Straw poll - has anyone got back with their ex or am I deluding myself?

[whites7]

After being recently (2 days) dumped I am in emotional hell. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't work...there is only blackness.

 

I know about the stages of grief and all that Boll**ks and I am struggling to accept I may e in denial, I can't believe after so many words of love, of plans of marriage.....

 

****, I can't believe she can't see what a huge mistake she is making and how I am the best thing that has ever happened to her.

 

So, my post.....am I a fool to dream she will wake up and know what a mistake she is making...or am I just fooling myself because the pain of anything else is searing through my heart and destroying me piece by piece

 

S

[bluechocolate]

I've had two break ups in my past where I would have gladly stayed. It hurt like hell & I acted like a real jerk sometimes but I survived.

 

I never got back with either of them.

[ltomlinson81]

I think it is best to leave a relationship expecting never to be with that person again. That way, each of you get the time and space necessary to heal and put things into perspective. If you get back together after that, then it was meant to be. But don't live for that day, because it may never come and it will drive you crazy.

 

Of my 2 long-term relationships, I have never gotten back with either of those exes, either.

[opaleye]

Well I did get back with my ex after he broke up with me because he wasn't sure if he wanted to be in a relationship and said that he wanted to go overseas and be single- we broke up for 3 weeks but spent a lot of time together and after that 3 weeks he asked me if I would consider taking him back because he realised he had made a mistake. So we got back together. But 5 months later he broke it off again so I can't say that it was the best thing to do..... but we did have a great 5 months (well 4 and a half i suppose).

 

I don't know, sometimes exes will realise that they have made a mistake but it mightn't last... they might just make the same decision down the track and prolong it all.... give it a bit more time, it is so recent for you that you are going to be desperately clinging to the hope of her calling and asking you back and begging your forgiveness, if that keeps you going then it's okay because in a bit you will start to feel better and eventually get used to the idea that it might never happen. Just don't put all your hopes on reconciliation because that won't help you in the long run. Try to be strong and take care.

[TranslucentThoughts]

Well, I never got back together with this ex boyfriend... but he did come crawling back to me. It was really weird. I loved him so much, but he would never truly open up to me. We were together for awhile but he just couldn't keep up the relationship. He was to busy, to... lazy. I don't know... Anyway... he knew how much I cared about him... but he dumped me. I grieved for a long time. I was really, really hurt. But.. time went by... life went on and I ended up meeting someone else. 8 months through my new relationship Mr. Dumper came back into my life and spilled his heart out to me. He told me he was so in love with me and had made a terrible mistake. He said letting me go was the worst thing he had ever done and that he would do anything to get me back. But, he couldn't... I was in love with someone else and I no longer had those feelings for him.

 

So... it is possible for an ex to realize they have made a mistake. But... I guess it also depends on how exactly the relationship ended in the first place. Only time will tell.. Until then... it will hurt a lot and it will be really hard to move on.. but eventually it will happen. And who knows... maybe she will want you back... but you may not want her anymore if/when that time comes.

 

Good luck with everything.. and take care of yourself.

[whites7]

Ouch....guess the truth hurts!

 

So, if I am clutching at straws...why do I feel so misunderstood. Why can't she see I am the best person she will ever meet.

 

Do I really have to give up?

 

If you didn't get back together.....do you think that dreaming about being back together slowed your healing process....

 

If you did get back together then tell me how, cos I'm kinda desperate and it doesn't make me feel very good about myself

[Naive]

If you break up with someone it's because obviously something was not working out. What is going to make it better the second, third, fourth or whatever time around? Sure you miss the person and when you go back to them you are all lovey dovey, but what happens after that??? What then?