berkeley1987 Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 so my ex is the one who dumped me. i didn't do enough to keep her happy and she ended it. my actions throughout the breakup were foolish. examples of my actions were like threatening to cut her off forever, being friends with a girl who is her enemy, forcing her to get back together, accusing her of cheating, ignoring her for days when she tried to apologize for her actions and for saying i hate her. now she's asking me to give her space to heal and forgive me. i granted it but now i feel the need to apologize for things i said and did.. should i break no contact to do so?? does her forgiving me lead to us getting back together??
Philosoraptor Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 You can forgive someone and in no way want to be in a relationship with them. If you did all those things, your focus now should be on maturing to the point that you don't have such emotional outbursts in the future. This should hopefully help you not do such harm in future relationships. 1
SteveWolf Posted August 2, 2013 Posted August 2, 2013 I got out of a serious relationship do to very similar circumstances. The best thing you can do is give her space until she gets in contact with you.
ForeverHopeful1 Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 You can forgive without reconciling. You cannot reconcile without forgiveness. So, with that logic, as long as she is trying to forgive you, you MAY have a shot. Forgiveness means forgiveness, not reconciliation.
happydate Posted August 4, 2013 Posted August 4, 2013 so my ex is the one who dumped me. i didn't do enough to keep her happy and she ended it. my actions throughout the breakup were foolish. examples of my actions were like threatening to cut her off forever, being friends with a girl who is her enemy, forcing her to get back together, accusing her of cheating, ignoring her for days when she tried to apologize for her actions and for saying i hate her. now she's asking me to give her space to heal and forgive me. i granted it but now i feel the need to apologize for things i said and did.. should i break no contact to do so?? does her forgiving me lead to us getting back together?? Forgiveness and repentance go hand in hand. People these days treat forgiveness like cheap LIP SERVICE to God. It's not; as the bible says both of them must be done together to be real. Yes you can reconcile if both of you truly repent upon the bad deeds both of you committed during the tenure of the relationship. Until both of you are healed from the wounds, the relationship can not be truly reconciled. When the wounds are healed, both of you will truly be different people. You may or may not continue to date, but then both of you have already forgiven each other anyhow. So then forgiveness is truly blessed. Most people want forgiveness, but to keep the same status quo like a smoker claimed to be smoke free, but occasionally smoke once or twice a year. Nope, it doesn't work that way.
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 would it be doing to much if i tell my ex how much i miss her and how much i want to get back together?? she dumped me in May and i apologized to her last weekend for my mistakes. she replied "i appreciate your apology." we've been in limited contact and now i want to tell her how much i feel.
TaraMaiden Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 No, it's not a bad idea. it's a massively stupid, foolish, reckless, idiotic and self-torturing, self-destructive, masochistic hideous idea!! But given that you listen to very little advice about No Contact and try to mould things to your liking (only to be repeatedly bitten on the ass by your own actions) go ahead. prolong your agony, why doncha? *Shakes head*....Insane.....
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 i'm done with no contact. it's doing nothing but making us grow apart and move on which is not what i want.
TaraMaiden Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Tie that noose a little tighter why don't you? SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU!! This isn't about what you want! It's OVER!! But honestly, you sound like you're completely blinded by your own delusions, so go ahead, do what you have to do. Just quit posting about your confusion, your not understanding what she means, why she does this, that and the other, why she would say this yet do another thing.... We don't care. You play into this insanity, put up with the mess it creates.
Author berkeley1987 Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 youre an *******. stop replying to my posts if you don't like them.
TaraMaiden Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I'm only saying what everyone else will say. Why? Because used properly NC helps you recover, heal, move on and put you in a better frame of mind for dating. Whether it's your ex- or someone else. But you're never going to accept that anyone else could possibly be right about this, in spite of the fact that we - and I - have seen this drama playing out over, and over, and over again. You're not alone in your views. Plenty of others have been as wrong as you, too.
Babolat Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I'm only saying what everyone else will say. Why? Because used properly NC helps you recover, heal, move on and put you in a better frame of mind for dating. Whether it's your ex- or someone else. But you're never going to accept that anyone else could possibly be right about this, in spite of the fact that we - and I - have seen this drama playing out over, and over, and over again. You're not alone in your views. Plenty of others have been as wrong as you, too. NC reads: "The only thing you should actually ever respond to is a clear and absolutely unequivocal signal, from them that they desperately love you and would do anything to be able to try again." Can't he tell her this?
Simon Phoenix Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 NC reads: "The only thing you should actually ever respond to is a clear and absolutely unequivocal signal, from them that they desperately love you and would do anything to be able to try again." Can't he tell her this? He can. He's going to get it slammed back in his face, or worse yet, he'll get toyed with for a while until he gets it slammed back in his face, but sure, he can do whatever he wants. Odds he'll crash and burn are extremely high though.
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