thishatteredsymphony Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) All my posts here over the last few weeks (and most especially last night) would seem to say otherwise, but this morning something inside me was different. I felt ready to really and truly move on and let my life take its course. And something told me now was the time to break No Contact. Ludicrous, it sounded. Mad and insane. But I did it because I felt it was right. And so I broke it. I made it short but direct. It was just to say a final good bye and I hope she has a wonderful life. I think getting a text from her last night helped me somehow. Yeah, it made me upset at first but it also made me think. Did I think there might be a chance my breaking NC would feed her ego and lessen her opinion of me? Yes, but you know what? I don't really care at all what she thinks of me anymore. I know who I am and what I can offer to the world and to other people, I have no time to waste on just one person. I accept the *possibility* I could regret this decision. But, it's been 6 hours since I sent that message and I don't regret it at all. I feel alive. I feel like I finally had my own closure and I can truthfully say I couldn't care less if she responds or not. Ladies and gentlemen, I feel free. And it feels wonderful. Please do not use this as a reason to break NC. Do NOT break NC if you don't feel it will help you. I made the choice to do it because it felt right, and in doing so I have found personal freedom and fully know I can now let her go and live my life in peace. Edited August 6, 2013 by thishatteredsymphony 3
HateThisLimbo Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 I agree. I always feel great for a little while but then I hit rock bottom within a day and am right back at square one. 1
JustAReformedGirl Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 If it helped you, all the more power to you. If you regret it later, be secure in the knowledge that many people have false starts when it comes to NC. On top of that, even if you do feel some regret, it will pass with time. Just make sure you stay NC, from here on out. Best wishes! I hope you maintain this upbeat feeling. 2
unexpectedlyhere Posted August 7, 2013 Posted August 7, 2013 I've not really done NC consciously before, but if I remember correctly from previous (less traumatic) breakups, the thing about NC is that you only really "break it", when it no longer occurs to you you're keeping it. Listen to your emotions carefully over the next few days and take great care of yourself! 2
Author thishatteredsymphony Posted August 8, 2013 Author Posted August 8, 2013 Just a bit of an update: I'm a couple days past breaking NC, haven't heard anything back from her. I'm going out with some friends tonight and I'm looking forward to it! I'm working out, have a job interview with a really great place lined up tomorrow, and I'm continuing to do so many things for me and I feel I'm going places. I'm feeling so good about my life right now. 1
anythingbut Posted August 9, 2013 Posted August 9, 2013 Man, I really hope that I don't have any feelings 18 months down the line - this prospect scares the hell out of me. I want so much to just get through this and find closure within myself. I've recently hit 5 months NC and had the worst month of depression since the break up, starting to feel better this week, and hoping that I've been through the worst :/ ...Re original post, I broke NC and felt great for 48 hours, before starting to get really upset, despite my best efforts, that they felt I wasn't even worth the time to respond. I started off by thinking 'don't care if they respond or not'... but my mindset was so all over the shop at the time, it was inevitable that I would start to feel differently within a couple of days, and sure enough it did. Hope the same doesn't happen to you OP
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