Mustachioed_Cad Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 While the actual story is a bit more complicated, I'll try to summarize my issue here. It's been roughly two weeks since I've last spoken to a certain girl with whom I have been sharing a five-month relationship. After an awkward parting one evening, I confessed that I was guilty of stringing her along, as did she--although in hindsight I suspect that may have been a face-saving measure on her part. She's an attractive, sweet kid that's been handed a tougher hand than many of us have had to deal with in this life, and I'm pretty sure I broke her heart, and it's killing me right now. Since we last spoke, things were left up-in-the-air. Just a total cessation in communications. Just a banal comment about an assignment. I feel compelled to say something to her--something to finalize our situation, but more importantly to say something encouraging to her-- to let her know that it wasn't her fault for how things turned out, and to tell her that she deserves someone who can make her happy. The question is: do I? Am I yet again being selfish here, causing disruption to assuage my own guilt? or is this really the solid, mature thing to do? What do I even say? I realize it's sparse on details, but I'm trying to condense my ever-changing thoughts here. Thanks.
Zahara Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 She's had two weeks of NC. I'd allow her to keep going because contact from you will only set her back. There will come a point that whatever you need to say to her now, will be completely irrelevant and useless when she's over this. You did the honest thing by letting her know your true intent, although I'm not a fan of dragging someone for five months for whatever your reasons. I'd suggest you leave her alone. You've done enough damage, if she was really into you. Best to let her lick her wounds and get over it the best way she knows how, and not how you believe your words could possibly help her.
Author Mustachioed_Cad Posted August 6, 2013 Author Posted August 6, 2013 I didn't mean that I had been stringing her along for the entire five months, but point taken.
JustSomeoneHurt Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I would just let it be, don't contact her again. You told her the truth and there's nothing left. If she hasn't contacted you for two weeks that means she's doing okay enough not to trip over what happened. Let it go another two weeks, and so forth, and she'll be fine. To be honest, it seems like you are the one who is experiencing a lot of guilt over this and it may be time to re-evaluate if you feel you made the right decision. If the answer is yes, then let it be as I said. If not, then consider asking her to get back together. But if I were you I would let this one go, it is what it is and I'm sure she'll find someone else -- only saying that because I doubt it would go differently if you got back together.
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