Squishee Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 Hello, I am sorry if this is long but im losing my mind. I am 31 years old and I was with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. We talked of marriage and children and buying a house often. 2 Sundays ago he came home from the gym and told me that we should seperate. We lived together for 3 years and had 2 pets. Our families have intertwined. Our moms are best friends, I am close with his sister, and he plays hockey with my brother. Hes been talking about getting a ring for a long time but never did it. He was full of empty promises. Our lease is up August 31st and we had plans to move into an apartment in my mothers house to save money. A little background: I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer December of 2011 and the summer following my surgery (january 2012) i had a rough time. I was a hypochondriac and had severe anxiety. He reached his breaking point told me that I should stay with my mother for a little while. During that time he would text me and tell me he missed me and stuff. The seperation didnt last long. I went back home and things were good. I got better. This past March I lost my job. I got into a rut and things went downhill. he is very logical and all about security and money and things like that. We both loved each other and our life goals the same. But we clashed on things...which an couple does. So I left the apartment and he is going back to his mothers after the lease is up. I did all the things you arent supposed to do when someone dumps you...cant turn back the clock. I want him to realize his mistake. He is a sensitive guy...but as of 2 days ago i learned he is now seeing a 24 year old party girl who juggles guys like shes in the damn circus... I lost my mind. I was crying, my mom was crying his mom was crying his sister was so upset...everyone is like "what the hell is he doing" its driving me crazy. he told me it wasnt because of love. it was because of things i didnt want to know. like a financial spreadsheet he made for me to help me get organized and things like that. He felt as though he was alone with all the tough stuff and always felt like the bad guy...and i felt alone with all the relationship stuff and i always felt like the nagging bitch. i tried so hard not to be that way. how can he be with a 24 year old? how can it be so soon? how can he not care an ounce how hurt i am? its like he just shut off his feelings. 2 weeks he starts seeing this girl. my side of the bed was not even cold yet. he never even missed me. will he ever realize this can be worked out? will he ever contact me again?
NoLeafClover Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 (edited) Hello, I am sorry if this is long but im losing my mind. I am 31 years old and I was with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. We talked of marriage and children and buying a house often. 2 Sundays ago he came home from the gym and told me that we should seperate. We lived together for 3 years and had 2 pets. Our families have intertwined. Our moms are best friends, I am close with his sister, and he plays hockey with my brother. Hes been talking about getting a ring for a long time but never did it. He was full of empty promises. Our lease is up August 31st and we had plans to move into an apartment in my mothers house to save money. A little background: I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer December of 2011 and the summer following my surgery (january 2012) i had a rough time. I was a hypochondriac and had severe anxiety. He reached his breaking point told me that I should stay with my mother for a little while. During that time he would text me and tell me he missed me and stuff. The seperation didnt last long. I went back home and things were good. I got better. This past March I lost my job. I got into a rut and things went downhill. he is very logical and all about security and money and things like that. We both loved each other and our life goals the same. But we clashed on things...which an couple does. So I left the apartment and he is going back to his mothers after the lease is up. I did all the things you arent supposed to do when someone dumps you...cant turn back the clock. I want him to realize his mistake. He is a sensitive guy...but as of 2 days ago i learned he is now seeing a 24 year old party girl who juggles guys like shes in the damn circus... I lost my mind. I was crying, my mom was crying his mom was crying his sister was so upset...everyone is like "what the hell is he doing" its driving me crazy. he told me it wasnt because of love. it was because of things i didnt want to know. like a financial spreadsheet he made for me to help me get organized and things like that. He felt as though he was alone with all the tough stuff and always felt like the bad guy...and i felt alone with all the relationship stuff and i always felt like the nagging bitch. i tried so hard not to be that way. how can he be with a 24 year old? how can it be so soon? how can he not care an ounce how hurt i am? its like he just shut off his feelings. 2 weeks he starts seeing this girl. my side of the bed was not even cold yet. he never even missed me. will he ever realize this can be worked out? will he ever contact me again? I am sorry to hear this I am sure it's not easy. From personal experience I imagine it's just a fling thing he's going through trying something new (probably because she is younger) but that doesn't mean what he's doing is right. Id say focus more on your well being first. Don't think too much on "how he could do this" You will never get an answer to such questions even if he took his time and talked to you face to face, he would probably deny or lie to you. If you think you can take him back after knowing he has been with someone else than I give you credit. I could never go through it after knowing my recent ex was screwing someone less then a couple of days right after we broke up. That is a question you should ask yourself and if you CAN NOT then I would start and try to MOVE ON right away. Cut off all ties and put anything that reminds you of him away. Again I am sorry to hear this but if you give it time, you will start to think straight and realize that perhaps it's not worth being with someone that will practically cheat on you like that.(in my book I consider this cheating but to each their own) I know it's easier said then done, but please for your own good try to give yourself some time to think straight at least.. or you are going to be miserable for a very long time until you tire yourself out and give up from exhaustion. Edited August 6, 2013 by NoLeafClover
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