked and you said yes, you should go. No way anyway should get belay certified their first time climbing. Very unsafe practice. He should teach his date how to spot for bouldering, the rest is his responsibility. Where ever he and his date go climbing he could ask someone their to belay him if he wants to top rope or lead. Most climbers are friendly and have no problem belaying others. Some places have autobelays too. 1
Author sillyanswer Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Some places have autobelays too. Good point that I hadn't thought of! I'll see if this place has any when I get there.
Author sillyanswer Posted August 7, 2013 Author Posted August 7, 2013 Update: It was cool. More like 3 people enjoying an activity than 2 people on a date plus me. I wonder if she even knew it was a date. He owes me beers.
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