doowop Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 First time poster here! Basically me and my boyfriend of four years split up a week and a half ago. We had been growing a little distant, bickering a bit more than usual. It came to the point where I even asked him were we okay, as we were going on holiday soon and I didn't want to split up when we came home. He assured me everything was fine, he loved me, it was just a rough patch, the holiday would be good for us and our problems were just down to us being busy (I had been working 2 jobs up until this point) Needless to say my fears came true, and we broke up two weeks after the holiday. We had a silly little argument and the break up seemed to come from there. I wanted to try and talk about why we were bickering and to see if we could work on things, he had other ideas and said 'something had changed' and he wanted to be on his own. As we were breaking up I told him that once he left there was no going back, that I couldn't do on and off and I can't do breaks. Obviously this made no impact on his decision. Since the split I've been talking with friends to get their opinions on what went wrong and what I should do. I've been surprised that a couple of them have encouraged me to speak to him, and to make sure that the split wasn't over a misunderstanding and have even suggested that he may feel 'awkward' about initiating contact and reconciliation after all that's been said. I am extremely wary about this. I haven't spoken to him since the split, besides arranging for him to collect his things. I've been reading this forum daily and understand that no contact is the philosophy on these boards. I guess I just want reassurance that I am doing the right thing in not speaking to him, and it's better to try and move on than risk deepening the wounds of the break up by contacting him? I guess another thing I'm wondering is that if he did suddenly have the lightning bolt moment of realisation that he can't live without me he'd ignore what I said about it being over forever, and make contact with me anyway? I disagree with my friend and I think that if wants me, he knows where to find me even if I said at the time I didn't want to reunite. Am I right in thinking this? I'm sorry for this ramble, I'm just so confused about everything. Any guidance or insight would be greatly appreciated x
Philosoraptor Posted August 6, 2013 Posted August 6, 2013 You don't break up over something little. This "misunderstanding" was just his way out of the relationship while shifting some of the blame to you and guilt off of him. You will do what you feel is best, but I wouldn't make contact. If he had a realization that he truly couldn't live without you he would show it. And you say you wouldn't want to reunite now anyways so there is no reason to contact him.
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